Can you ever forgive harsh words said in a temper?

jude

the tongue has to be controlled,if not it can cause broken relationships, loss of friends. the trust is usually gone when u inflict this kind of hurt on others unfortunately.

Julie-Anne

you need to stop doing this. My husband does it and each time, I become further and further away from him emotionally. Now I wont open up most of the time because I can't deal with that childish crap. That's my opinion and my feelings about it. After each time, each apology means less and less.

weezy f baby

yes i can

europe

control yourself
i forgive once or twice but after it's bye bye

Sunshine

They may give you a second chance if they are really trusting, You need to try to put yourself in another persons shoes when you are angry, this can be devastating to people and most won't tolerate it.

Sam

From what you are saying your main aim is to hurt as much as possible and you set out to do this, the temper just seems to be an easy way to do it.

You need to get a grip, no one likes a gossip and you will fast gain a reputation for not being able to keep secrets.

Some things will never be forgotten even if the person says they forgive you, your only option now is to change and start building trust again with the people you care for, so no more temper outburst and revealing information on people.

Find out what sort of things trigger these outburst, and try to stay away from these situations if you can't trust yourself to keep your mouth shut.

Take the first step today!

MOM2BE09/09

I truly think yu can be forgiven for that but it does take away trust when you do that. Just think, how would that make you feel if someone did that to you? Pretty hurtful and be hard to open up to them again. Just b careful of what you say, so you won't lose good people out of your life from your mouth.

Tammy W

nope in life to get by u have to learn how to control em

Vix T

No.

This is disgusting way to behave and you ought to be ashamed of yourself.
Frankly I'm surprised you've got any friends.
If you did that to me I wouldn't even let you apologise, I'd just cut you out of my life and ignore you if I ever saw you again.

Elena

I could not forget it and I would not forget it. It depends on what you say in order to destroy that trust, if you talk about sleeping with someone else then I would not want to be with a cheater, period.

Gary B

Of course you can.
In fact, you MUST.

But not everyone sees it that way. Most people think that forgiveness is earned. It is not -- forgiveness is given unconditionally.

But if you've said bad things to a person that thinks you need to earn forgiveness -- then you're going to have to earn forgiveness by learning to control your mouth.

THAT is a problem YOU need to address. Many people (maybe even most) need to take a sharpie and write on the back of their hand:
"Engage brain before shifting mouth into gear".
STOP AND THINK before you talk.

With most people (and you've admitted to it), having a nasty mouth is a way to "win" an argument, but that is the wrong attitude. It is not whether or not your are RIGHT, it is whether or not you are RECONCILED (together again) with the person you are arguing with.

So YOU need to train yourself that you do NOT have to win every argument. In fact, you can expect to lose most of them, but what you DO win is good solid friends.

Once you begin to exhibit this skill, you will find that people will more often begin to agree with you rather than argue with you, and in the end you will find that you DO actually win most of your arguments, because you have stopped to think about what you are going to say. The bad things are kept silent; only good comes from your mouth.

And everybody agrees with that.

No Picture

I rarely read other answers when I answer, I don't want to be affected. Especially when I like the question, as I do yours. I will tell you that words can kill a person's soul, do you understand that? Try to control that part of you. Try to imagine how you would tell yourself off if you really hated yourself and how awfwul it would feel.I wish I could be like you sometimes, I just am not able to find the words when I really need them. It is a talent to be good at being mean...not just anyone can do it, but is that what you want to be known for? I like that you apologise, it means it's just what you do when you lose it...you aren't really like that so you WILL be able to stop one day if you manage to control your anger. Most times things said in anger should be forgiven, depending on the person and the reason, but they saometimes are never forgotten...Good luck.

Shlane

There's an asian saying that goes " a drunk man speaks a sober man's mind"...they use it for both temper and alcohol. It means that when you are in a certain state you will tell the raw truth

Curious

Look back into your past and you will find an answer into why you do what you do. That way you will stop.

I wouldn't forgive anyone that hurt me in the way you have hurt your husband..... totally bad. If he was my brother, I'd encourage a divorce from you - nobody should take that kind of insult from a partner.

dragonfireresurrected

trust is gone
and you do not win
you lose
as you show you lose control
and thus people can easily manipulate you
by pressing your buttons
and then steering the argument in their favor

you are as a child
and that is operating on raw emotion with on logic behind it
because you know you operate out of fear and weakness
and you lose every argument since you lack logic
hence why you go the anger route

GabbyGal

trust is gone.

