Do i need a divorce?

Obsequious

You either need to get away from those kids NOW, or seek counseling immediately!

Trip S

Dude, in all seriousness you need to go see a therapist to learn what you can do differently. These kids need a good step father and you also need to apologize to them and tell them you are going to see someone to help you learn how to control your anger. Explain to them that it is not their fault and you really are sorry and want to make things better. In time you can be a good dad to them, but they need for you to learn how to do that. Divorce is not the answer. It will just be one more abandonment in their life by a man who was too messed up to make a different decision. Do the right thing, get some help.

Violet Pearl

yes. they'd be better off without you

Jack

Recognizing that you need help is an important step. Next, you need an attitude adjustment. Seek counseling. Change your lifestyle. Be a leader in the family instead of an abuser. Make a schedule of activities and lead in the group participation. Go for walks together. Ride bikes. Play and read together. Pray together. Eat meals together. As you do things together, you will change your attitudes and behaviors. You will also learn to interact with your family members in more appropriate ways. Get counseling for yourself and the rest of the family. Divorce is just another way to run away from a problem instead of correcting it. Correct the problem now and enjoy life later. The alternative is to suffer until the problem is corrected without regard to divorce.

Angie W

Yes, you either need to get away from the children or go seek some help.

blahblahblahdunnowhat

for the sake of the children, i probably would. unless you can convince the wife to send the children off to their dad's to live. makes me wonder what the mom thinks about this. but i know, i'm kinda in the same situation

Schizophrenic

Why let your wife pay for the bad things you have done? Is there a particular cause for your mean behavior? What's the problem with treating them nice? Maybe you can start by bringing the whole family (your wife, your son and her children) to somewhere and spend the day there together. Talk to her children when your wife is around, so she's watching you and you can't go haywire.
Should things get worse, seek professional help.

angelica

I think you need to have family counseling. Maybe you need some anger management classes. The 15 year old needs help. These issues need to be resolved.

makingithappen

You are verbally abusing them. You are probably verbally abusing their mother as well. Sounds like she is allowing this to happen to her own children, so she is either scared to stand up to you or she is figuring out a way to make a break from you. You are the one that needs some help regardless of whether you stay with these children or not. You must change. No one deserves to be treated the way you are treating these kids.

Phyllobates

You should never speak to children in such a manner. Regardless of your relationship with this woman, think of these children. If you don't separate from her, you should at least seek counseling and stay away from the children until you can control your verbal abuse. Please seek help and don't hurt these kids anymore.

waiting for baby

at least you know you have a problem
does she accept you treating her kid that way
(hope not)
but I would not get a divorce I would find way to work thing out
go see a counsolor and apologized to those children and hope that they forgive you

superboredom

you should really try to treat them like your own, take them out and talk to them, try bonding with them, instead of yelling at them whenever you see them.

Cutencrazy

Go to counseling and if that doesn't work, then you could divorce.

mickey g

you should have family counsling. do you do this with your kid? what makes these kids different? what makes you talk to them that way? why does their mother let you? you really need professional insight

Glace

i think you should treat them good,bring them out, go to holidays.
you already chose who you should go with it

This is the deal Josh: You need help in order to live a happy life. You really do. What you are doing is called abuse. Please remove yourself from these children. They can't take it anymore. It hurts. It's hurting them. It's hurting you. Please leave and get help. They need to heal, and you will need to learn a new way to control your anger. Best wishes....

wendy p

hello,
you need to put your self in their shoes and see if you like to be called names...after all they are children and she is an idiot for letting you do the mental abuse to her children....and if you can't control your anger you need to seek counseling from some where.....and you have a son also what do you call him????do you do it to him????and how does he feel if you do???? you need serious help in some shape of form.....its not fair to the children and they didn't ask to be there they are stuck there in the situation and they can't help it.....if you feel the need to down them then you need to not talk to them its not fare to them who their mother lays down with......why make the children suffer.....when you married her you took a responsibility of her children.....you need to understand that as a man and except it as a man..... you can do some serious mental health issues to the children....i was mentaly abused as a child and its just not right....i wouldn't say get a divorce but you need some real help from a doc....or counsler or some sort of family counseling.....your wife needs it to for letting it go on......no mother in their right mind would let that happen to her children

Daiquiri Dream

Didn't you know how you felt about her kids before you married her? Why did you even marry her? You are verbally abusive to her kids. You should not have contact with any kids!!

Kari

I dont think i will ever get married if something happened to my husband and i for this reason. You cant love a child like its your own its not humanly possible i dont care who disagrees. And my kids will always come first. But i dont think you should go as far as calling them names at least pretend to like them for your wife this has to be devastating to her. How would you feel if she did this to your kid?

MISS 84

First you need to go to anger management and apologize to the children and your wife! This is very serious and you need to get professional help soon because your son may hurt himself very bad. Please get help!

tamzalicus

HI JOSH,
I'M NOT GOING TO WRITE BACK AND CALL YOU NAMES OR SUCH BUT I WILL SAY THAT YOU ALONG WITH YOUR NEW FAMILY NEED TO GET SOME HELP.
HAVE YOU TALKED TO YOUR DOCTOR? YOU MAY WANT TO ASK ABOUT SOME ANTI-DEPRESSANTS. YOU ALSO NEED TO KEEP IN THE BACK OF YOU MIND " THESE HURT FULL WORDS OR ALSO BAD WORDS. I GREW UP WITH ALOT OF THESE NEGATIVE WORDS SO I TAUGHT MY CHILDREN THAT THESE WERE "BAD" WORDS. AS BAD AS SAYING FU ETC, SO IF BOTH YOU,YOUR WIFE AND KIDS APPROACH THIS AS IF THESE ARE "BAD" WORDS OFF LIMIT WORDS. AND REPRIMAND YOURSELF AS MUCH AS THE KIDS FOR USING THEM THE HABIT WILL BE BROKEN. AS FOR YOUR STEP SON HE SEEMS TO HAVE NOT ONLY THAT ISSUE BUT OTHERS AND SO YOU SHOULD REFER HIM TO COUNSELING.

hersheynrey

What you need to do is really ask yourself if it is the kids that bug you or is it really that you dont want to be with the mom. You said she makes you happy but you didnt say that you loved her. You might just be using the kids for an excuse to get rid of the mom. Be careful because that 15 yr old boy is going to grow up and could knock you on your *** one day. What ever your problem is dont take it out on the kids. Its not thier fault that you are not thier dad and they have no choice in the matter about where thier mom is they have to be. You married her knowing she had kids right? How did you get along with them when you were dating? I cant believe that the mom hasnt knocked you on your *** for treating her kids like that. I know I would of had my old mans things packed and at the door if I heard him talking like that to one of my boys. She should be the one considering divorce or getting you some help.

messier

Yes

amberharris20022000

noooooooo

peachy

yes, you horroble man, does she even know about this?

Jen G

How about anger management classes.

star22

If the children are suffering, and you can't control yourself, then something has to be done.

I think the best thing would be to seek family counseling, and try to figure out what is going on, and how to fix the problems that you are having.

Please, please, please stop yelling at the children and calling them names. You are an adult and are not only responsible for being a parent to your child, but also your step children.

If you really feel that divorce is the only way out, than if that is what it takes to protect the children, then maybe that is the best. But please keep in mind that the children are old enough to pick up on the fact that they are the reason why you choose divorce.

Either way, I would urge the mother of your stepchildren to seek help for child who is cutting himself, as he is crying out for help, and does not know how to deal with the pain he feels inside.

Catherine R

Yes... or at least a separation until you can get some help (therapy, a kick in the butt,etc) for this problem. You are doing these kids a major injustice. What you are doing can cause them to have major self-esteem problems in the future. Children do not ask to be in the situations adults sometimes put them in. What if someone treated your son like that? I'm sure you'd be pretty upset! What does their mother think about how you treat them? Speaking as a mother, if my husband treated my children that way he'd be gone!!!!!!! If you truely loved your wife, it would never even cross your mind to treat those poor children that way! I hope you get the help you need. GOOD LUCK!

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