Can I have some advice please?

Just a friend.

Go with the one that will make you a better person...your dad. Getting nice stuff is very shallow and not a good reason. Time to grow up.

In a way you're in a terrible situation, having to choose, but in a way you're doubley well off, having two really good homes to choose between.

I think you should take a longer view with this choice. What do you need to help you become the person you want to be? Which parent is better able to help you steer yourself in that direction? It sounds like you'll be happy with either parent and I trust you'll spend plenty of time and keep in close touch with the parent you don't live with--you can call the parent, even though you might be used to having the parent call you. It makes the adult know that you think about them, too.

Anyway, think of what you want to do and what you need in order to get there and then choose.

Good luck to you.

lola

Why can't you split the time between the two of them .Then you will have the best of both worlds. Good luck honey. I am glad you like your step mom that is very rare In most cases, and if you real mother don't object go to your fathers on the weekends and be with your mom during the week. Then when school is out you can stay a little longer with each of them.

Luv2singnbling

That's tough. I would say going with your mom because you need advice and can help you out.

mom_of_4

Oh hon.. that is such a hard decision to make! Just go with your heart! I would suggest your mom only because you will be having questions as a teenager and it would probably be easier to talk to your mom about. But ultimately it's your decision! Good luck! Just remember you can visit the one you do not live with!

Uncle John

My suggestion is, live with your dad, and get yourself a job. You might actually like being a sister. he doesn't like to spend money? He's gonna have to spend money, when the baby is born. Anyway, go with your father, but keep in touch with your mother.

rjsr40

Spend time with both, but stay with your mother. There is nothing like a mother's love and advice.

Maggie Mae

You'll be a big sister no matter where you live. And I suspect your mom will still buy you clothes no matter where you live also. Your mother will still be sweet and giving, and your father will still be funny and smart--no matter where you live.

Can you ask them to live in the same school district so you can live in both houses equally? You could alternate weeks with mom and dad. Many families do it. And it sounds like both your parents care very much for you. They wouldn't be offended to hear you asking for equal time in both households.

If it's not possible to split equal time by living in the same school district, perhaps live with your mother during the school year and your father for the entire summers. (Of course, being with your father throughout the school year too.)

azizah_smaiavicenna

with u mom. what i'm afraid is if u living with u dad, u will have some trouble with ur stepmom and her child.
BUT when u dicide to live with ur mom, nevah forget u still have father

klangaz

It appears that you are favouring the parent who can give you the most material posessions.
Why dont you base your decision on more sensible criteria, eg -
spending equal amounts of time with both of them. Think about quality and not quantity.
You sound a sensible person who has parents who love you - dont take advantage of this situation.
Love your mum and dad, because, they obviously love you.

kaylora

Can you discuss shared custody with your parents? If they live close enough, then you could spend time with each. If that's not an option, then really think about which one will teach you the best lessons about how to grow up. Yes, that may mean the more disciplined of the two (Dad doesn't like to spend money, but maybe he makes better investments. Mom lavishes you with material items, but does she teach you how to stay in a budget?).
What do you want to be when you grow up? Or at age 24? Who has the best skills to help you get there?

