Could some sort of depression/mental illness have caused my wife to want to divorce me out of the blue?

after 10 yrs married and during the last 3 months carrying our planned 3rd child she all of the suddenly turned on me--became physically violent---emotionally and verbally abussive toward me---demanded i move out while she was still carrying baby---wanted seperation/divorce. she was and still is manipulative---has turned all her family and friends against me---nobody can even be open minded to anything on my part ---everyone believes everything she says---she went into violent rages everyday toward me for 18 months before having me falsely removed from my home and family with a bogus ex-parte(protection order)when the baby was 15 mos. old---i wouldnt /refused to leave/abandon my family that whole time through all that daily abuse only toward me. she dismissed the order 2 mos later after she used it for its purpose(to get me out)and then filed divorce 1 mos later---then dismissed that 1 yr later after we fed lawyers 40,000.00 dollars---then she filed again 3 mos later,march,2009---this whole time i have been living in an apartment---at cost of 1,200.00/month along with the legal fee loses---and many other expenses---all that money that should be being left for our 3 kids futures---so so much more to mention---i cant find anything about her medical because she started keeping it all secret and hippa laws protect her---its all a big circus/joke---with the lawyers/doctors/counselors/etc---im helpless--cant get nowhere. i feel so sorry for the innocent kids with this devestating nightmare. im 55 and shes 45----it could be post partum depression/menopause/some other sort of depression/bipolar/multiple personality disorder/etc,etc,---or combo of some or all ---please give ur input or experiences or knowledge of this that u may know about ---there seems to be no hope in saving my marriage/family
Additional Details
she also has latched onto a bitter 65 yr old divorced woman that she has known for many yrs as her mentor and taking all kinds of bad advice from her. it seems as though she replaced me as her husband and father of herchildren with this terrible woman that i hardly ever really even knew or ever did anything to her for her to be purposely trying to breakup my marriage and destroy my family---which she has sucessfully done and continues to do.---my wife took it on herself to have our kids(3,6 and 9) calling her grandma. this woman is truly the most terrible/evil woman/person i have ever known to be doing asuch a terrible thing to our innocent children/their future and my marriage and family. all i can see--and others i have told this to---is that she is lonely,bitter,mad at her own failed marriage/life and misserable self,etc,etc, and has targeted me and my family when my wife is not apparently well or thinking right. people tell me its because "misery loves company" is why shedoes

Very Determined 1

I don't know if you're religious or not but the best thing for you to do is: PRAY FOR YOURSELF, YOUR WIFE, AND ESPECIALLY YOUR KIDS! One thing for sure is that your wife is going through SOMETHING right now! Whether it's mental or not I don't know. But I will let you in on a little secret (being a woman and all) sometimes we (women) go through things in life that we feel only WE are going through. We feel no one else understands and that everyone is against us and that we have the worst problems in the world. And a lot of times we're mad at some decisions we've made in life that we're not happy with so we tend to make the ones who treats us the best pay the price for our unknown hatred. I know that this may sound like a bunch of bull or that you may not even understand what I'm talking about but I've talked to other women that started to do some of the same things that your wife was doing and guess what (and I can put my life on this) the odd thing is they started doing it after their 3rd child. Now I am bewildered by this. I don't know if some type of time bomb is in our bodies that doesn't go off until we have our third child or what but it may be something that you should ask a doctor about. But I guess what I'm really trying to say is that your wife/ex-wife may not even know why she's behaving the way she is ( I know this may be hard to believe but it most definitely may be true!) She may also believe that she's not the one that's changed or that she has done anything wrong! (Now this is especially hard to believe but it too could be true!) She could also be a very manipulative, coniving, spiteful, miserable b**** whose goal in life is to make everyone else as miserable as she is! It seems to me that you've done all that you could do. Now the only thing left to do is PRAY, TURN IT OVER TO GOD, AND MOVE ON! Let go and let God! God Bless You! I will be praying for you, your wife/ex-wife, and your children! No matter what she does you keep doing the right thing. I promise you that the Lord will bless you in the end!

Darrick

My ex is nuts to. All you can do is love your kids.

