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Deejaysmomma
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I don't feel that u should be hurt by it, being as it was so long ago, it's said and done, and hasn't changed anything in tha present. Though, i can understand how u will see him different. If he is a christian, he should have veered from a place like this, however, at tha end of tha day, he's tha 1 who needs 2 repent 4 this. Just give him ur forgiveness.
** I personally feel like ppl who aren't serious about religion or christianity shouldn't have answered this question because it's apparent that you don't understand. |
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Garth
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Are you christian? If you are then you are pretty much required to forgive him. |
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jersey girl in exile
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Get over it. |
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a little concerned
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he went to a strip club twice in his life? and both times it was for a bachelor party?
BIG DEAL
He's fine, actually he's better than fine, he's normal. |
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Rachel R
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Well its not that big of a deal, no one is perfect and its not like he goes every thursday night and has been keeping it from you. It was only twice and with logical reasonings, you have to have a little fun once and a while. |
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Beatngu
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Look at the bright side... He told you. You didn't have to find out or hear from someone else... Now, has he ever stated that he has never been? If you've asked that question and he lied, then you have the right to be upset, that he lied. Did he lie about the bachelor party? Or did he just not fill you in when you asked what he did...
My questions are just did he lie to you about any of it... Because lies cause pain and trust issues... Faith can be lost.
As far as Christian husband... we are all human. I'm sure you're not a perfect Christian, because there has only been one in history that has been... Jesus Christ. He lead by example. So, if your husband isn't going out every weekend to them... getting you into debt over them... I would just say forgive and forget. Ask specific questions (if you didn't the first time around) and go from there. Just explain that you would hope he could be honest with his wife of all people. |
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!@#$$
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Christian or non christian. He is what God created and he is a MAN!!!!!
Honey please, you need to worry about something else.
Mabey you should bring the strip club scene in your bedroom. God never said being exciting and freaky with your husband was a sin.
He did say that you are to make him happy. So make him happy.
One more thing, be happy he is still looking at women and not men, then you would have a reason to post silly shyt like this. |
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Mean Carleen
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Before he is a christian, he is a man. Unless he fornicated WHAT is your problem. I am so sure your marriage has many more important issues that need addressing than this non-issue. |
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flagger
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How truly vile and disgusting he must be.
How can you possibly consider staying with him another day.
You have been married for 8 years and the worst that he has done?
Set your hurt feelings aside and grow up.
You mean that there is NOTHING which you have not told him regarding your past activities? If so, what convent did you live in before?
My best advice to you take the chip off your shoulder and count your blessings that your husband shows this much character.
Oh, and grow up already. |
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Arcare
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I understand why you're so hurt, but also try to think it from the husband's side. Maybe he was too ashamed of it to tell you, afraid to lose your love. You have been married for 8 years; you know him |
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KingAndrew
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I'm afraid that your over reacting sweetie. Your husband has asked forgiveness for his actions and you should accept him as a good Christian wife. It may appear to you that what he did was wrong, but it was harmless. Just pray for your own thoughts and anger. |
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Shell
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Even if your husband is a Christian, he is still human and not perfect. If he were perfect he wouldnt need God would he? Temptation comes to all of us and I am sure you are not totally blamless in the choices you make. Remember. A sin is a sin, none better or worse then the other. You have been married 8 years, people make mistakes, let the past be the past and look into the future. I am sure he has been carrying this guilt with him for all those years. That is punishment enough. Let it go and be understanding. |
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rat_race_ditcher
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if this is the only problem you have with your Husband you need to go give him a big hug and tell him you love him.
There are MANY other things you should worry about then some silly strip club.
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Barbequed Waffle
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If you are a Christian =, then don't come here for the answer - it will be a wrong answer. You need to go to a Bible-believing pastor or counselor. |
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Lady Domina
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Funny thing. the places where you have the most number of strip clubs per capita is the bible belt.
LD |
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Valerie X Account #15- Awesome!
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Stone HIM!!!!!
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Stephen K
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Poor he. He is trapped by your hypocrite expectations, and know he is blackmailed to feel guilty. |
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EquestrianKW
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It has been so long now, he committed a sin. You need to call focus on the family they will council you over the phone for free. Otherwise, you need to consider see another Christian Councilor. You need to know if he has asked God for forgiveness with this sin. He did something that hurt you. You two need to majorly involve God in this. My parents almost got divorced when I was younger and all that I have said is what they have taught me for my future. They have been married 18 years now. When you two have everything worked out and have moved on then you two need to promise eachother to NEVER EVER bring it up again. Because out of anger in a future little argument would reopen the wounds and enganger your marriage. Please find maybe a Christian bible study group. You need to get involved with some other married Christian couples. It makes a world of difference. You can share your story with them and they will offer advice. I hope all works out. |
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♥ ♥HONESTY RULES♥♥
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SO NOT AN ISSUE!
