Do you believe an extramartial affair is sometimes justifiable?

Bonnie

Believe it or not, most marriages CAN survive an affair. The catch is that both parties need to come to a place where they are willing to fight for the marriage.
When my husband had his first affair, I did not seek a divorce. He said he wanted to work it out. I was willing but I needed to take it slow because, lets face it, affairs hurt. He didn't like that idea and went out to have another affair. He divorced me. That was his decision, not mine. I really believe as long as both people are willing to come back together and work on the marriage it can be saved.
I think that extramarital affairs can sometimes be 'understandable' but I do not think they are 'justifiable'. If there are problems in the marriage the way to fix them is to go to the spouse and work on them, not bring someone else into the mess.
I recall, at a difficult point in my marriage, when a friend said to me, "You need to just go out and have a fling!" I said to her, "If I have a problem with a man, how is adding another man going to fix the problem?"

javelin

An affair is never justifiable. Forgivable maybe.

cheating is never justifiable. if its not working out just leave. and if i got cheated on then i would want a divorce immediately. once a cheater always a cheater.

Royalhinney

I don't think affairs are ever justifiable. If your marriage is over, then get a divorce before you start another relationship. And yes, I would divorce if my spouse had an affair.

Brownie

Yes. Once the trust is broken, it is too hard to get it back. I can forgive but not forget. There is absolutely no reason an affair would be justifiable. Except in the mind of the do-er~

Maria

YES

sunita.popli

It is NEVER justifiable.

I can't speak for everyone, but I wouldn't leave my hubby if he cheated. But he gets only one chance to screw up. He doesn't know this by the way

mrs_endless

yep

HATE MONSTERâ„¢

I would get a divorce asap.

bluebird

Cheating is never justifiable.

nwnativeprincess

Never, divorced in a heartbeat.

lesmodee

Be an adult. Work your issues out at home. Then move on if that's what you want to do. Affairs ruin people's self esteem and is hugely disrespectful.

Lil_MissVal

The question would not be "would I seek a divorce" it would be "when is the court date" and "how much alimony and child support would I receive"? I don't think an extra martial affair is ever justifiable....its done out of pure selfishness. If one doesn't get what he/she thinks they should be getting at home then they seek another person to "fulfill" the void....again selfishness!

marilynfsmgm

in a heart beat.marriage is a commitment to eachother in all ways possible.that does not mean a third person is involved.

Been There Done That

No, for better or worse.....I believe that I would leave for abuse or adultery.....no excuses......will be accepted.

â™¥The Mrs.â™¥

They are never justifiable. No matter what else is going on in the relationship two wrongs never make a right.

In would probably divorce if my husband had an affair. However if we had children, they would make it more difficult and less likely.

goodgirlabout2gobad

cheating is cheating. If I thought we could work things out and I was able to forgive and move on, then maybe I would wait on the divorce, but if I couldn't or he didnt want things to work..I would have to get a divorce. No matter what they say the one doing the cheating was not forced by the spouse to do so. You can't make someone do something they don't want to do.

Sonu

No cheating is not accepted in any case.
But divorce is a decision where two people have their life auctioned to future.
So it will depend if you can forgive you spouse and if he agrees it from depth of the heart....give it a chance...as the chain of marriage is tied with trust..unfortunately the chain is too weak to break..but bond it back is too hard.
So its will still depend how strong your love is towards your spouse.

Bite me

Honestly...I don't have a freakin clue. I think I would forgive him, until he went to sleep again that is....LOL. Well ok maybe not. But I have contemplated it myself, so I would at least give him the benefit of the doubt and try to talk about it. My husband did cheat before we were married, and yet we are married now...I dont THINK he has since..but there you go...who really knows...only him and her, if there is a her...
However, I can say honestly that if I cheated and he found out, I would expect him to want a divorce. Whether he would or not I dont know.

ShineOn

I believe that affairs are never justifiable, but are sometimes understandable. What I mean is...if a spouse is being abusive, then I can see why it would be very comforting to have someone on the side and I would be more likely to actually give the one who is being abused a hug than the one who got cheated on. However, if someone is doing it simply because the temptation is just too great then I usually think....what a weak person he or she is.

Whatever the case though, understandable is not the same thing as justifiable. It is never okay to do....just sometimes more easy to understand than others. And I don't want to get all religious on you ( am actually more spiritual than religious), but God never said that there are exceptions to the rule. Adultery is wrong...and we all have a choice in it. Just my two cents.

Mergler

I wish!

bust it baby

heck no...an extramarital affair is NEVER justifiable!
and yes, i would (and did) seek divorce.

MusicMan

Situations do arise, the marriage isn't over, when cheating is justified. The question isn't quite as simple as most of these answers indicate.

silver25racing

I think only under one condition that it should be ok and that is when the other spouse had an affair to give them a little taste of there own medicine. But truthfully this doesn't work. My ex wife had one affair at first. When i found out i had one and rubbed her nose in it. Let's just say that was immature of me to do so. After that, she continued to have 2 other affairs. The last one was enough for me. I didn't believe in affairs to begin with. I had to go since i could no longer try in a failed marriage.

CeciliaM

There is NEVER justification for infidelity. If one isn't happy with who they are with, then either they try to work it out or just move on. there is no reason to engage in such deception.

danny p

I am married and no i would divorce

Nita and Michael

I dont' believe a affair is at all justifiable, if you love the one your with then there is no need at all to go outside the marriage, the only reason these things happen is lack of communication, if one is not happy about something and not getting there needs met they need to talk to there spouse, these days, people are not happy and just go out and get it where they can and find that a solution, how is the other to no your not happy if your not telling them, would i seek a divorce, i don't know, that's hard to answer becasue i've never dealt with that situation before, i feel in my heart, that if my hubby did cheat, that i love him so much i'd be willing to try and make it work again before seeking a divorce, but if it happens a second time, he'd be out on his butt.....

Torres

You know it's hard... Sometimes it takes a mistake for the other partner to find out how good they had it, and sometimes couples can work it out... but the way I feel about it is: Why can't your husband/wife come to you if there is a problem in the marriage, in the bedroom etc.? why do they feel the need to cheat... You are married for better or worse. So when it gets back, why run and hide instead of facing the music....

I would seek the divorce only because I wouldn't be able to trust the person... Even if I tried to work it out, I would always wonder when we got into a disagreement is he/she going to cheat... That's no way to live....

macclennyhusband

When I was a baby, I enjoyed my infancy, when I grew up I enjoyed my adultery.

CCShhhh

It depends. If both in the marriage agree to it, then yes as long as the "lover" outside the marriage knows there will be no commitment.

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: