Children having children?

Jase

You have done your job as a mother! You wil lnever stop being his mom, but there's not much you can do about it now. I consider talking to him and his girl and sitting them down, look up resources on the web about night classes or something like that. Tell him your concerns. But remember, they may not be his. My mom's dream growing up was to have children. That was it, not a nurse, or being a lawyer, she wanted to be a mom. Yes, my parents struggled when we were young, but we got through and turned into great people. If he and she are happy about this, don't be scared! Realize that you were a good mom, and being a good parent is all that matters to them at this point! If you taught him nothing but how to love a child, you did a great job!

mild_irritant

They should go to college.

That's awfully young.

degendave99

It's sad - can't even legally have a drink, but expected to raise a child...

Moosha

I think you should help him make sure that they both go to college. It's going to be very hard for both of them, but it can be done. Good luck.

dianesomeone

too late now.....just support and help them as much as you can...good luck

Laurellamags

There's nothing you can do but hope for the best. you did what you can do in raising him and when that baby comes, you'll see your baby turn into a man. Maybe not right away, but eventually. He will do what's right for him. and alll you can do is support him.

Dele

its ok, but tell him face to face that you are concerned and you really want him to do well
after that, he can make his own decisions

Mike

I am sure you are a fantastic mother and raised him to be a fine young man. Now its his decision what steps to take

NIck N

Well first of all, it is their life. I know it is not what you had in mind for them. If you taught him about birth control then you did what you needed to do. He is old enough now to be a father, hard as it seems it was their choice to make. All you can do is support them as you can in their decisions in life. Be his mother and don't interfere in his or her life. If College is not in their future then so be it. He can get a job and work like you did to bring up his family. But it is their life and they have to work it out with your help and her family too.

A Girl

hmm..to me when you reach 18 you are officialy an adult.

umm.. well if you feel like you didn't push him hard enough, there is still time!! :)..

you could say, "son, i really am excited and happy for you that you are having a child. BUT, i still want you and your girlfriend to finish college first. I think that would be the best for you and your baby."

jsut be gentle, and subtle with him. you don't wanna tell him what to do, or else he will get pissed at you so much.

discipline him in an understanding and mature, adult matter. i mean, he is 19, right?

justme

we make our mistakes no matter how hard our parents try to push us the right way, just be there when they need you and tell them you will help with the baby if they both continue with their education.

wendyhannan0130

they have to make their own decisions. they have to screw up and succeed on their own terms. i am 32 and had my 1st at 19. i made a thousand mistakes, but no one could have convinced me to make other choices.

Dovie

I think that you just have to let him live his own life, but don't give him a crutch by constantly picking up the slack with baby care and financial help. If he has to learn to live on his own and accept his responsibilities, perhaps he will think twice about having another child in a year or two, thereby sealing his fate and almost certainly keeping him down as far as getting a college degree or a good job.

samwise25

You do the best you can as a parent and then children have their own lives and make choices that are not always good for them,but don't nag him about it you will only push him away.Don't try and get in these long drawn out conversations about it either just simply say i expect you to be a good dad because i raised you that way.I take it if you raised him then his dad wasn't in the picture so i would recommend to him to take a parenting class so he can help himself be a good father.I would suggest that to him also.

sweetgranny06

my daughter had a baby when she was 16 the dad was only 15 but i helped her with her baby now my granddaughter is 20 year's old i did alright helping with my grandchild i took care of my granddaughter while her mom went to school we did ok and you can too

Someone Else

That's scary. I was a wife and mother by 18. I hope to God my children DON'T follow in my footsteps.
As far as not pushing hard enough...one can never really know.

Bella

don't blame yourself. you did what you could, the best you could. you can't control what he does anymore, but you can be there to offer advice. it's his duty to either accept the advice or not. but as long as you tell him that it's hard being a young parent and that he needs to get his act together now more than ever, i think that's the only thing you can do now.

idance!

this isn't a mistake! they can both still go to college- but the child may have to be cared for by someone else while they pursue their education. my freind has a child (she's 18) and she's living with her mom who takes care of the child while she attends college. The father bailed- your son is great for sticking to his responsibilities. you did a good job raising him :-)

bluemoon

Needless to say kids never listen tell its to late.Good luck grandma

drunken_monkey1988

You have to let him make his own mistakes.

