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SusyQ
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WOW I think he is hanging to the illusion of what if? What he doesn't realize is that Marriage is the same weather is with your sweetheart of years or with someone new, there is the illusion that the other person is perfect for them because they didn't get the chance to live with them 24/7,lots of people cheat because of that(I'm not saying you husband will do it or did) is like a perfect world since they are only seeing and enjoying the happy or good side of the other person, avoiding the whole good and bad.
I will recommend you talking a lot with your husband when you are completely calm and ask him to be really honest with you, I don't think you should stop trusting your husband because of this, marriage takes lots of work and communication is a very important tool for you two to work and keep up at all times, one day you will be able to even joke about this incident or at least it will not affect you in any way,
Best of wishes for you and your family |
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Brie L
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no....he just said that because he got rejected.......get a divorce |
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crissangelfn
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Uhhh NO! He only changed his tune and said it meant nothing because he got shot down AND busted by you. I would feel really small after that. You are his second choice and should be number one. He is an idiot who needs to be alone or at least without you! |
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Stephen K
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Never.
I mean, 12 years!? holy cow! |
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teenmommy!
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no. he meant everything he said to his ex. and just told you he didn't because he was rejected. personally..i would never be able to believe that he really loved me. i would strongly suggest marriage counseling. obviously there's something going on that made him say this to his ex. |
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von C
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I wouldn't believe it. I would be so booty hurt. There would be nothing he could do or say that would put that out of my mind......ever.
He just ruined your relationship forever. What an azz whole!
Honestly, I don't know if I could stay with him after that. |
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G-Lop
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Whoa. The only reason this guy is crying back to you is because he no longer has a chance with her. Is he your husband? Personally I'm strongly against divorce (not because of any religious reasons) so based on my personal opinion I advise you to seek out couples counseling. I know it may sound lame, my boyfriend and I do it once and awhile and its great. I think you two can work through this out if you want to. If I where you... I would be hurt, very hurt and taken back. If you still love him you should try to work through it with the help of a counselor before you end it. |
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lolly
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I think that makes it pretty clear what he really wants in life. So knowing that he would rather be with his ex, I would not want to be with him. i would rather set him free so he can have what he truly wants and so that I could move on and find someone who wants to be with me. He totally meant what he said to his ex, he's only changing his tune now that he knows he can't have what he wants. But you will always know that he would rather her than you. |
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angel
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NO i could never belive him about any thing after that. |
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Rmf
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OUCH! No, I couldn't get over that. But, you may be a far stronger person than I am. I tend to live in the past too much. If you love him and he loves you and you can focus on the future.... then you can get through this.
Hang on.... I thought you meant this happened 12 yrs ago.... just reread the question and this is recent?! NO NO NO Leave him!!!! You deserve to be with someone who isn't "undecided" about you. |
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lost_as_a_goose
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No, I sure couldn't believe he had any love, respect or desire for me. I would set him free to pursue his happiness and move on with my life. |
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dtsien
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NO! I don't believe he really loves you. |
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Darcher
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heck no , I couldn't even get over the fact. after 13 years together I found out my now husband had a tattoo of his ex's favorite band on his arm..(it's covered now, though )so something like this would never go over right with me...if he can jeopardize your current relationship with a past girlfriend he is surely to jeopardize it with someone in the future. |
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charlesjerrell
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no i dont think i could, it would surprise u and me how many divorced people probley feel that way about there exs, deep down inside themselves, |
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ElPumita
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NO. |
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terrim08
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no I couldn't believe that. |
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JS212010
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wow! this would realy hurt me... it would be realy realy hard for me to get it over it... it would be realy hard to believ he loved me..
u should have a very serious talk with him. |
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mollyblue55
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No - he's lying to you and he's lying to himself. |
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Jeticoan
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Have you ever been with someone and wanted someone else? I have, and it's not a good feeling. I think that your husband loves you, but he's not in love with you, he never was. Because if he was, then he would have known from the moment that he married you that you were the only one that he wanted, maybe he couldn't have his ex at the time and just settled for you, and now he's unhappy. Believe me when I say that he have fantasies about her all the time, even when you're in his presence, because he really wants to be with her. And of course you deserve better, so just ask him to be honest about it. |
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maleesha
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honestly no and if you came around to forgiving him you would never forget and your marriage will never be the same it will have a weight hanging on it plus in my opinion the only reason he said he didn't mean it was because he got rejected. just think if he hadn't got rejected then he would have probably divorced u or be having an affair and if he capable of doing this to u ounce he is capable of doing this twice. sorry darl my advice is to separate or divorce |
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~Tofu~
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no, don't believe him. he said he loves you because she just rejected him.
I'm very sorry you had to go through that. |
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So Fab
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He loves someone else, and he made it obvious. He probably loves you too, but maybe just not the same way as he loves her. Have a serious talk with him, because you don't need to be with someone that wishes they were with someone else. |
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taliwakers2
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he obviously has issues with getting
over his past..
i would say to take him to the doctor. |
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DMG
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Wow, that cuts to the quick. I am afraid I would be contacting a lawyer to dump him. You might be more forgiving and opt for counseling |
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Wiser1
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Truthfully, I couldn't. If he didn't mean it, why would he talk to her and tell her that? He got caught, he got dumped on by her, and he doesn't want to lose you, too, but he doesn't love you as much as he loved her. |
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live-laugh-love<3
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i think i could get over it, but it would be really hard for me to forgive him. |
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kim h
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No I could not get over it and he would be free to leave. I would help him get his crap together. If she had said ok, he would have been running for the door. |
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SWAMPROOT
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NO |
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Tsunami
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i would be divorcing him now. |
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Butchie
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no i don't think that i could get over it. and i don't think that i would ever believe that he loves me. but sometimes people always want what they cant have, things sound so good that you want them, then when you lose everything that you do have to get what you thought you wanted you realize that is not as good as it sounded and it is not at all what you wanted. maybe that is one of those situations. what ever it is it is not fair. but i don't think that you should spend the rest of your life being 2nd best and worrying about what if she changes her mind and wants him back or not only that would he leave you for a stranger. |
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Adult 
Gambling
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