carpenter2929

Split your time between both parents and spend as much time equally as you can! leaves you with no guilt and may make you a better person as you mature and see what is really important! the bigger your circle of support; the better the quality of life!
Good luck!

~~~NEVER FORGET 11,SEPT. 2001~~~

your lucky stay with mom

AbErCrombIe

Can't you just compromise and stay at both places?

crystlizm

well even if you do not live with mom, she still has an obligation to provide for you
BUT
you can be a big sister even if you do not live with dad, the kid will be your sibling regardless
if you are with your mom alone I would stay there, a new baby is cute but comes with allot of emotional baggage and crazy hormone swings from the step mom
wow that's a tuff question
Think it out, whatever you do.
either way you can go back and fourth rite?

I love my husband

That is a very hard decision to make. I suggest you try one week on and one week off with each parent. Eventually, you will realize where you are happiest and you will make a decision. If you are equally happy with both parents then I would stay with the one week with your Dad and one week with your Mom.

The fact that your Mom can provide you with girl advice is wonderful but couldn't your Dad's fiancÃ©e do the same thing? As for material things, the money your Mom spends on you may not always be there. Don't base your decision on what each can buy for you. That is shallow.

raulito

Hang in there sister,you have friends,family and email buddies in your corner;now that's a lot of support. you didn't say what your age or grade level, so let me put it to you like this:First you must remember that this was not your fault, nor is it your problem to fix; so take that load off your shoulders and focus on what you need to do to get through this. What household is safest for you to go? Stay there,while you figure out your next move. Stabize yourself first,then you can help them. Take care now.

bballgurlie

well i think it is really up to you and how you feel i live with my mom i love her and my dad the same but no one can take the place of a mom and al the things she has to teach you! plus you will still be a big sister you just won't see the baby as much i go over to my dads every other wekkend ya i miss hm sometimes but it is not like i never get to see him! you should not base who u live with on who spends more money on you that doesn't meen the other one doesn't love you less! they both love you to death! so it is up to you and how you feel no one can decide for you it is all in your heart! good luck and hope you choose whats best for you!

THATHA75

Please stay with MOM but dont cut off ties with DAD.
Also at the earlies opportunoity learn to live on your own legs.

CLE CLE

Your mom. Not because she provides you with clothes and spend money, because she loves you and you came from her. You can still spend time with dad and new family. You are bless to have a set of parents who obviously love you.

bbrown1977usa

seems to be that you could have the best of both worlds. can't you switch off, why is it one or the other? seems your dad would be able to teach you the value of money. And I have feeling that if yo needed somthing your dad would get it for you. Do you really "need" the things your mom gets you? i mean really? if you really think about it hard!

I guess if you had to make a choice you should go with your dad. He's not going to not get you somthing if you need it. and you might actually learn the value of hard work and money

angel

Sounds to me like both of your parents are great, But you see that your dad can provide you with a complete family, and you really want that. Personally I think you should think about your happiness but also about the fact that you have two great parents one has a fiance and another child on the way while your mom sounds alone, maybe she needs you too. I can imagine that this has been very hard on her just as its been on you, it would be great if you could simply live with your mom during the week and spend the weekend with your dad, if this is possible, it would be the best case scenario. Some events in life cause us to make sacrifices to make those we really love happy.
Best wishes :)

flyinhillbillyman

Bad situation.. i feel very sorry for you.Tell them you are now going to live a life of a homeless person, because of them. And then pack your duffle bag and go sit on the sidewalk at your local half way house. That will get them thinking ...

mi4ree

You are 10 years old???? Please, wake up and smell the roses......Tons of children around you have gone through the same problem, and they don't get on the puter and ask questions of strangers.... Please go to your gradeschool counselor, or even you clergy man... Do not ask the advice of strangers when you are 10..... WOW

touchdown_rams05

spend time between the 2 of them a kid shouldn't have to pick which parent

cburns05

pray and following your heart, only you and GOD can answer that

moonspawnhotmailcom

both, your a very lucky girl

greatestmomof4

Some times a step-parent will change after marriage.They don't want the spouses kids around any more. Their only nice to the kids because they don't want to jeopardize anything. And you'll still big a big sister even if you don't live with your dad. I think for now stay with your mom and if things are still good with your dad's fiance and you then decide what you want to do.

lavenderroseford

Why can't you spend time with both of them?

Warrior Within ZX

I'm sorry 2 hear abt 2 parents.Liv with ur dad & mom in intervals lik,say 1 month with ur dad & da nxt month with ur mom.Try 2 make them closer.

dave'swife

You don't get to be a big sister unless you live with your dad? That does not make sense. Maybe try living with your mom on the wkends. so you can shop, then stay with your day during the week for school. I'm assuming you are in school otherwise get your own place and leave your parents alone.

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