You need to find another way to cope this is a bad habit and you can change it.

You would not do this to you r boss so you can control it.

You just need to try harder.

Ice Tea

If your constantly saying it over and over again, someone would eventually take it serious. There's only one thing you can do for this problem and I guarantee this will work, tell them you are sorry and make a promise that you will stop and keep up with your promise because eventually that person that you are doing this to will start to believe it. Good Luck!

At peace

I think sometimes you can be forgiven, but it depends on the person. I am one of those people that will always remember that you said such harsh things...therefore the trust would be gone. Especially if I told you something very private in confidence. Maybe work hard on yourself trying to understand why it is so important for you to win even at the expense of others feelings.

janet a

Always remember -- you can never, ever "un-ring" the bell. Plus, you can control your temper when you need to -- if a policeman is giving you a speeding ticket and you feel furious and extremely angry, you don't start calling the policeman names. Your husband deserves at least that much respect. It really does help to stop and count to ten. Tell your husband, again, how very sorry you are and that your only goal at this time in your life is to stop saying things to him that are cruel. And then, follow through with that. Good luck to you.

Guillem T

You must alwaays forgive if there is real repentance.
Hate the sin and pity the sinner!

urmysunshine

you have to think before saying or yelling cause you always regret it later!!

granny

Yes a person can forgive for hurtful things said but don't think they will ever forget it.It's obvious when one day it will bite ya. Better you learn to control that impulse, better yet Don't think so ugly.

Naguru

There is a great saying. It says. "Control your tongue. If one misuses his tough, one has to suffer untold miseries as a consequence."

I will add to the above quote some more things. Besides avoiding misuse of tongue, we should also not abuse our tongue. We should shower praises wherever possible.

Apologizing later is not going to compensate or solve the problem. One has to be careful before uttering a word. With elders and respectable people, we have to take extra precaution before talking.

A wound inflicted will get cured but a harsh word will remain for ever in the mind.

maggie

Sweetheart we all say things we don't mean from time to time and it is good to apologise, but you must know yourself that cruel words stick with you sometimes and it takes a while to forgive, but we all do forgive, because when you love someone and they love you, you know how they really feel.

Blue Eyed Angel

Unfortunately, the tongue is our worst weapon. We are only human but sometimes when we lose our temper and resort to anger we use our tongue to "lash" out against our adversaries. Although it may seem that it is hard to control what we say, we actually DO possess the will to do so. Believe me, I am not innocent here. I have come a long way and have been on both sides. Just remember, to try to channel your anger and emotions before you jump the gun and use this terrible weapon called a tongue. Have you ever thought about how practical God was in making our hand fit just perfectly over our mouth? It was for a reason. I know it sounds easier said than done but it is worth it. Try some different strategies such as counting to 10 when you are angry, etc. Also, learn to forgive yourself when you act out of line as God has forgiven you. It will come to you if you really, really try.

Good luck, and remember to FORGIVE YOURSELF as you do others who have done wrong to you!

Bobbi

well to me it depends on the argument but to it depends on how the other persons opinion on fighting is so u have to ask that person if they understand that u was just mad but to me u always loose a bit of trust eveytime u fight and a bit of that innocense of the relationship that was pure before.hope that makes sense?!?

Strawberry Fields Forever

Depends on how close that person is to you ..
but being angry is never an excuse .. you should learn how to control your temper .. because it can make you loose a lot of things .. !!

even though that person might say that he forgives you and that he forgot about it .. the harsh words can never escape . . it keeps on ringing from time to time .. it leads your partner to being doubtful, less-open, and sometimes afraid

grandma doozie

Just remember they can forgive you but will never forget. Been there and done that. My Brother hurt me really bad. I know I am suppose to love him because he is my brother but I will never forget. I have forgiven.

Moonsun

no. the hurt builds up into resentment. if the poerson insulting the other does not apologise, then the trust is gone, and the relationship will go too.

i have never forgotton the harsh words said to me. it even caused an eventual end of the relationship.
at first i let the verbal abuse slide, i forgave. but with time the bitterness built up and i hated the other person for how they hurt me.
i ended the relationship because the trust was gone. and i deserve better.

ljjmjd3

you can forgive but it is hard to forget! peoples word is their bond

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