Can you love your husband but not be IN love with him?

seeya

Absolutely. Sometimes life becomes busy, we don't stop to smell the roses. Days turn to months, then months turn to years. If you don't take the time to spend with your significant other, the candle will go out. You still love him and care about him, but that strong desire and need for him is no longer there. Sometimes you can recapture it, but sometimes your heart just knows it isn't going to happen. People change...sometimes we take separate paths that never intercept again. Sad, but true.

pescado534

That's one of the sorriest break-up lines in history; sounds like a high-school girl (You ARE going to dump him, aren't you???)

Marmot

Loving and caring are not the same thing.....

Please remember that those feelings you had when you met him will not be the same forever!! The relationship moves to a different level... Love changes "look" if you want to put it that way!!

Is so hard to explain what love is about... But if you don't feel like you love him as your partner then you need marriage counselling!

Dave

Yep

jayne

Oh yes, you tend to become best friends. Which I think is better

yes definitly

auntylndy

that is a definate YES

ladybird

very good question and i think the answer is yes trouble is you know every thing about them know what they are thinking know what there answer to a question will be and men get complacent but women need to be reminded how special they are and men forget this they think everything in the marriage is OK when it isn't and when you try to explain this they say i will never understand women when really its logic you are not on your own

paddy

if you loved him before you will still love him...........not just a thing you decide ...ach well i think i will love you today.....com-on love.

iain

I suppose so, if you sleep in different bedrooms.

r2d2

Yes it seems humans get caught up in being in love, then when the newness wears off thinks that they are no longer in love...terrible misconception.....There are so many moments in the marriage and throughout the relationship that are disregarded
that were absolutely romantic and very much the notions of being in love in. Love is what sustains the marriage...not always feeling warm and fuzzy, and expecting fireworks to go off to determine if your love is real. Love is of God the Father who has given unto us! We should not worry about being in love...that is highly over-rated esp. when you are comparing it to something that is not real like what you see in movies...that never have time to show their whole lives but rather just a small segment. Love your spouse, and be lovable!

Maggie

I think you define ,in love ,when you first meet and can`t wait to see him again ,when everything you do is exciting ,as you get used to one another and the years roll on ,then you love one another ,does that make sense

BUBBLE

YOU WILL PROB FALL FOR SOME ONE ELSE

loveing_u_hurts

I was 'in love' with my husband for many years and through time, more recently the 'in love' feelings somehow faded away. When you start to feel that you just 'love' your husband and are not 'in love' with them so much it changes the relationship and often it is not enough to sustain it . I personally would not choose a relationship where there's just a 'love' feeling that's more likely to be maintained through sentiment or fear of breaking up and being alone. I do not believe you can have the same quality and value in a marriage when even one partner doesn't feel 'in love' with their spouse the same. Though its possible to find strong loving feelings again with your partner its often hard to fall back into those 'in love' feelings you once had.
Usually when something like this happens it is an indication that the marriage has ran its course, however, many people do stay in a marriage even if they just 'love' their partner for several reasons like finances, children etc.
Much depends on how you value yourself and if your wanting to compromise finding a more loving relationship with someone in the future if you stay. Not many people would want to stay in a loveless relationship. Only you can decide but whatever your reasons to stay in the marriage or go, make sure you do it for the right reasons for yourself. Let your heart be your guide.

kiran

yes, and that's what is called as caring for someone but not in love.

mclamb63

You either love him or you don't.

Shebaby

Sure. I think the key thing here is the can I live without him thing. The kind of passion that comes with being "IN LOVE" doesn't die easily. I know this from my Mom and I always envied her that (she and my dad were that way).

She did divulge one day to me though that the more in love you are the greater they can hurt you.

So for me, I know I don't have that kind of love because I could take it or leave it. He is my companion and I love him and I am safe with that.

I think the real decisions in life involve either playing it safe and knowing what you have or living the edge and not being sure.

What strikes me the most though is the prevailing fact that we all age and may become ill...if you do not settle down, who will be there.

Kind of funny huh...the saying settle down. So in a sense you are settling for love, not being in love.

Yes. The spark may have left your marriage. Please consider counseling - because you CAN get it back. A therapist can help you learn to communicate better and bring intimacy back to your relationship. Please give it a try.

cbrown47@btinternet.com

yes ,this happens to many couples,,,

ikklealsum

yeah you can i felt this way 5 years ago and we ended up apart it took 3 years of hate, anger and hurt for both us and our children for me to eventually realise this was the man i loved and i can honestly say i am 100% in love with him now & thank him for giving me a nother chance i think when you have been together a long time you have to both work at keeping it alive try and get some help it may work out it may not but at least you tried.

Ipsy

Of course you can love your mate but, at the same time not be in love, I myself was in a situation like that before, but it was my boyfriend that I was that I love but wasn't in love with.
You're not the 1st to feel like that and trust me not the last!!!!

KatB

Sure~ the flame has just died down a little...try to spice up the romance department....OR just tell him things aren't going so well....maybe try dating again!! See if that returns those feelings of love~

Trust me...all marriages go through this several times in the course of the relationship...there are days I LOVE my husband...but I'm NOT "in love" with him...and then a few days/weeks go by and I get this overwhelming sense of ...Gee! I love him soooo much...and falling in love with him...feels really good!!

monkeyface

Absolutely

Oh Yes, that is for sure I know it...........I'm living proof........and it's very hard.

Thinksalot

yes i think you can. you love him like a brother or a best friend. you want the best for him, you would cry if something bad happend to him but you just don't have that spark for him. either you can stay with him and love him or you can admit that the flame is gone and get a divorce or therapy.

doodiemoonwalker

Yes, There is a big diffrents in love and being in love.

bronzebeauty

of course you can. loving someone and being in love are two completely different things. you can love the fact that he is a great provider or father to your kids or has a caring manner or whatever but that doesn't mean that you have to be IN love with him. we love alot of people in our lives...i love my best friend and i would do anything for him but i am not in love with him, same with my parents or siblings or any other friends.

IloveMarmite

I reckon yes, Its possible that one may still love him because you are so familiar with him and memories etc but not in love with him because you are so familiar with him etc.....and as we all know the spark can die out but not necessarily the love. Isn't life complicated sometimes !!!

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