Dishonest relationship without commnication?

when i was boyfriend and girlfriend with my husband, i had went to florida on vacation with my family.. i didnt wanna go but my dad made me go... while i was there i would call my boyfriend and he wouldnt answer.. and we have a family plan.. and i saw online that he was talking to someone for hours at night and while he would be at work.. at the time he lied and said it was a friend..i also wanted to break up with him at the time and he kept telling me no and that he loves me and blah blah blah... well time past.. we got married and had a baby.. right now shes 10 months old.. well i asked him if he was really talking to a girl at the time and he lied again and told me no.. but i lied and tricked him and said that i already knew he was with someone.. i just wanted him to tell me the truth.. and then he finally admitted it.. but at the time he would talk to her for hours at night.. and then when i had got back from vacation.. he would tell me he was sleepy around 11pm and he would make me leave.. so that he could talk to her til 3-4 in the morning.. well i saw that they communicated real well.. and when we talk on the phone we only talk for like 5 minutes.. well now i feel bad thinking that we arent for each other because we dont communicate.. and i dont know what to do.. he tells me that he wants to be with me and my baby.. but i dont look at him the same right now.. im scare that he really liked her but he just felt sorry for me.. and all these bad things.. what do u guys think?

jenreydav

I think that people make mistakes. He made a mistake for talking to someone else while lying to you, and you made the mistake in going forward with the relationship, getting married, and having a baby. What's done is done, but you should not break up the marriage and have your daughter be without her father now. At this point, I would attempt to make things work. Ask him if he thinks that the relationship can work and see if this is something that you can get past. Just because he talked to this person for hours over the phone doesn't mean that he loved this person. Obviously he loved you enough for you to have his child and marry. Work on your marriage....it will be worth it in the long run.

fiery redhead 67

he is a liar and untrustworthy. he isn't ready for fatherhood and being a husband. he is immature and maybe feels trapped because of the baby. if he loved you,he wouldn't talk to anyone else and i think he may also be using you for his ego. talk to him and tell him that you feel that he is only staying for the baby and that you know he is a liar and talks to someone else. if he wants to,you may need couple's counseling to work out his issues. be prepared though,if he says he wants out of the marraige. you will be better off though with a man that loves you and is honest.

julesrules

Lying in itself is a bad thing and one also leads to another.

You should have put your relationship on hold until you got things straightened out and waited before marrying and having a baby because life is going to be alot harder now that you don't feel the same.

What you can do is go for couple's counseling and they can teach you how to communicate and in time you will know if you want to stay together or not.
You could also use a boost of self confidence right now.
Tell your husband you would like to be a real family. Take the counselor's suggestions and work on your relationship.

Good Luck.

O2BQuiteRite

I think you need to give it a rest. I've always looked at it this way...where is he? He's with you. He's made that choice to be with you. But, it wouldn't hurt to talk with him about the need for real communication. I mean marriage is a long-haul thing. You don't just give up on it because we don't communicate. Instead, you work at learning appropriate communication skills. The other thing I'd like to say is that my husband was out with my best girlfriend while I was in the hospital with our newborn son. When you have that issue, then you might consider other options in your relationship. Til then, work at it baby!

â™¥B@BY~GURLâ™¥

WELL 1ST OFF HE MARRIED YOU ON A LIE HE KNEW WHAT HE HAD BEEN DOIN AS WELL AS YOU DID BUT YET HE LIED AND LIED SO THAT YOU WOULD STILL MARRY HIM SO HE MARRIED YOU ON A LIE I HATE A LIAR AND IM MARRIED TO ONE AS WELL THAT DID ALMOST THE SAME THING TO ME WE MARRIED MARCH6,2009 ON A LIE JUST LIKE YOU I DIDNT KNOW IT UNTILL IT WAS TO LATE AND NOW IM MISERABLE EVERYDAY I WANT OUT BADLY YOUR HUSBAND LIED AND MARRIED YOU ON IT ID REALLY THINK ABOUT THAT AND DECIDE IF HE IS WORTH STAYING WITH I KNOW MINE IS NOT BUT MAYBE YOURS IS DIFFERENT I MEAN YA'LL HAVE A CHILD GOOD LUCK SWEETIE

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