Do i think i am in the wrong?

goodies make the boys jump on it

u have no choice but 2 go 2 court unless u can straighten the money issue w/him out soon

superliftboy

In that case he is a gultess Pu**y and should support his kid.

I hate men who don't take there responsibiltiys properly.

Bo**ocks to him, go to the CSA and call his bluff

ciberpunk1

He won't quit his job. He is bluffing. He does however need to provide you with support. Call him on his bluff.

rollacoasta

Go to the CSA. Call his bluff. This man is quite clearly a complete oxygen theif.

You are doing the honourable thing by making sure the visits fit in with your life - he walked out afterall.

However, ensure that this doesn't ostricize your son from him because that could lead to later trauma for all concerned.

So he's moved in with another girl a month after leaving you? Geez, this man really is a low-life. Take heart from the knowledge you no longer have him in your life as a partner. And take the son of a b to court. He made your little boy, he must at least pay the minimum required by law to support him.

Good luck, and stay strong xx

wishingstar50

for gods sake take him to court !

Mean Carleen

I dont care what he says GO TO COURT and get a child support order. Your son is entitled to a court order. If the loser wants to quit his job..LET HIM! Its not like he is giving you money anyway. At least if you go to court, he will run the risk of getting loccked up for failure to pay.

jellybean

He's a bum. Go to the csa, let him quit his job, see how long his girlfriend hangs around when he's got no money. Go to talk to the Citizens Advice Beaurau, see if they can help you with your financial situation, they'll be able to tell you who you need to speak to at least. Personally i wouldnt let him see your son, but thats just me. You keep strong, you deserve better than this, I'll have a good thought for you.

mrs O

He's playing the game with you...don't let him intimidate you...if it were me?? I'd go to court. You and your son don't have to live like this...good luck hun.

prouddaddy

The man should always support his children that HE helped bring into the world.

roast_potato

You are no where near in the wrong.

I'd call his bluff and go to the CSA - if he has a good job, he probably wouldn't be able to hack living a poor lifestyle.

Keep your spirits up, knowing that you are definitely better off without him.

lisa1965co

no you are not wrong. the scum bag has a responsibilty to his little boy and should pay for his needs and such. you should not sit back and do nothing. he is getting off scot free. he should be made to pay. i would file for divorce and take him to court and let a judge make him pay.

Kassie

No... if this is the way it is, then you are not in the wrong. If I were you, I would seek guidence. Maybe a pastor or a lawyer. See if you can get some sort of legal aid to help with the issue. Some things, especially this type, cannot be worked out mutually. Its unfortunate, but that is the way it is.
Be strong ! Get help !

silverado19642001

You need to go to court. He says he will quit his job, like that is some kind of threat? If he is not giving you any money now, what difference would it make if he quit his job to you? You need to force his hand and let him know that you are not going to let him have anything, including visitation with your son until he starts supporting his son and settling his debts. Go to court, get the law on your side, forget what he says.

simon m

There are some blokes who make me feel ashamed that I am a man. Tell him to quit his job if he wants, but he still has to pay, CSA is changing so they will take it out of his benefit, what he doesn't pay he'll owe. He'll also have his girlfriends income and any future partners income taken in to consideration as well. He needs money to live!, although it may take some time he will end up paying.

What you must do is go see a solicitor
Go to Citizens advice bureau because you can claim all kinds of tax benefits for your child.

Remember one thing, you are seeing this man for the b#stard he is, if he doesn't want to support his son then that just shows what kind of example he would be to your son and i am sure you would want your son to grow up to be a better man then he is right now. As for the debt if they are in his name inform the creditors of his new address.

I feel for you, I wish you all the luck in the world, hopefully this will not had tainted your experience of men. I promise we are not all like your ex. You deserve far better then him

Starla_C

You are going to have to take him to court to get child support and help with the debts. You should also get visitation ordered by the court. Sorry hun, but that is just the way it's done.

Lotus

GO TO COURT! He has a responsiblity to his son. Why would you let him get away with that? Stand up for yourself and your child. If he doesn't pay, he goes to jail. Simple enough. You are not in the wrong unless you don't push to get what your baby deserves.

Chuckler

You are in the right. He should pay towards his child's keep and pay visits at both your convenience. CSA should only be a last resort

Ems

He's saying he'll quit as he knows he is in the wrong here.The CSA calculate his income and 20% has to be paid straight out of his wages. For your sons sake get onto the CSA-its takes months to get it sorted-if he quits work which I doubt,then any JSA he gets will be lowered to pay you something. I'm sorry to hear this is happening but it is commonplace with men-they don't want to face up to their responsibilities.Be strong

Stefka

Your child should not be used as a pawn.

I know you don't want to go to court but sometimes we have to do things we really don't feel like doing. He needs to be responsible and you should be getting child support as your son is the one being short changed when he doesn't pitch in for his needs.

You also need something on paper saying your son is to be living with you so that this guy can't take him and run. The Judge will set up visitation and a payment schedule for the child support.

Your son's needs come first and as his mother - you need to do what is right, as painful or as hard as it may be.

Good luck.

Maureen

I can understand your need for money and your personal feelings of distress & betrayal.

Your son should not have to understand them, though. Your personal problems with his dad should affect him as little as possible. You should want him to have a good relationship with his father, despite your feelings about the man.

picklechick

Go to the CSA love,you just see if he quits his job,his new girl will kick his sorry **** onto the street.30 pound is a joke and no,u r not in the wrong.

raftart

How pathetic and ridiculous he is! Even if he does quit his job, you could go all the way to getting him jailed if he does not pay so that is childish and stupid. He obviously does not care a whit about your boy and his selfish ways are not going to be curbed unless you take him to court. He needs to be taught that he cannot just shun his responsibilities because he has decided to shack up with some tart. Hope all goes well sweetheart, I am so sorry he did this to you. xx

Royalhinney

You've got 2 separate issues going on here, and neither of them are related.

Child support and visitation are two separate things. Your ex should have to pay you support and you should go to court to get an order that will force him to do so. While you're there, you should set up a visitation schedule. The child is your ex's little boy and your ex deserves to see his dad just as much as you deserve to have your son. The only exception to that would be if your ex was an unfit father.

goober

ok... no i dont think at all that u are in the wrong. I also feel u need to get over this not going to court thing and do what u have to do to care for u and ur CHILD. Clearly ur X ISNT going to care for u and ur CHILD so YOU have to step up now and be a responsible mom no matter what it takes in screwing this low beat dad over to get what u need. ALSO, u said that ur x said the day u go for support is the day he quits his job?! Ok well then u can tell him that the day he quits his job and doesnt care for his child is the day his butt will be in motion to going to jail. U see... when u go for child support and he doesnt pay, they get something out of him and if its not his money, its his time and that will be spent in JAIL.

fairy_gdmthr

my ex was the same as soon as csa was on his back he quit his job.its a stupid game they play its the kids who suffer not seing their dad.and they grow up retalliating their dads.the csa will take money out of him if hes working or not dont let him bully you.you need regular payments not when he feels like it

`Avenging~ghetto~bird`

divorce him and if u go to court 4 child support he can quit his job but he'll have to find a next one cause their is this new law going around if the father doesn't pay child support he Can go to jail 4 at least 5 years and if he goers to jail tell him not to drop the soap
UR NOT WRONG HE IS

Kitty

Why don't you want to go to court?? This is what court does, it forces people into doing something they're supposed to be doing but aren't. Go to court and get child support from him. Don't think twice about it.

Unless, of course, you have plenty of money to support your child. Then simply forget about the deadbeat dad, and save yourself the stress of dealing with him.

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