Seriously get over it. It could be way worse. It was a long time ago also. Just be thankful that he is HUMAN.
It may make you feel better to go with him. It's actually really fun;) |
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Jai
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So what's the big all men need to have an outlet for themselves. |
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melouofs
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This was years ago, he really did nothing wrong, and it's still bothering him enough he felt the need to tell you about it. I'm quite sure you aren't perfect either. Please praise him for being so honest with you and realize you have a good man there. |
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Scion
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Why are Christians always so judgemental the bible say's don't judge for with the same measurement that you judge you will be judged.
What you need to do is ask him if he has a problem and as a wife your role is that of a helpmate, so help him don't judge him. Also it sounds like you are a little bit insecure... you both should see a marriage counselor if you think this can delvelop into other things. |
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Marina
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News flash...Christians go to strip clubs. This happend four years ago....why punish him for it? Tell him how you feel about it, and tell him it's not acceptable to you for him to go again.
I hate strip clubs. Thankfully, my husband has no use for them, and on the other side of it, I have no use for them either. The only person that should be stripping for and teasing my husband is me. |
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Natalie
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1st: do you love him? Does he treat you & your family well & make you happy?
Then what's the big deal?
Why are you hurt? Really think about it, maybe make a list. I would be hurt about being lied to, but he only did this to protect your feelings. . .
Bachelor parties are usually the worst customers at strip clubs. They go because it's one of those things you do, not because they actually want to go. They usually don't spend any money, enjoy a free show, & waste the girls' time.
I am well aware that my bf notices a pretty girl, even I can tell when a girl's attractive. I encourage him to go with his friends, although the plans fell through.
I don't care if he sees a woman naked, or even thinks she is attractive. He is with me because he loves me & we make each other happy.
My bf would never even try to pay for anything extra, and most dancers don't do that.
Your hubby is still a wonderful christian. Why would Gd punish him for appreciated his creations?
Tell your bf why you feel hurt, don't use accusatory phrases!. Say I feel (blank) because (blank).
ex: I feel like you're not the Christian I thought you were because you went to a strip club. (Don't say: you're not the christian I thought - puts him on the defensive & attacks him). . . Honestly though, do you think going to a strip club twice (and for bachelor parties!) changes who he is that dramatically? He is still the good man he has always been. . .
ex: I feel hurt that you lied to me, although I can see how you could have been trying to protect my feelings.
Your hubby told you because he doesn't want to keep things from you - that's good.
Would you sabotage your marriage & happy life because your hubby went to a strip club for bachelor parties (almost a right of passage)?
Take a walk outside, get fresh air, & let yourself really feel your emotions. Feel your hurt & frustration so you can let it go.
Honestly, write out your emotions. It will organize your thoughts, which will prepare you to have a conversation with your hubby, you will become aware of what is really bothering you about it, & it will help you overcome your hurt. |
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Michael C
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well I'm a Christian man who is with a Christian woman and we go together...and have a great time. What's a Christain anyway?? Isn't it someone who believes Christ died for their sins? Is it not a Christian value to not judge others...lest ye be judged?? Honestly I find your use of the term Christian in reference to both condemning and judging the actions of another offensive...sounds like what you meant to say is your (insert your orthodox religion here) husband did.......in which case I'd probably tell you to lighten up like most of the others. |
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Sabrina K
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Let the passed be the passed, tell him that your glad it came out but you don't appreciate it. |
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ann
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so being Christian means your a saint. Pathetic. who cares if he did 2 days ago your so called "christian husband probably does alot you dont know about. trust me im always the other women. |
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thewifey
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Since he is christian, he just went with the guys. He must have been feeling guilty all these years and it finally got to him AND he has to tell you to repent his ways. he probibly did not even no that the party was going to end there. it's really no big deal. I have gone to strip clubs with my hubby and they don't pay ANT attention to you unless you are waving money around and it cost MONEY to do anthing!!! he was probibly sitting around laughing at all the other dumb buts who trhow their moeny at girls who could care less about them. but seriously, don't sweat it. tell him you FORGIVE him, because thats what the bible says you should do, and then set limits whenever he goes out with the guys. |
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matzldy
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Your husband didn't do anything wrong. The information he kept from you was with good reason at the time he did it. It shouldn't have been a big deal, but he knew that you would probably be upset. All couples have things in their past that isn't that big a deal in their minds and aren't worth sharing with the one they love. Don't be angry with him. Love him for being human. |
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