Child support?

Agnostic Canadian

Lemme know if you figure it out. My dad gets pissed because he pays child support and my mom refuses to buy us new clothes and shoes. Instead, she uses the money to pay for HER bills. I have to buy my own school supplies for Christ's sake!

goldwing

It does in one way or another..rent, food, clothes...I assume your child is well fed, is cared for, has a roof over his head, has medical treatment, has shoes, goes to school, ...what do you think the money goes for? Toys? Get a life, be happy your baby is being cared for and that he/she needs nothing. Stop having negative energy towards your ex, it is harmful to you, is destructive to you, and will harm you child in the long run. Please consider what I have written. Good luck

mommy2x

All I can say is, thank you for paying child support. So many men don't even try to help out. You are good for just doing that. You can't control how she spends it, but just know that you are the better person. If she was a good mother, she would know that it should be spent on the child and she would WANT to use it for that. Hence the name, CHILD support. Good luck to you.

twest

Do your kids use electricity, water, food? Does the car need gas in it to take them places? These are things that child support are also for, not just for toys and things kids want.

Diane the Succubus (PFLAG)

When you pay child support the money goes to your ex-spouse to be placed in her accounts to pay for things such as housing food ect...

If you feel the children are not being cared for appropriately and the money you send is not being spent for the things needed for the day to day raising of the children, you need to contact your local child support enforcement office and learn what your legal recourse is...

However if the children are well cared for and in need of nothing, and all you want is a full dollar by dollar accounting of what the money is spent on, you are insane and controlling... Seek counseling and learn that your ex has no obligation to answer to you..

metblondie222

you chose to have children with her !!!!! she provides a roof over there heads , food in there bellies, what more do you want, I'm owed 17,000 in child support oh yes an my kids come first, if u have major issues call child help services or social services, but hey don't get petty, coz u will look daft xxxxxxx

tonno

you can't. you just need to accept the fact that the money is used for the household your children are in.

karen W

You can't. Once it's ordered paid to the custodial parent, it is literally out of your hands. Most men think that the woman is going to spend the money on herself, but unless you have proof that your child(ren) are not having their basic needs met (food, shelter, education), you have no basis to complain. Think of it in terms that you are helping to make it possible for your kids to live as normal a life as possible. Make sure that you remain in their lives in addition to the money that you are paying. And yes, there will be times when your kids might ask you for something. A dumb a** response would be "I already gave your mom $_____ last week." Man up! You no longer have control over this particular woman. It's all about your kids now, and the sooner you release any bitterness and control issues concerning your ex, the quicker you can heal and become the best dad ever!

crct2004

If she is a mother who you have to worry that she puts herself before her children then you should fight for custody. If she is a good mother, then trust that what she spends the money on is in the best interest of the kids. Some of us have to juggle what gets paid when and with what. If you don't trust her, why do you let her have the kids?

Mike C

I think if the kids are obviously being neglected, ie no new clothes, no food etc. and your ex drives a brand new BMW or something you may be able to go to a judge and fight it, otherwise it's household money and as head of the household, she can do what she wants/needs to do with it.

All child support money doesn't go to the kids, it goes to utilities, food, rent, health insurance, school supplies etc. etc. stuff that is not readily visible to the outside world.

stahomedad.com

Sorry my friend...this is not enforceable. Kinda like sodomy laws! Let it go...concern yourself with the emotional well being of your children. I will say however, if you feel there is a gross negligence on her part...you can hire a private investigator and then once you have proof, an attorney will be more apt to take the case.

one_sera_phim

you can't, sorry dude...

Jen G

Unfortunately you can't

P*Kitty

you cant...the money is given to her to help to support the children whether she spends in on the rent, electric bill or food or even something for her because once she spends her own money to take care of bills( which you are entitled to help her with) she can use the money on whatever she wants...this is just the way it is

Arthur W

The biggest problem with child support is accountability. The courts award child support but dont tell anyone what is to be done with the money. So basically no matter how much you hate it, and want something done, the courts will do nothing, even if you can prove the money is used elsewhere but for the child. Not fair, yes but illegal,no. Your are definitely not the only one feeling this way but right now theres not much you can do.

dusdan3

If you have proof that she is not spending the money on the kids then you need to talk to an attorney but you got to remember this...If she is spending the money to pay bills they will tell you that that is for the welfare of the children.
However if she is taking the money and buying booze and partying with it then you need to do something now and get those kids away from her.
BUT YOU GOT TO HAVE PROOF.
FOLLOW HER AND TAKE PICTURES WHEN YOU KNOW SHE HAS JUST GOTTEN THE CHILD SUPPORT

I don't think that you can. Either way, the woman is going to have more money to spend on the children. Just hope that she does the right thing. If the kids look neglected, then you can speak to the judge, if not, then there is nothing you can do. Woman have the upper hand when it comes to this stuff...

rachel m

u can't there is really nothing u can do about it u have to assume that it is being used on the children. child support is money you have to pay ,chi;d support includes several things, like bills,clothing for the children , food basically anything in the interest of the childrems well being.

KEY

You just have to trust in your heart that she is doing the right thing with the money.

Helen V

well you should have had a child

aaricka

Go back to court and show proof what is going on
Right now she can do anything

cliffy

you can't, you can try to get the court to allow you to buy $XXX in goods every month and give it to her, but the prob is the rent she'll claim.

take it from someone who paid over $10K, let is slide. go out and make more money.

super mummies life

cant enforce that. nothing anyone can do for this. Maybe if you can prove that the money is not getting spent on what it should be maybe you can get the lawyers to agree you pay the bills direct or buy the food or something so you are still giving the kids what they need.

free2chat_tou

not much can be done on how the money is spent, only hope that she will use it properly.

tysgrandma99

get over the bitterness,you job is to pay,not only money,but attention to your children,any time between now and 15 years of age the tables may turn.if your smart sit back and she will bury herself,other then that,moms have a zillion expenses,school,babysitting,cloths,just when you think you will have a few dollars.....they grow another inch,,just sit back and pray there safe,not hungry,not killed by some drunk,and know in your heart you are doing right by your children,,,,,,,

tp3bop

You cannot dictate how the money is spent by her however you might try an alternative to child support that meets state guide lines ie an annuity or something for the child or children

$0.02

you can't chalk it up to the game son.

lisathebestone

well why should u be able to say where the money goes! if there is an order that means u wasn't handling Ur business to begin with and she had to spend all her $$$ on the kids so if she spends all her money on the kids why shouldnt she spend urs on something for her or anyway she wants cuz if u had been handling ur business she could have used her $$ on her and not all on ur kidz...

Hammer

You cant, the law states as long as your child has food,clothing and shelter you cant say how the money is spent......but I feal you man.......I pay child support and quite a bit.......and can you believe she had the nerve to ask if I would buy my childrens school supplies.........

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