Alex

I know this it isn't bipolar or multiple personality, it doesn't sound like the symptoms of menopause especially since it started while she was pregnant, and post partum depression usually doesn't manifest itself like that. I would imagine it is something along the lines of depression that counseling and medication could take care of. I definitely wouldn't let this go especially if you feel she is a danger to herself or your kids, call the authorities or DCFS they can get psychological help for her, the kids, and you, cause you may need therapy to sort out your feelings.

TERI Sexton

It's possible she is suffering some sort of mental problems but its also possible she is not in love with you and has manipulated the situation so you look like the bad guy. She is obviously a very angry and vindictive person. Why do you want to stay married to a person like this? It's too bad that she has custody of the kids but its better to end the war so your kids have a chance to settle down and relax a little bit. What's the point in continuing this? Let go and move on.
Sorry it's not the answer you want, but it's the one you need.
good luck

Sue C

I am so sorry to hear of all the problems you are having, the children who are obviously also suffering, the total waste of ALL that money! Is there some way you can speak w/a Dr. concerning her instability, her actions & get their impute on it all. You would NOT be going against any HIPPA law, because you are discussing YOUR problems & trying to understand where there just may be a mental problem in her case, if so, what could YOU do about it. As long as you are NOT asking into her personal medical affairs, but simply telling a Dr. as to what has been going on & asking his advice of just what you could or could not do regarding it all. This is truly NOT the actions of someone stable in their way of thinking & only a Dr. would be able to shed some lite on it for you. There has to be some way you CAN get answers to YOUR questions. I AM VERY familiar w/HIPPA laws, & this would NOT be going against them in any way... I DO wish you all the best...:)

Mia W

It sounds like she has some sort of mental illness.

~*STAR*~

She's crazy, I feel sorry for all the men that have to put up with her kind, I would be very concerned for my kids, is she mentally stable to give them the care they need? Is she treating them right? Are they safe?
Some women do get a little coo-coo, my brother's wife suffers from anxiety and I know it's a common condition and when I talk to her I can tell right away she's not 100% normal, I can't imagine what her condition is. I wish you the best of luck and I hope all this gets better.

ouragon

My husband has started experiencing rages over the last 3 months. They came out of nowhere. He's seeing a psychiatrist, and so far has ruled out depression and ADHD. He's now on medication for bipolar disorder. I don't know yet whether it's working.

He is abusive toward me for six hours up to overnight about once a week. He is often highly irritable. He doesn't remember the next day what he said.

If the dr weren't confirming all this, I wouldn't believe it, and I wouldn't still be here.

If she won't go to a dr, I don't know what your options are. You could request a psych evaluation for her to keep custody. If she gets diagnosed, she'll have to get treatment to keep the kids.

Good luck.

Pyar

You've been blindsided ... something inside her snapped . Could she be mentally ill ? yes it's possible but proving it is nearly impossible ... Just cut the strings , get divorced , save your own sanity. It's time to end it and get on with your life . My ex , divorced me after 20 years . Completely blind sided me . I never saw it coming . Turned out she was a computer addict and was having an affair with a guy from Switzerland ... I am now happily remarried . She is alone with her computer .The Swiss guy is long gone. Our son hates her and can't wait to head for college next fall . My relationship with him couldn't be better .
If I saw a way ,I'd tell you but what I see is your marriage is dead . Start a new life while you still can .

etcha sketch

Mid-life crisis' look like this.

sandman

hey there i feel for you i have been married for 30 yearsand my wife has a mental illness when she had are 2nd child she had postpardem depression they gave her EST and antipsychic drugs for about two years then they took her off and she was good for about 18 years they all of a sudden it happened again now they say it was psychic depression she then was on antipsychic drugs again for a year and they took her off of them. all seemed good till about six months ago and out of no were she tells me that she has been cheating on me for about two years and that she does not want to leave me but want to live as just friends I have been trying to tell people about this and they think i'm nuts i told the family doctor he said that he finds nothing wrong with her that she just want to be free it hurt when she leaves and does not tell me where she is going or when she is coming home i do not know if she know how much i love her and trying to keep it to gether she was never this way before she allways thought about what people thought about her and not to hurt anybodys feelings now she could not give a shit about anybody and there feeling there is something wrong with her i know that but nothing i can do. can anybody help me to

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