Just stay supportive. That is the best thing you can do. Let them know that you care, and they'll be most inclined to listen.

Janine

Hmmm... as long as they are both happy, isn't that the important thing?

They have each another, and well, when you have that you feel like you can overcome any obstacle, and maybe you can. There really isn't anything you can do about it. It sounds like you raised a good son... at least he's taking responsibility, not like most men, who usually run especially when a child is coming in the picture.

Jerko

My parents were also very young, (16 and 18) when I was born. I don't have children of my own, but I think I understand your situation.

The most important thing to remember is that your son is 20 years old. While I agree that he is very much still a child, he made it this far, and much of that would be because you did somewhat of a decent job rearing him.

It won't be easy for him, but he's 20, nothing is impossible at this point. Sometimes a child can help a person grow up and learn responsibility quickly. It's not ideal, but the situation could be far worse.

College isn't for everybody, and in many cases it doesn't hold the key to a better life. If it's something they really want, and you can help them, you should. But there are also plenty of programs, grants, and loans that they will be eligible for. Going to college with a child is not impossible, I have many friends who accomplished it without problems.

You can encourage all you want, but make sure that your desires are in line with his. He may still be your baby, but now he's going to have to be a man.

Stay positive.

itchy.crack i

Ahh, you're son sounds really lucky to have a mum like you. We all want the best for our children, and sometimes that doesn't turn out to be high paying jobs, fancy houses or flash cars. Perhaps, this will be the best thing for him. Try not to worry about what could have been. This baby is happening right now and your family has overnight swelled in size. Be proud, be supportive, like it sounds like you are. I bet even if you could go back and have another stab at your young life as it was you wouldn't want to change a thing. You're going to be a Grandma soon, and it's a name you I'm sure will revel in. I bet even with all your worries about them, I bet there's something in you that can't wait to hold that little babba in your arms eh? Stop worrying and enjoy it. All the best and warm wishes to all of you.

ken j

an education is a top priority because you want the best for your spose and your children should you have any. Kids having kids not good

Mugsy's Place

We always want better for our children, it would be great if they could learn from our mistakes.

I'm sure you did a wonderful job raising him, stop worrying so much. Kids don't come with instructions (although it would be nice if they did, lol).

Our children haven't always made the choices we would have liked them to make either. I think as long as they know how much we love them, and that we will always be there for them, that's all anyone can ask.

Family is important, congratulations on your upcoming grandchild. Things have a way of working out, have a little faith. God bless and good luck.

â€¢â˜…à¹‘ MiSS AnJiNhA à¹‘â˜…â€¢

This is not your fault,things happen and we can't stop them,this was his choice and now he needs to deal with it ,don't be blaming your self OK...

momof2

Tough to say, but it is your son's experience- mistake or not. I think if you have "suggested" what you would do, then you have to respect their right to ignore you. My step-daughter is in an ugly spiral down, but she doesn't see it at 18yrs old. We all have 20/20 hindsight...but the baby is coming, and 20 years from now, they might feel this was the very best thing that could've happened. And it will be hard, together or alone.

j's soon to be mommy

My husband and I are both 21- working full-time, and full-time students. I plan on taking a semester off when I have the baby and then return and funish school going part-time. My husband on the other had will continue to go to school. It sounds hard, but its possible. Just because he's having a baby doens't mean that he'll stop going or that he won't go back after some much needed time off (even students w/out kids sometimes need breaks). Just be patient and let him decide for himself.

sunbun

let go mom--they are both adults...let them live their own lives

xoxo

listen, I know from experience. Step back before you screw up your chances at being a part of your future grandchilds life. you need to let your son live his own life. Whatever you do don't alienate the girlfriend or your forever lost to your son.

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