Controlling Husband?

blueberry

get away fast and report him don't worry i doubt he can take your daughter away from you but leave very very soon he's crazy please leave

ranger_822nd

RUN RUN RUN - as fast as you can - get out now before he beats the hell out of you -
get out of town - don't stay anywhere near him -
bail out while your still breathing

Grizzly Adams

Ahh... time to call the cops. At least take the baby and RUN!!!!!!

justakiss62

Why did you ever marry the guy? Too late to dwell now.

Run don't walk to your nearest shelter and get a restraining order put on this guy....he is not controlling he is a rapist and rape is a crime.

They are places to help you....it will not get better leave and get counseling to keep this from happening again.

â™«â™ª~â™¥ Golden Lover â™¥~â™ªâ™«

You said it. Leave when he's not home. Pack up the kid and yourself and go to your parents house. Call the police and notify them of a potential hostile situation. He doesn't love you. You don't treat someone like that if you love them. Leave. Now. Good luck.

manmanMAN!!

He keeps you at home all the time so you cant figure out that he is cheating on you. GET THE HELL OUT...LIKE FAST!!! YOU CAN GO TO WOMENS SHELTERS. IF YOU HAVE A BIG BROTHER CALL HIM AND THE POLICE

Shell

you need to get out of that house now! This is so sad, i was in a horrible relationship for 3 years and he was the same way, putting holes in the wall and hitting me. Do you want to live like this for the rest of your life, do you want your baby to grow up like this. You have to think of your baby first, you are the mother and you are to protect her from anything that comes your way....so you both need to get out of there....call someone, not your mom and dad because he knows where they live but go to an old friends house and explain the situation or ask your parents for money and stay at a hotel. If i were you i would do that, then call the cops and get a restraning order against him. Every girl deserves to be treated like a princess and your NOT! You and your baby deserve to be in a safe, loving home. I went threw this long enough and i finally got the courage to get out, and ive never been happier!
good luck

DoubleD

Tell anyone and everyone what's going on. Call Oprah for help if you have to. Take pictures of all marks everytime. Put hidden cameras in the house. Nevermind, just get out and far from him. He won't stop until you are dead.

Topfy x

It is wrong for him to act like that and you need to get out of that marriage now.

http://www.womensaid.org.uk/
http://www.wdvh.org.uk/
these two sites should help you, because you need to leave him.

Please do know that you're not alone, and he had no right to do any of these things to you.
You should tell a friend or your parents, and they can help you leave him.

Please tell me how this works out.
Best of luck to you
xx

PS. he is a rapist. Do you really think the courts will let him take your baby? Of course they won't. And afterwards its your decision to let him see the baby or not. Just get out of the marriage NOW.

Misty P

I think you already know what you need to do. Get out before his violence escalates into something worse than it already is. Contact your family or old friends for help and arrange a time to move you and your child out while he is at work. (use a pay phone if he checks your calls.) Make sure he doesn't know where you're going and make sure you have plenty of help to get the job done quickly. Whatever you do, DO NOT take him back once you're out. If you do, he will make sure you pay for leaving. When he comes crying back to you saying that everything will be different and he'll never hurt you, just remember how bad it has been and can be.

Annabella

We all know someone who knows someone (wink).

â™¥ â™¥HONESTY RULESâ™¥â™¥

You need to get help from your family and leave. He sounds like a total psyco! Call the police, take your baby and GO! YOu should have titled your question Abusive Husband, because that is what he is. Controlling means something totally different. Good luck

He can't take your daughter if you can prove that he is a psyco. It shouldn't be hard, he's so blatant about it

jemmamomma

How about you start with filing a police report. I can't believe your parents didn't when he punched a hole in their wall. Then go on to a restraining order. There's a baby to think about here.

ladyblaster5

Please GET OUT! I was once in your shoes (preg. at 16, dropped out of school) He was great while we dated. (But looking back there was some jealousy issues that I ignored.)
My life of abuse started 2 days after we got married. I've heard all the I'm sorry's, I'll never do it again, or I'll kill myself with out you. Well guess what I am still with him 23 years later.
Still don't have a career, friends, my own money etc. People can quote the statics but I am living the statics. I have 3 children (23, 18, 15) they all have seen and heard things kids should never have to experience. And now I am seeing signs of emotional problems for them. I stayed because of the kids, but now I cry often because of the mental abuse I didn't realize they were living through. To be honest my husband has not hit me in quite sometime but he verbally abuses me almost daily. I have ask God what I did that was so bad to deserve this life, and I'm still waiting on the answer. I've reached a point in my life that I am so tired.(Physically and Mentally.) and I'm only 40. So please Get Out for yourself and your baby!

flameinpueblo

These questions alway give me chills........I am you a few years ago.....You can not change him.....you can keep yourself and your child safe.......if he stabs himself not your fault......You need to leave I know you are thinking about not leaving....but once you are out and safe and in counciling you will see you stayed to long.....there are wonderful people in this world and they will help....don't go to your family or friends he will find you go to a safe house there are many........I thought I was past this then about 3 years ago my neighbor got shot to death by her boyfriend scared me so bad that I went back into counciling and now realize how badly I was messed up to put up with so much....I know running is scary but not nearly as bad as dieing.....your baby needs you and that should be the thing that will help you run.......I really hope you are not reading this but running......but if you are reading this know you are not alone......but go......PLEASE!!!!

bornagainbrat

I have been where you are and it was hard to leave. My husband had me convinced he would get custody of our son but he was wrong. I went to a safe house and was able to get welfare until I could find a job. They told me that whoever has physical custody of the child when separation papers were filed would maintain custody unless the other could prove them unfit. It sounds like you already know but just in case you don't; he will get more abusive as years go by and if he will rape you I would not want my daughter any where near him. I stayed for 13 years, please don't make the same mistake. My prayers are with you. God bless.

slenge buss

Running away with no job wont help u, get some more education, get a job and then u can think of leaving if he persist but at least get something that will promote a better future for u and ur baby since u don't work right now, if u left him, chances are that u will be back because no one will be willing to support u and the baby for too long and while u are at it, try to gather some evidence that he is being abusive to u so that way he wont have much advantage over u in the fight for child custody.

All the best.

~Only human~

He's gone past being controlling, there is No Excuse for Battering, violent behavior, Rape,or Abuse!

When HE is at work or away:

1.) Do not tell anyone not even in confidence they will only break down and give into his demands to find you.

**First and foremost locate a place you can stay for an extended time! Your children can be safe during summer vacation if school is in he has a parent has a right to pick them up from school. Got to a Relative he does not know, cheap apartment, or a center for battered women.

2.) Transfer accounts or gather anything of value or of personal importance to you [pictures, money, etc.] box up and or bag.
3.) Call a Taxi and have him or her help you carry your posession to the trunk and get out of there!
4.) Same day immediately Make an official abuse report, with the cops, or nothing will hold up in court.
5.) File a Restraining Order!!
6.) Seperate from him, for not only for you but for your children's sake, till you can resolve his behavior follow the the following counsel.

Put simply, beating one's mate is a gross sin in God's eyes. In his Word, the Bible, we read: "Husbands ought to be loving their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself, for no man ever hated his own flesh; but he feeds and cherishes it, as the Christ also does the congregation."â€”Ephesians 5:28, 29.

The Bible long ago foretold that during "the last days" of this system of things, many would be "abusive," with "no natural affection," and "fierce." (2 Timothy 3:1-3; The New English Bible) The prevalence of spouse abuse is simply another indication that we are living in the very time period designated by this prophecy. But what can be done to support victims of physical abuse? Is there any hope that batterers can change their course of behavior? Read the following articles and find help quick before it's too late!

Can violent men change their behavior? Some have. Usually, however, a batterer will not change unless he (1) admits that his conduct is improper, (2) wants to change his course, and (3) seeks help.

Many interested ones who study the Bible with them have developed a strong desire to please God. Concerning Jehovah God, these new Bible students learn that "anyone loving violence His soul certainly hates." (Psalm 11:5) Of course, for a batterer to change his behavior involves more than not hitting. It also entails learning a whole new attitude toward his wife.

When a man gains knowledge of God, he learns to view his wife not as a servant but as a "helper" and not as inferior but as one to be 'honored.' (Genesis 2:18; 1 Peter 3:7) He also learns compassion and the need to listen to his wife's viewpoint. (Genesis 21:12; Ecclesiastes 4:1) The program of Bible study that Jehovah's Witnesses offer has helped many couples. There is no room for a despot, tyrant, or bully in the Christian family.â€”Ephesians 5:25, 28, 29.

"The word of God is alive and exerts power." (Hebrews 4:12) Thus, the wisdom contained in the Bible can help couples to analyze the problems they face and give them the courage to deal with them. More than that, the Bible contains the sure and comforting hope of seeing a world without violence when Jehovah's heavenly King rules over all obedient mankind. The Bible says: "He will deliver the poor one crying for help, also the afflicted one and whoever has no helper. From oppression and from violence he will redeem their soul."â€”Psalm 72:12, 14.

I hope that you find peace and security soon, and that these articles are of help to you!

kags1234

I am sorry that you didn't see this coming. Your first clue should have been when he made you drop all of your friends. You cannot honestly believe that he loves you. There is a difference between love and obsession. The best thing you can do for yourself and your daughter is to pack all of your clothes while he is working and leave and NEVER look back. Call the police and get an order of protection. Yes, he has rights as her father but the most he will get is visitation and if you can prove he is violent he might not even get that. Help yourself before he really hurts you.

Nancy M.

I use to live much the same way that you do. I went through it for 25 years and had three children who were abused. I was told by a counselor that I would live like I did for the rest of my life if I did not get a divorce. We were finally divorced after my children were grown. Thank God for that. I still regret staying for all those years and being miserable. This is a number that I found in my phone book and please call it. If you can go to a pay phone or call when your husband is not at home. Battered Woman/Domestic Violence Hotline-1-800-334-2836. I also went to a shelter for a week. They are a big help and will give encouragement to get out.

gemlover24

i know that if you do not get OUT....you will be dead....or on the front pages of newspaper like the Peterson girl...missing
make a plan...call1 800 799 -SAFE. national hot-line...
leave out with your life....nothing is more important.
good luck.

xAbix

1st of all stop bein scared! He may smash things and punch holes in the wall but leave now and before its you he's doing it 2! Items can always b replaced/ repaired you may not always b able 2! he nos he's got u scared and that u'd do ne thing he said! i no how u feel my x partner was very controllin and they are very munipilative in the way they cut u off from the rest of the world without u realisin but when you do wake up and smell the roses its already 2 late! Be brave for your daughter if not yourself and get her out of this situation and get the hell away from him! he isnt going 2 hurt himself its just a threat! please dpnt put up with this ant longer and leave whilst he's at work and regain ur life again like i ave!

Lil' Slim Kim

go to a womens shelter (they're better than you think) they'll help you find housing from there, get a restraining order, go to court and insist he recieve supervised visitation with your daughter,. press charges everytime he violates order. hopefully he'll stop bothering you after you have shown him your not going to take his sh*** anymore and he's tired of going to jail.

LoveToAnswer

I would tell you to leave him, but that's not my job. When you get fed up enough and tired of his crap, you'll leave. Won't no one have to make that decision for you, but I do advise for you to get help. You have to get sick and tired of being sick and tired!

â™¥

Czarkeri

well ....first of all he DOESN'T love you...no one could do any of those things to someone they love. unless they are demented. and in that case...you need to escape asap. think about your child. you need to get a backbone and call a help line or the cops...something. go to your parents house if at all possible. get a restraining order, a job, and a lawyer.

psa1002

Honey, you gotta take the baby and leave and never come back. I was in a marriage like this too. After 3 yrs. and many broken bones and burns and stab wounds, I called my mom and dad to come and get me.

If you can't call your parents, go to a neighbors house while he's at work and call a shelter. Go to the shelter with your child and never look back.

The safety of you and your child is what's the most important. If he breaks stuff, stuff can be replaced. Take the necessary items for you and your child and GO NOW!!!

noseworthy2007

call the cops

Maggie G

Get out of this situation immediatelly!!! I lived through it in my own family. My uncle married a girl my age so that he could control her in much the same ways you're describing. She put up with it for a while, I think she even may have been flattered by it at first, and they had 2 boys. Eventually things got so bad, she divorced him and because she had no one to turn to (he has isolated her from everyone) she left him the house and sole custody of the boys. She had a nervous breakdown, no work experience and stole money to support herself. Almost right away she ended up in prison. She doesn't see the kids at all. The boys are now 13 and 16, terribly depressed and my uncle is and alcoholic with a revolving bedroom door. You really need help right away. You will not be able to do this on your own, because you have already shown you can't think clearly when it comes to this guy or you would have not married him. I would start by contacting a women's shelter--they have lots of experience in this kind of thing and get your family involved.

the *****

call a woman's shelter if you are able to...you need to get out fast if he has hurt you this badly just imagine when your baby gets older what he could do to the baby...you need to call someone to get you and the baby out of there fast and then go straight to a court to get a restraining order. If you document everything that has happened there will be little chance that he will get unsupervised visits with the baby. What would happen to your poor baby should he actually kill you?

kbandgeek

Sounds to me like you have a really bad marriage... My parents left each other a long time ago. My dad was always angry, that's why my mom left him. He was like how you described your husband, he punched the wall all the time, broke stuff, etc. If it's really serious, divorse him asap. It's scary, especially because you have a baby. Talk to his parents first, without letting him know, he'll get pissed. Talk to him about what you want, but make sure you don't sound controlling too. If he gets mad, tell him that you can't take it anymore, that marriage is suppose to be something happy. Get a divorse even though it would be hard. Also, if he hurts you one more time, call the police and leave no matter what. Please don't be one of those girls that keep getting abused and when people try to help all she says is "but I loooove him." Those are stupid people, don't be one of them. Do the best thing for you and your baby.

Now What?!!

When you get tired you will stop making excuses and leave him.

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: