Do I have to forget my wife for cheating on me?

goodguy_46947

Sorry to say this but it is impossible to ever forget.

trblmmmy

i've been in the same situation you are in now, i choose to stay with my husband even though he cheated, not only because we have kids together but b/c i love him, this is honestly a decsion you'll have to make for yourself, but if u do decided to stay with her, maybe try some marriage consuling, don't let her pull i dunno why i did it, , hope all works out for you.

confused and in pain

I believe in relationships and love. I think that with the proper counseling, understanding and communication you can make it through. if she is willing to do it that is. sounds like you are. Maybe she did this because of something missing in your relationship you were not aware of. so talk it out and see what each of you really want. if you want to make it work then communication, and understanding with counseling can help

smilingtalker_au

First I believe you should talk to her and try to understand the reasons she wanted to have a relationship with this man. You both need to know and understand this so you can both fix any issues that might have contributed. She must know the pain she has caused you and that it will take a long time for that pain to heal, if ever. However, be sure she knows you love her and want to be with her forever and ask her to try and help you achieve real and full forgiveness. If she really loves you will see her trying to earn your trust and respect. Make sure she gives an undertaking to you that she will never stray again and that she is committed to fixing your relationship. If she doesn't want that then parting is the only option

greg j

forgive her just as jesus forgave you. my wife has forgave me for when i had cheated on her. she's 21 you shay she's horny and may not be as ready to settle down with one man like she thought she may have been.

Rambo

women say about men "once a cheater always a cheater". Same goes for women..dump her and get custody of the kid.

Shelties RULE !!!!

they say age is just a number, but there is quite a gap here.
she is not through sewing her oats, as you may be.
i would say, file now, and also get your baby, you really do not need to go through the hurt and lies, get out of this risky, unstable marriage, while your baby is still young and will adjust.
prayer works, God listen's and answers.
God bless you and your child.

Bert

I am sorry, the only thing that I can advise you is that the bible says that if your partner is unfaithful, you may divorce...seek God and you shall find Him.....Jesus loves you, and hates a broken heart....God bless

lolliepop

Forgive each other not 7 times, but 70 x 7.

William T

You don't forget. Decide if you want to stay married or not. If you don't make a clean break. If you do, go to therepy and spend the next year in tense hell with your spouse.

xyz

That is a hard situation, me I have always left once that has happened cause you may be able to forgive her but you will never forget. It will drive you crazy. It is something that you will need to sit down and work on. Think about if I stay will I be able to start over with her as if this did not happen. If you do not let it go you will not make it cause you will always wondering if she is doing it while you are out making money to support the family or to affraid to leave her alone. Good luck to you if nothing else stay and work on things and if you realize that it will not work you can leave then. People do change it is up to what you can handle.

mythology

I have a few questions for you: how you find out she was cheating on you? for how long was she having an affair? This type of questions are going to help you determine if she is going to do it again or if you could trust her. Are you having other marital problems? You know some women go thru post-par tum depression and may cause some self esteem issues that might pushed her to go in the arms of somebody else.
You dont need to forgive her if you think that you might hold a grudge on her, because eventually all your frustations will come out. Good luck!

Shortstuff13

Learning to trust again after being cheated on is a very difficult thing to do. You said you still love your wife, so having said that, I would say you two should try to work it out. She has a lot of proving to do & if she really wants to be trusted again, & if you're willing, it will take a long time for her to earn that trust again. You have a baby together, so try to work it all out for her/his sake too. If it doesn't work out, then divorce may be your last resort. You may be able to get custody of your baby. I applaud you if you stay with your wife & try to work it all out. I do strongly suggest that you two go to a marriage counselor. It will help to find out why your wife cheated on you, etc. Forgiving is the easy part, forgeting isn't. Good luck!!!

morena

It takes alot of help to get over someone cheating on you. Only you know if you have what it takes. Sometimes even with professional help it is a stuggle in itself.

christine h

Do not get devorced!You can make this work!The hurt and betrail isint going to just poof go away and you can not use it as a wepon agenst her.You have to just give it up it happened and their deffenitly something missing for her to do this the trick is going to be to make your marrege forfilling.As well I did see she just 21?What were you thinking?A woman isnt totly mature untell shes arround 25 you need to alow her to finish growing up.at 21 your supposed to be haveing fun not tyed down to a baby and husband but if you choose to go that route you have a responcablity to see her threw it.Plain some fun exsighting things for her and with her include this in you marrege!she needs to assoate exsightment with you.I think if you get devorce you will create much more hurt and leve a legace of pain for your child.Just take solis that studys show most marreges have a instance of infadlity by one or both partys over a life time.Dosent make it right but if you truly love her and your little family stand strong let it go and forgive her.now if she does it again and agin you have to face it shes not reddy to be fathfull to you and its probly not becouse she dosent love you it will moore than likly be becouse she inmature and thein youll have to decide if your going to love her threw it and wate for her to grow up or if you just can not accept it.I guess it bolis down to fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on me.

RÂºÃ±Ã±Ã¨Ã¨

ok all bull aside, shes a cheater, and shes always going to be a cheater, yes its cause shes young and dumb, and yes you are prolly not giving her what she needs to feel complete, she prolly only said the things she said to make you stay or not throw her out, and if shes truly sincere on the, not ever doing this thing again you wouldnt know anyways cause shes got you in such a state of mind where youll prolly believe anything just to believe shes not cheat anymore, trust me dude, shell say whatever she needs to to get you to keep her ,its in about 5 months when you need to start your lil camera in the plant thing cause i guarantee shes not done . keep your eyes open , and only believe half of what shes saying, she'll show you the true person she is soon enough , and if she is a good girl and does good by you then you are truelly the winner here , arent you, good luck

Truely

Forgive........sounds good. Forget, you couldn't. You have to look into yourself and know that you can forgive the cheating and go on. You have to act like it never happened. The sin has to be washed away in your mind for you guys to continue.
You are the only one that knows if you can do this.

Malik2x

I say divorce. I would never trust the woman again.

khachik1975

I'm sorry for saying this, but the only way I see people cheating on each other, when no love is present, or there is another one.
In Armenia people say "The red cow cannot change it's color, it will always stay red", meaning that it's impossible to change permanent things. I don't think she fell in love with You again, but You are the only one to tell. Good luck!

nadine_forbear

Sometimes women have weak moments, you need to get her to counseling, and since she is willing to want to go back to you this means she made the big mistake, and you should try to comfort her and as the good book says forgive, but she needs to earn your trust back and reassure you by letting you know where shell be and give you the phone numbers so if you feel uncomfortable you may call or check with her, Good luck, and God bless you and her

~*Allypooh*~

First: I'm sorry, this is a real tragedy. You'll get a lot of people telling you to dump her, whatever.
Only you know what your situation is really like.
Look: are you guys having other issues? Sometimes, an affair is a symptom of a bigger problem. Is she willing to try professional counseling? Are you willing to go through it with her? You'll both have to probably make some changes and work things out...if you can, I can say that anything worth keeping is worth fighting for....that's not to say you won't forget..but you can forgive. It will take time...
That being said, is this a repeat thing? If it is, then you might have to explore other options.
People make stupid choices. Having a baby can be a real challenge, especially when making that adjustment. I know it is difficult. I am currently trying to work out a similar situation in my marriage. It is not easy, but I know our situation, and I know why things happened as they did.
My thoughts go out to you. Try not to be nasty, stay civil...gentle as you can. I would suggest counseling. It worked for me and my guy...we're still working out stuff. It's hard, but it's worth it if you love each other. Love is a funny thing, you know? Give it the benefit of the doubt...but be sure it doesn't happen again. Forgiveness and love is not the same thing as being a doormat.
Good luck to you and your family. It doesn't have to be the end of everything, but it can show what needs to be done to help the marriage.

shannon d

Yes..you can forgive and move on. Love is about forgiveness, compassion and understanding. But you do have to get to the root of the problem. Many people falsely assume that the problem begins and ends with the affair,but that is an inaccurate assumption. You have a young wife, who is willing to make a real effort at making your marriage work. Give her that opportunity. I dont think you will be dissapointed. Get the "relationship rescue" book that Dr. Phil wrote and work on it together. God Bless you guys!

wongfiehung2003

give it a chance to get better, mean while kick the other guys butt all up and down the street..it is a matter of honor.

snowwhite

No you dont have to forgive and I would not. This "woman" has no respect for you or your child to do that to you in your own home to say the least!!!! I also believe that once a cheat, always a cheat. The trust is broken, the relationship has gone bad. I agree with the others, Divorce and get the child. I wish you luck. I know it sounds easy for us to say, and it is harder to do, but from past personal experience with cheaters, it is what I wish I would have done to save alot of pain and heartache in the long run.
Good luck.

lyn p

i beleive marriage is forever...your wife has hurt you,but by the sounds of things you love her very much.. you need to look hard and work out whats worse loosing her or staying with her can you trust her it will be hard to build that trust it will be hard road but if thats what your heart says to do well maybe counseling will help.what she done was wrong....good luck...age doesnt matter

mmbmw2000

Only you can answer your own heart but to help u make the decision easier i suggest first you seek marriage counseling together. Your trust has been violated. It will not be easy but you both have to b willing to work on it. Forgiving is the easy part but as wounded humans the forgetting is the hardest. Good luck and I will be praying for you both.

Viking

MEN! Take note! This is why you don't marry a 21 year old! Seriously though, if you think you can get over it, stick with her and the baby. If not, you have to let her go. I think maybe she didn't have time to "sow her oats" and you are going to suffer the consequences of that.

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