Controlling Wife?

kevina p

Hi, There should be no problem at all your brother going to football with you on a Saturday, she must be very selfish. I REALLY dislike controlling spouses you have to have your own life as well as life with your family she must be very insecure and jealous. Yes she has young children (and maybe she has post natal depression) but she has help when you and your brother go to football so there should not be a problem, if he gives into her she will not stop there, she will stop him from doing other things as well. Tell him to just sit down with her and tell her how much he loves her and the children but it does him a world of good going to football, instead of being in the home 24/7. Why dosent he tell her to go out for a few hours so she can have a break from household chores during the week? Good Luck.

wondering

What does he do the other 162 hours in the week? Is he not helping her at all? The other question is... what does he do at football for those six hours? Does he come home drunk and acting like a fool? If any of this is true, that could be why she is giving him such a hard time.

rosie

how partially is partially and does his wife work outside the home?

edit - in that case he should go

one day a week...........she should shut up!

smurfette_ftwayne

no he has the right to go , shes not his mother, i don't know why people think they have the right to control the other, he enjoys football its once a week i don't think hes neglecting his responsibilities ,that's his time to himself

Paul S

the *****! he has every right to have some time to himself as does she. not her fault if she dont have any thing to do with her friends.

your bro could do worse like be in the pub every night, beat her, abuse the kids etc.... but no, he goes to footy with you. hardly a crime.

samwise25

she needs to back off and let him have his time.I am a stay home mom and I need my time to myself so I would never deprive my husband of his time.If he says I am going to play golf or go to the shop and hang out I say ok no problem.That way I can go as I please as well.Just because people get married doesn't mean they throw everything else in life away.Everyone needs friends and time alone no matter if they are married with kids or not.

batmango66

Tough question, Sounds like she is mad because she doesnt have the control she wants over him. He should tell her to piss off and ask her what is it that she wants , and why.

Maphondo

Controlling freak she is.

Live_For_Today

It is very healthy for both married partners to develop an interest that they are passionate about, outside of their relationship. This gives both partners something to talk about to the other and this keeps the communication going within the relationship. So no he shouldn't give up his football for the sake of his wife and children. I'm sure they will survive without him, for just that 6 hours.

American Beauty

There's nothing wrong with him enjoying the game with you. Controlling wives see themselves as the jail warden, rather than the loving wife. She must approve of every breath the man takes; and whenever he breathes without her consent, she punishes him with a guilt trip for staying alive. Your brother needs to stand his ground and go to the games. The 6 hours he's away are only a problem because he's taking a few more breaths on his own. No doubt, he should do it more often. Best wishes to you and him. GO BROWNS!

Jules

That is a tough one. I can see that family is important and since you only see him once a week I can't see why that is an issue. What might be going on is everyday he is doing something different and his wife is upset that he's not at home at all. But if he is home and he just spends that one day with you then he should talk to his wife and say well I just have this one day with my brother and maybe you should have one day with your friends or a family member to go out somewhere.

daydreamer

He should use his wife as the football.Hee hee.

Another Planet

Does it bother him at all? Maybe you as the outsider sees the situation differently.He's probably quiet happy with his life.
If not then he has to stand up to her & say that he is untitled to a bit of space of his own.He may need to offer to have the kids once a week so she can have some space too.She may feel trapped herself & is jealous that he can have time out & she can't.

sammie

This is only my opion .. i believe in order to have a healthy relationship there needs to be personal space and this should be a regular thing...

Maybe she feels left out ... or jealous of the relationship .....

If they spend 24/7 together then it will be tense . .everyone needs me time and maybe she resents not having any ..

maybe he could suggest having the kids on a Sunday for a few hours that way she gets quality time on her own and everyone is happy

Mum of1

May i ask who working here, if the wife is working, maybe she needs time out also... i believe ur brother is intiled to his 6hrs space time away a week also but also the wife needs her time on her own..

maybe if u called around once week and help ur brother look after the kids and leave the wife have 6hrs to herself also might help things there...

but also if the wife only gave birth 3mts ago she might have post natal depression, so make sure her health is looked after and she is sent to the doctors also to be checked out, this could be the problem under neath it all, she is depressed after given birth....

al the best to u all

Top Alpha Wolf

He needs to talk to his wife and sort this thing out. Perhaps the wife feels that she should have some free time like that too and may feel overburdened. Even if she does attend match day, that's not the same as her getting to go out and do something by herself FOR herself.

