Can a man truly love his wife and still cheat on her?

Suzi

This is a tough question. Generally I would say that most affairs are a completely selfish act, without any thought for the person who is being hurt. However, I'm curious how long you were separated. Are we talking days, weeks, or months?

Did he confess - on his own, or did you find out and confront him? There is a difference.

If he confessed, without being accused, he's probably being honest. But if you found out, and confronted him first - well, she may not be the only one...

Best of luck to you

Why not me

I really like what "georgiabirdgir" said. Also it's a matter of conscience & morals. Some take their marriage vows or other personal commitments much more seriously than others. Those that cheat may still proclaim their love of their spouse. Only they know for sure. Personally, I think they love themselves more than their spouse, otherwise they wouldn't be seeking relationships with others. After all, the outside relationship is for themselves, not their spouse. I'll put it like this, men's affairs are usually of the "chew-em-up & spit-them-out variety". Women's are usually of the "test driving new car thinking about trading old one in".

People love their cars, but they don't love gum.

Collette L

Real love isn't something you turn off and on when it's convenient.

It is respect, committment, loyalty and trust. Without those things there is no love.

No, a guy can saitisy his needs without cheating on you with another woman. He did it because he thought he could.

Walk away. He has nothing that it takes for love.

James S

Yes, he could have ( and may still ) love you.

My advice is to forget about what happened before, love him now for all he is, and don't bail unless you feel that he isn't committed to you. You can't change the past..but you can make a great future.

Yes, I think a man can truly love his wife and still cheat on her. Do I think he would do it again if he did it once, YES, no your right you shouldnt have been replacable, but sometimes mens brains are a little farther south than they should be, that doesnt excuse it, I mean if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck its a duck, but yes to answer your first question I think he can, but its like Adam eating the apple, you cant put it back on the tree.

Honey

I dont think he was drunk at all, hes just making up an excuse. He should think about the consequences of his actions. Men seem to think they have excuses i.e. physical needs that is B.S. if you ask me. If i were you, i would go out and do the same. Life's too short to quarrel and cry, i leant that the hard way.

hsarora47

nope.
its all crap!!

I agree with Diane

Nancy M.

If your husband was drunk and cheated on you then that was an excuse for cheating. If he had really loved you lots then he would not have even thought about cheating. He should have told the other woman to leave him alone and to stay away from him. He could have told her this when he was sober.

Big Red

He may love you but not enough to keep him from cheating. How could you trust him again? Sorry...

georgiabirdgirl

Sure, a man can love a woman and cheat on her. But, that doesn't make him any less of an a**hole. It's sort of like how a man can love a woman and still beat her. He might really love her, but can't seem to keep from hurting her.

There are different kinds of love. The kind you want and need from a spouse is the kind where they feel it for you and show it to you all the time. Your husband's problem (and yours now) is that he felt love for you, but decided not to show you love by choosing to do something he knew would hurt you. His own needs were more important to him than the hurt that he would cause you. So, is the fact that he loves you still supposed to make it okay?

Kristy s

Only if he loves himself more. Hope he's using protection

No. If somebody cheats, they weren't in love to begin with. If you truly love somebody, you won't do that.

kim t

Is the grass really greener on the other side of the fence??????

MrBlotto

yes. and those german girls are wild!!

Patty R

Realize the severity of the situation you are in before you allow it to become much worse. Some men have a need that one woman could never fill alone. Can you live the rest of your life looking at him in disgust when you picture him in bed with his mistress? I've been there and it's miserable. Although my husband cheated on me long before we were married or even seriously involved, the picture of him with another woman makes me sick to my stomach. It's a sad life to lead when you can't let go. I don't believe, however, that infidelity follows the "forgive and foget" way of life. It's hard to let it go. If you have the strength, then God bless and good luck. Hopefully it doesn't happen again. Not this year or for the rest of your lifes.

Babycat

You are 100% right. You should not have been that replaceable. That is just a lame excuse to get you to forget what he did. You would not have done that to him. If a person loves you - they are considerate of your feelings. He was not considerate. He did something that he knew would hurt you and yet the fact is - he did it. He says he was lonely and she was always there when he got drunk - he doesn't even accept reponsibility for what he did. How would he feel if you did this to him? A man can stand up and say no. Cheaters never stop. I was married to one. He always had a ton of excuses. I wish I could make it seem better for you but I can't. Even when you try to forgive them, you never forget and the relationship deteriorates. Looking back, I would never have wasted all that time. You deserve someone who treats you better. Good luck.

Diane

he can love you, but he doesn't respect you. If he was so lonely, why didn't he write or call? And he couldnt get you a plane ticket to come visit?

Mastershake

I don't think that you can love someone and cheat. If he's sleeping around while drinking, I'd say he's got a problem. In a relationship, when you love each other but can't be together, there's always your own hands to do the job when lonelyness sets in. Sorry that he did this to you. It will ultimately be up to you to decide where you go from here. He may very well love you, but I think that you if you are willing to hold on, then you guys sound like you need to add something to the fire. Give him reasons to show him why he would miss you. Good luck hon.

Jessica B

no thats not right

noble

No. He is there for some other reason, certainly not love.

jimmy.parker06

Your husband is full of sh!t. He was just horny and took care of his needs. If he really loved you then he could have avoided the temptation. The problem is distance can cause that to happen in a relationship, but it is still not a excuse.

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