Cold Feet before marriage?

Anya

Neither of us had cold feet so I can't answer those, however I can share what I think is going on. I think you guys need to find out what exactly you are fighting and disagreeing about. Is it the wedding only, or things to do with it? Or, is it other things, such as life after marriage, finances, work, etc??

There is definitely pressure before a wedding, and while I can't say if you are right or not right for each other, a good sign of how well your marriage will work out, is how well you handle this pressure. There is the typical wedding related stuff to worry about, and this is where I think many people just go overboard. You want your wedding day to be a wonderful day. But many just focus on that one day, vs. the rest of their lives. It is important not to get too caught up in the planning and doing too much.

But if you are already arguing about other things, then you should probably seek counseling to figure out what is going on. Up to the time when you got engaged, you were just a dating couple, most likely having fun and going out a lot, and not discussing the realities of day-to-day life. Now, it's coming and it's coming fast, and maybe you're not prepared. That's okay, no one really ever is....but the key to making your marriage work is finding out what it is you are arguing about and working on it. If you really feel, though, as if you are truly getting cold feet because he just isn't the right one for you, now is the time to speak up. Good luck!!!

P1 Rubber Ducky

1. How strong were these feelings?.................my feeling for him were stronger than my feeling of cold feet

2. Did you both have them, or just one person?.......we both had them

3. Did you still get married? .........yes we still got married

4. Are you still married, and for how long?...yes 3 yrs

5. If you are still married, are you happy?..........yes we are happy

the good times should out way the bad. there is a difference between not being ready to get married and having cold feet

cold feet--just wondering if your doing the right thing (but deep down you know you are)

not being ready to get married-- maturity as a lot to do with weather or not you are ready to get married.

when your married your not just playing house. your making a life long commitment to be honest, respectful, trusting of this other person. your makeing a choice to share your life with them.

but most of all you have to be understand that neither of you is perfict that you are going to have disagreements and that arguements come with the teritory sometimes.

but at the end of the day you look at them and realize that you love them with all your heart and dont want to live without them

thats the difference between cold feet and not being ready
(sorry for my tanget but hey you asked for my advice)

hope i helped

mab5096

First I'll answer your questions:
1. I had "cold feet" and even broke the engagement once.
2. I had them, he didn't
3. Yes, we married
4. We were married for 12 years (would have been shorter if not for the children...I kept trying to make it work)
5. I'm happily divorced, but don't regret the marraige because of our two wonderful sons
Now my advice...
If you have any doubts, postpone!

KellyR

engagement time is a stressful time. woman get stressed with all the wedding planning, and we all know when woman aren't happy their men arent happy. my husband and i argued alot up until the day we got married. we were never like that before and we just kept saying to ourselves if we can just get through this time we'll be alright. neither one of us really had cold feet. i was alittle nervous but it went away when i thought of the alternative of not being married to him. my husband on the other hand is the kinda guy when his mind is made up he never changes his mind. my husband only got nervous right before the ceremony and it only lasted until he took his place at the end of the alter. after the honeymoon we argued alittle. just adjusting to being married and kinda the sense of being stuck together set in. but now we've been married 6months and we say its like having a slumber party everynight. of course theirs hard times but overall its fun and i couldnt imagine sharing my life with anyone else. we even lived together 1 1/2yrs before marriage and i thought we had gotten use to being together before.. boy was i wrong. when you just live together you know you can still just pack up your stuff and move on. but when your married its not that easy. the best advice i can give you is to think about your whole relationship and ask yourself the big question. "what scares you more..picturing life WITH your fiance FOREVER? or picturing your life WITHOUT your fiance FOREVER?

Johan W

1. fairly strong. was very worried.
2. We both had some, but I was worse.
3. Yes
4. Yes (16yrs), but hanging by a thread. She's cheated on me a few times now, and I think she's really absolutely insane.
5. No. I want to go back in time and punch myself in the grill for even considering marrying this pig.

â™¥HisBabygirl?â™¥

Bad sign when the going gets tough and you argue. If life didn't deal downs you would be fine. But this seems like a mistake if you marry.

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