Do you go to a stripclub if your married?

MummaKins

I wouldn't mind if my husband went to a strip club, however, I would mind BIG TIME if he lied about it!
To not have trust in a relationship is a terrible thing, once it's broken it's hard to get back on track again.
Your husband has no right to tell you how you should feel at all, as for the bit about "no one elses wife cares", maybe that is because they don't have a clue about it OR that their husband was honest enough to tell their wife they were going in the first place!!!

Kristiane-Cubical ninja

I do not consider it cheating. However, I do not condone being lied to, which is what would be my main issue here. It is wrong that he finds it okay to lie to you about something that you obviously feel strongly about.

To answer your question though, I have gone to a strip club a couple times with my husband and I was alright with him going for a bachelors party a while back. He did ask me if it was okay with me out of respect though and he didn't make a late night of it, nor did he spend more than the 30 bucks he agreed to ahead of time.

My issue with what you have written is the lying. It destroys trust no matter what it is about and you need trust to have a healthy relationship.

chey_24_az

My ex started by going to strip clubs and lying about it. I found out and he said it was a "guy thing" and it wasn't cheating, etc. I forgave him and tried to be ok with it. Then I found out he went to dinner with another girl and he said they were "just friends" and it wasn't cheating, etc. It was a couple years later I found out he had progressed to having one night stands with random girls online which he still insisted was not cheating because it was not a long term affair, just a need that had to be met while he was away on business. I tried to forgive and move on, and eventually filed for divorce when he never stopped.

I think anything he wouldn't do in front of you is cheating.

Alloy Boy

Personally I've gotten all my stripclubbing out of my system, but he went with a bunch of guys to have fun, I wouldn't worry too much about it, after all he still comes home to you. Now if he went alone, that's another story. He probably should have told you though. I'm male, 29, and I don't think it's cheating.

mimzy

It really doesn't matter how I feel about men going to those places, this is your marriage and you are the one that has to deal with this. He was wrong to keep it from you and, no, you can't trust him. You are going to have to make a decision as to what to do next. Good Luck whatever you decide to do.

Love and respect demands that he cares about how you feel. This is nothing to do with what other people think. If you are uncomfortable with it then he should respect that.

The fact that he didnt tell you is indicative that he already knew you would be upset. Being lied to is not nice!

For me - as long as I felt my husband was upfront and honest and also treated me decently I wouldnt mind if he went as long as he had talked to me about it first. But that is me!

Perhaps you and a bunch of girlfriends need to go to a man strip club! Turn the tables! Take back the power.What is good for the goose miht be good for the gander!

Matt

Hell, I am single and don't go to strip clubs.

Mr.J

If this stuff is bothering you so much I guess you should ask him straight. There is no point beating around the bush.Normally it is not right for married men to go to strip clubs but it again depends May be your husband wanted to get a real change! He was pissed off with things at home.Speak to him politely yet firmly. Relationships are based on trust. If this is not there then things start falling apart! Speak to him as soon as possible telling him your concern. Hope it will help you.

dman63

He should have been honest with you. Maybe he felt a little weird about going and didn't want you to worry about it. That said, he shouldn't have sent that photo around, and he should have deleted it. A little more respect for his wife's feelings would be appropriate. I haven't been to a strip bar in over 20 years (before I met my wife) and I don't have any desire to visit one now.

jed

This is one of those things that should have been discussed before you were married and if he broke the "I promise no stripper's bazonkas will come near me" before the marriage, he broke that promise.

If there is no trust, there is no relationship. If there is no relationship...and you are married...www.drphil.com. If he has lied about something like this, what else has he lied to you about? Start with his closet and clothing. Great cracking. Then check his car while he is asleep. Look in all paint cans in the garage. Those are nasty-man safe havens for planting panties and other assorted inappropriate goodies.

For some reason, he thinks it is okay to disrespect you,and the vows you made to each other and the promises attached with those vows, including no naked strippers and photographic evidence.

If I were married and this happened to me, I would find the nearest bar with hotties and take some pics of my own. An eye for an eye! In this case, a-naked-hottie for a naked-hottie!

tapout232006

I am a 34 year old married woman. I personally see no problem with the strip bar. It isn't cheating. He is our with the guys. When it comes down to it - it is trust. Besides, my guess is the reason he said nothing to you is because he didn't want to get lectured. As soon as you say "you can't do it" - they are going to avoid the communication. That you did to yourself. As far as the cheating aspect goes - i don't think so.

Lillys_Parents

if he has to lie to you, its wrong. Why couldn't he just come out and say hun, i really want to go, i love u so much but im just going with my buds.
Im sure you would have been a little upset(normal) but probably would have let him go. Just liek if u would have sad to him hey hun can i go out with a bunch of girls have have guys push there di*** in my face, i love you, but its just with friends. Im sure he wouldnt have been the happiest either.
I believe its in the cheating category because ur only supposed to see your wife like that. That's what i believe anyway.

Im 17 and married( i know im young but im not stupid)

Bedford S

First it depends on how strong the marriage is. My wife and I are not jealous and talk about everything. My wife has a good attitude on things; I came home from a trip and told her I went to a strip club. Her response was "Well, did you see anything different." She knew there was no need to doubt my fidelity. Saying that I went, now I will tell that I have never went back to one. It was just a matter of curiosity. If you have a great marriage and know your husband, it shouldn't be a problem if he did it one time.

Buongiorno Mi Chiamo JAY

You absolutely have a right to believe this is a form of cheating, but personally, I don't think it is. I been married 14yrs. I'm a Male and I been to several strip clubs (in many different cities). My wife knows that I been to strip clubs before. She doesn't particularly like it, so I choose not to tell her, if I do decide to go to one. However, I don't go as frequent as I used to. She doesn't seem to be as digusted by the lap dances, as she is the money guys waste on these girls.

seth E

Grow Up

Going to a Strip Club with ur mates doesnt man jack

However not disclosing it to u may. But be honest why would he? Did he estimate ur reaction?

As a guy if u went with a heap of buddies well its no foul...

But if i go there on my own well u have something to worry about

As unbelivable as it may seem when i go there now with mate its really seen this before & its a laugh about our youth

My wife was never threatened by me tooling a stripper

& i was cool if she went as well

Dude1

I went to a strip club and told wife afterwards which didn't work out at all. She was hurt and it has caused great sadness. My advice to all the married men out there is give strip clubs a miss, there are better ways to spend your time.

Samantha

I am 27 years old, married going on 6 years, this month actually. My husband just completely lied to me about going to a club, and I found out from other girls, whos men DID NOT lie, that girls were actually sitting with them ALL nite, and even fornicated with each other (the girls) for the men. I want to punch him every time I look at him, and I have not said a word to the puke in two days, lie to me, and in my mind cheat on me? F*** that! Lets put it this way, how would your hubby feel to find a pic of you with a naked guy in your phone, now react just as imaturely as he surely would!

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