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cindy2008
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Believe me. It is harder for you to forgive yourself than you can ever imagine. It is possible, with alot of work. You will have guilt and be very unhappy, but you can do it. Get closer to God and fix things.It's the ultimate sin, but you have to find forgiveness.I dont know about you not telling your spouse. I dont know how that will work. But it will be very hard on you for a while. Giving yourself forgiveness is the hardest.
Good Luck - God Bless You
-Cindy |
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rkrell
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It isn't possible because you can never actually forget it. It will always and forever now be a part of who you are. It may not affect your marriage in the long run but it will affect you as a person. The best thing you can do is simply accept you made a mistake and vow never to let it happen again. |
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Cheer Bear
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Yes, but you need to forgive yourself. It's going to take a while. Only time truly heals all wounds, but with work and you working through it will do it. Also if I might add, I would search within myself to figure out what caused you to stray. Figure out why then you can retify the problem so it won't happen agian.
Good luck. |
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Mr. Bugsme
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Yes. Don't ever let it happen again and don't tell him - it might make you feel better to come clean and be honest about what you've done, but it will needlessly hurt him and he'll never, ever be able to trust you again. You will simply have to live with the guilt (which, in effect, is your punishment). |
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M & M
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I doubt that you will forget that it happened and you better hope he doesn't find out. But if you want to wash your hands clean of it just don't do it and pray like hell he does not find out what you did. |
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love of my life
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yeah, just keep your mouth shut and get over it... i would always be thinking maybe he cheated on me or something, but that is me. good luck with your problem though |
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Alexandra M
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It is possible.. If you TRULY know she/he wont find out, that you love this person + have learnt your lesson + know you'll never do it again.. Then it's worth giving it a try.. I know if my partner cheated on me, just once + truly regretted it.. If he was to stay with me, it would kill me to know.. You'd always risk being finished with.. Plus the trust would be completely gone.. It'll bring out a whole sea of insecurities/mistrust/hurt for your partner. It's easy to forgive, but hard to forget!
Cut ALL ties/connections with the person you cheated with! You owe it to your partner whether they know or not, out of respect!
You need to think to yourself why you did this in the first place + work out that..
Personally I'd be eaten away by guilt.. But I'm a very over sensitive person.. You need to also forgive yourself if you want to move on, otherwise you'll be forever tourtoring yourself + they'll know somethings up.
Just please don't do this again! Cheating is the worst possible thing + it'll liturally tear your partner apart to find out!
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Simply Me
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It's not a question of CAN I move on , it is WILL you move on. The only way to move on is to get rid of any contact with your lover and anything he ever bought you. No phone calls, no e-mails, don't go to your old hangouts to see if he might be there.
The key is NO CONTACT!!!
You'll always have the memories, but they won't be as crushing to you as it will be the spouse of the one you cheated with if they find out.
WALK AWAY!!!
Yes, it's possible to move on but it will take time for the memories to even begin to fade. |
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Aryella and Yannella mom
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i am glad you e coming to your senses . if you really wan tt o then yes it is posiible . just stop all the things you re doing that you know is part of CHEATING and focus on your marriage . good luck |
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king1515us
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it's going to be hard. i suggest you two see a marriage counselor. |
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Priek
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I think there are two schools of thought.
1. put it past you and pretend it never happened.
2. Admit it and actually address the problems in your relationship.
Either way you screwed up and now that you have something to hide, and lie about, your marriage is going to suffer.
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RaceBannonOwnsChuckNorris
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I hope not. Your burden should be to suffer daily for what you did. I'm not saying you should tell him, but forgetting your transgressions would be tantamount to forgiveness of yourself, and risk you committing the same act again, so you can never move on. It would be immoral.
Edit: Another answer is to simply lie and say you no longer want to be with him, and find someone else. |
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openminded
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Sure but dont make the same bad choice again stop being selfish. |
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BabeHeart
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Some people are able to move on, but unless you suffer a brain injury, you will never forget...and if you have a conscience it will tap you from time to time (as it should).
The memory of what you did, and more importantly the guilt afterward (hoping there was plenty) is what motivates one-time cheaters not to cheat again. They feel like crap about themselves, what they did, the people they could've hurt (or did hurt) and so they resolve to be a better, stronger, more self-controlled person and not repeat the behavior.
If you could just forget what you did, what would stop you from doing it again in the future? You have to learn the lesson and remember it, to gain anything useful from the experience...even if the experience was an unfortunate one. |
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Angel
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It can be hard to move on. We are told to be honest and to feel guilt if we are not. The first hing you should be asking yourself is why you cheated in the first place. Did you do it because you felt like you were no longer in love with your spouse. Were you having other problems. Did you feel neglected and so on. Once you can figure out why you did it then ask yourself if you can prevent it from happening again. If there is the slightest doubt then you need to leave so as not to hurt your spouse any more. If you feel that you can live with your spouse and only your spouse then stay. DO NOT TELL HIM. Yes you will live with guilt, see a counselor. Telling him will only hurt him more. Most of all DO NOT CHEAT AGAIN! |
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Billy Voltaire
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Yes you can forget it, bury it in the back of your mind and move on with your marriage. For God's sake don't ever tell him, it will hurt both of you and do no good. You cheated, you were lucky and didn't get caught, now forget about it and have a nice life. |
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Sweet Angel
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you can.....but it will still be in the back of your head that you cheated or that ur spouse. so i guess its up to you if you can take it or not. I know it would be along time before i started dating again if i cheated or got cheated on..... |
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I think I've moved on??!
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i think your guilt would eat you alive after a time being. If you truly love the guy, then I don't think it is possible to move on and not remember what you did every day...
If you cheated on your husband why do you want to stay with him? |
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TR
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U may be able to move on but you will never forgive yourself |
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Anakin
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Move on, yes. Move on with your spouse...I...don't know. It's probably easier to move on without the spouse. Some wounds don't heal or they heal and leave lasting scars. |
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this.*****
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You can't just do what you did and forget about it . . . It is very disturbing that you feel no guilt or remorse. I believe that it is your lack of guilt that is a huge red flag that this marriage is not for you and that you do not love your husband like you should. If you really loved him and meant your vows then a) you would have never cheated and continued to talk to other men and b) you would feel extremely guilty and ashamed of yourself. Since neither of these are true then it is hard for me to believe that this "love" is real. He is obviously not your everything because you are getting stuff from other guys. You need to just get a divorce and not tell him about your indiscretions because that could hurt you in a dirty custody battle. Find the one that you would never want to hurt, find the one that completely satisfies you in every way so that you never venture out. Find yourself and grow as a person. The right person is out there and you will realize that hopefully not too late in your life!! |
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Shine
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I think it is possible but once a trust is broken it is hard to repair. It will take a lot of discipline and honesty. If you two are very strong and love each other, it is very possiable! |
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Yvonne
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Yes, it is possible to move on but you have got to pray to God to forgive you. We all make mistakes, when you repent of your sins and ask him for forgiveness to him it is as if it never happened. But your husband is another story, they always say honesty is the best policy, but you have to be prepared to lose your marriage over it. Telling him could either tear you two apart or eventually bring you together.
I hope you can find peace in your marriage and in your life. |
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lizard
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I think you need a less moralistic answer than those I just read.
1 year ago, my girlfriend cheated on me and I just broke up with her. We came back, i warmed up again and 6 months again she did it. You know they say "first time she is stupid, second time you are stupid." That's how it feels.
Now 1 month ago i suspect something happened, which she denies (as before). She has now turned into honey with me, but the truth is i lost my trust in her, and I dont see how I can move on. Perhaps the first time I could have taken it, even the second time, but this is too much.
Thats for all of you who think only men are cheaters. |
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Caryn M
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Nope, you are just wasting his time. If you were the kind of wife I am sure he thinks you are, you would not have cheated. Its not right not to tell him, if he decides he can forgive you, that is up to him and maybe it can work atfer, but the relationship is based on lies if you dont come clean. It just wrong! |
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Mrs.Estes
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it really depends if you're relationship is mature enough to move past all that. you have to let your spouse know...
what goes around comes around. |
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l_son88
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This is just wrong. How could you ever cheat? What goes around comes around...karma. You might not say anything right now but it will be on your conscience. And eventually your spouse will find out. |
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Liz L
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To really clean your hands, tell you spouse what you've done. Then don't do it again. Talk is cheap, you have to prove it. If you don't tell your spouse, you will never move on because the guilt will eat at you forever. Hopefully your spouse doesn't throw you out, but don't be surprised if he or she does. |
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bellabonita
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i don't think it's fair to move on with your spouse and not be honest about your cheating on them. if you never tell, you are always going to be paranoid that they will somehow find out about what happened. keeping secrets is not good for you or for them.
also by continuing on with your marriage as per usual, you are exposing your spouse to potential STDs you could have picked up from whoever you cheated on them with. if you aren't goig to tell, i at least hope that you will be responsible and go get tested for STDs immediately. condoms don't protect against everything...
but worst of all, you'll be riddled with guilt. if i were your spouse, i would rather have you be honest with me so that we could take the right steps toward moving forward and trying to prevent you from cheating. if you are unhappy in your relationship, either you fix it, or you need to walk away. there is no point in dragging your spouse through any mess that you're going to create by cheating and lying to them. |
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