Cheating? How long is enough?

Grasshopper

once is enough for a wise man. ;)

Lonely Eyes

Look, if you dealt with the fact that he cheated on you, the least he can deal with is you becoming a basket case every now and again because of it. You're hurting inside and you want to protect yourself from feeling that hurt again. He's simply going to have to put up with it until you can finally get over it. But, the truth is that you never truly will. You will always remember. Trust takes years to build up and seconds to break down.

nekiawhitaker

Beem there- Done that. It is worth it only if you and him (together) can move on. It takes time though...It doesnt happen over night.

david42

Trust takes time and effort to develop. Some can never get past the first betrayal. Only you can determine if you can give the person another chance. If so, patience will be needed as well as your partner's efforts to inspire and bolster your feeling of comfort. I wish you well.

jake s

i beleive that he deserves 1 second chance but if you find out he does it agian kick him to the curb. i cant stand cheaters but everyone makes mistakes.

abby

once trust is lost, its really hard to get it back. i know from experience. but if it is really bothering you, if its really ruining the quality of your life and if you're always sad about it, then you should move on. it might hurt but its the only way to stop feeling like crap.

penny

well , the truth is , that once a person in a relationship cheats, it changes the whole dinamic. The trust you had in each other is gone . First of all , the most common denominator is , if he cheated once , heÂ´s most likely to do it again , and even if he doesnÂ´t , how will you know? that will always be in your head , because after that , you donÂ´t feel like yo can trust him anymore. He has to realize that he screwed up big time , and that your present behaviour is a consequence of it , youÂ´re entitled to feel that way. If you really love him , and you feel like no matter what , the relationship still has a future , talk to him , and try to work through it together to make things right again , it will take time to build up , and get to that place in the relationship where you can feel safe , but if he loves you as much as he says , he will understand. Good luck

Bantuknots

Gaining your trust with him is going to take time, so it is normal for you to feel this way. If you still feel uncomfartable then call him on the contact number s you know he is at , everytime this feeling comes up. He should have some understanding . just take it day by day

Kitty

just first time cheating is it for me..i wouldnt go with this whole worrying thing, what is it worth? you are stressing yourself being insecure about him, is he cheating on me?
just end it now before it gets even worse. it is going to be unhealthy for you to constantly worry if he's with another girl.
you seem like you cant take his cheating, and you cant trust him anymore. that seems more than enough to just end it.
im sorry, but good luck!!!

jayjay

Your behavior is normal...he is going to have to work at it more than you, after all, HE is the one who did the wrong doing so you should not be feeling guilty for the way you are feeling AT ALL. It is going to require patience on his part and understanding (isn't this what you did by giving him a second chance?) and if he is not willing to do this for you then he is not the one for you. Three months is a very short period of time to get over what he did to you. Don't second guess yourself, that is the mistake that most woman do and end up getting hurt over and over again. Let him keep trying to make things better and regain your trust and do not feel sorry for him. He was not very sorry when he was cheating on you. Please dont get me wrong, it is not about getting revenge but yes, it is about making it very clear that respect to you is important in this relationship, he crossed those bounderies, so do not be hard on yourself for what you are feeling right now. He is lucky he did not loose you.
Good luck.

irish1269

How long is going to be entirely up to you. when you no longer feel the need to know exactly where he is and what he's doing at all times he will have earned your trust. You don't have to give him or yourself a cutoff date.

â™¥

so do u know for a fact he's out every night doing business? or is that what he tells u? when he cheated the 1st time i think thats when you lost him... move on get good man... keep ur head up...

Violet Pearl

I don't know why you'd care if you lost him- he was doing some other girl a mere 90 days ago. He betrayed you once and most likely will again.

happyha31

Relationships are based on trust and you cannot trust him. Don't worry about losing him, you deserve better.

smokalot70

BLAH!BLAH!BLAH! This cat cheats? Get rid of him like ummmm Yesterday! What is love if you are hurting? It's not fun, it's not smiles and laughs, it's not cuddles and kisses. It's not love. It's O.K. The world is filled with others, and you might find your smile.

Sassy OLD Broad

Two years is a long-term investment in a relationship, isn't it? Ask yourself what your goal will be in the next 5 years and does it include this guy? If the answer is yes, then I would say you two need to have a serious talk about your future together. Perhaps make an official engagement. That would probably bring you a great deal of peace of mind. However, if the answer is "maybe" or "no", just let things ride or find yourself a couple of other male companions to date. Dating doens't mean you're comitted to that person. I suppose your bf thought he wasn't engaged or married, therefore he could sleep with whomever he wanted. I have to say, dear, I do agree with that. By the same token, you're not bound either. If you both agree to take a closer step toward marriage that makes it a little different. But a dating partner should have the right to come and go as they so choose. It's nice to know that you're not living together with kids without some sort of comittment. You're a wise woman. Godloveya.

fullmoonwolf4real

be wary, unless you are ok with his cheating you must lay down the law!

mande

People make mistakes, and deserve to be forgiven - once.
You should tell him that, and you should tell him that you're having these feelings.
It's natural to feel this way, from just the fear of it happening again.
But you have to decide if you feel this way because there's actually fishy things happening that you have doubts about, or if it's just your own fear.
It would be tough to trust someone with a job like that, who has already cheated once.

MRod

How long have you been with him? Is he really worth the anguish. I have been happily married for 8 years, and together for 12 years, I have not ever cheated on him and he has never cheated on me, so there are good guys out there!! As far as I am concerned, once a cheat, always a cheat. You will always have mistrust for him now, no matter how long. There will always be the "????" in the back of your mind

troble # one?

You didn't do nothing wrong,hes trying so hard!!! HE CHEATED are you there...

Janelle

the first second is enough.. kick him to the curb..suggest a movie vidoe by Carrie Underwood "When He Cheats".. she's got the right idea!!

bluedshoxed

1at time of cheating leave them

(((hugs))) Dr. Phil quote: "People who have nothing to hide, hide nothing". It sounds like he is trying his hardest to makes things right again. Is he sincerely sorry?

For you, this is sooooo normal for what you've been through. It hurts, bad. My only suggestion is every time it pops into your head, deliberately turn your thoughts/actions elsewhere. Sorry if this sounds lame but it worked for me. Good luck :-)

shivadevarinti

if he cheated on u screw him.. with a screw..

ciscoroute

Trust is very tough to lose... and here it seems lost. If it can be re-built then that is ok. How likely is it to happen again. Anyone else more loyal sparked your interest lately?

misskisskiss25

I'm sorry to say this but ones a cheat always a cheat i wouldn't trust him if his done it ones whats to say he wont do it the next time he has a wondering eye

B'zzz UP!

you should of got rid of him the second you heard that he cheated on you...he has no respect or diginity for you otherwise he never would of strayed....be the bigger person and leave him...you'll find someone better that loves and respects you.

igotplayedonce

You are not married to him. Dump him with the rest of the trash!

lilgiggle33

You're better off letting him go. Cheaters are repeat offenders, and you have every right not to trust him. This mistrust is normal, and probably won't ever go away. If you're ok with feeling this way for the rest of your relationship, then stick with it, but if not, then it's time to move on. You deserve someone who would never stray. Do yourself a favor and get rid of him, or risk him cheating again. As the saying goes "fool me once shame on me, fool me twice, shame on you" Good luck

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