Have your friend make a compromise with her. He gets his 6 hours while she takes care of kids and house, she gets her 6 hours alone while he takes care of the kids and house. They should also set aside some time for just the two of them. Everyone needs a little freedom sometimes, but couples should make sure to reconnect once in a while to keep the romance in the marriage strong.

Nora C

She is probably angry with you, not her husband. Being partially disabled, she is just being protective of him.
Next time, take her and the kids along.

getmymackon

No honey, what is wrong is that he is still married to her!

Purdycat

He deserves a break from his family and should be allowed to enjoy himself, his wife is just being selfish.

CHARLES F

If you put the answers from "Wandering" and "Rosie" together i cant think of a better answer they said it all.

gdovhull

I dont see a problem with six hours a week as long as he is looking after the children when he is not at football. It sounds like his wife is very controlling. Does he love her still or does he now hate her? Normally he would leave his wife but there are kids involved. Try to help them get along and work things out for the kids benefit. If he feels he can't live with her anymore tohugh the inevitable will happen.
Better he leaves and sorts something out with the kids instead of tons of arguments while they are growing up.

basbleu37

She is probably resentful because she never gets to go out and get away from the kids for a few hours. He should offer to watch the kids once a week for her. This would be a great compromise. Each person gets their own time. Maybe if she got away from it all for a few hours, she would be happier and more understanding.

Kaybee

No it's not wrong for him to go out at all, for any length of time. As long as they are provided for, whats her problem?

She must have known he liked football before they got together. Silly moo. Tell him to just go to the match and sod her. Let her moan. Buy him some ear plugs, poor fella.

I wouldn't class her as controlling, just insecure really.

Perfectionist

sounds like she needs help but the point is how can your borther face up his repsonsibilties when he needs help for his disabilities himself

Jaime L

Please know this is not an easy fix. Your brother is in for a rude awakening. It really does not matter if you are right and he is right. The only one right about this in her eyes is her. Men are wired differently than women. We see it as a hobby, or something to do. They see it as a way not to be with them. Six hours out of the weekend are not at all too many, but maybe if he also spends time doing other things at home also may be hurting his chance to go out with you. The strategy is to be helpful when he is there, and try reach some compromise with his wife. That me be the only thing. Beware though she probably hates that he even wants to do this, and probably even hates that he does. If she does she probably associates you with this problem, so try to be tactful.
I now this is hard at best, but if it continues they both may end up hurting their marriage.

Good luck

Emptiness

He needs to tell his wife that you are just as much family as his kids. He needs to spend some time with you to and football does not last 12 months out of the year. She gets to spend time with her family.
If she don't like it she can just get over it cause he needs to get away from the kids & wife sometimes so he can have a chance to miss them and apprecate what he does have.

NONAME

I were him I'd SLAP THAT B**** for giving me hell just because I have a life.

hard rock girl

I'm a female and I don't think once a week is too terrible. I know I look forward to tuesday nights when I can go bowling. That isn't 6 hours, but it is time away...time to be with friends. I'm raising my husbands kids. He is ALWAYS outside...I think our grass gets cut 3 times a week...not because it needs it...because he can't stand being around his own kids. His ex wife doesn't even want to take them for the weekend any more. She just takes them for about 4 hours a week. So wheather he is outside or 10 miles away...he still isn't helping me with HIS kids. I just learned that when I put the ring on...they became my job. If anything she is probably jealous that she doesn't have a friend to do a weekly thing with. :)

Jenny W

I don't see a problem with your brother going out once a week. He has a life too.

miss_haley1013

The man needs some freetime with his brother. She needs to kinda get over it. There are 160 other hours he can spend with his children. Ugh...I hate couples that do this to eachother.

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