Do you have a spouse who...?

â˜… LILF - best viewed sideways â˜…

Did you marry my husband too? My GOD he is ALWAYS crying about SOMETHING and it really gets annoying and old. I mean it's always this or that or blah blah blah. And I can guarantee you that the things I deal with or the aches and pains I have are probably way worse than his but he never hears about it nor do I make a drama case out of it. Why are people like that? Sometimes it gets so old and annoying that I have to get away from him (leave the room or tune his whining out) just to keep my sanity.

Say it Like it Is :)

My husband is always stressed over work. He is getting very angry and starting to take it out on me. I have tried to help him, but he just constantly stresses over it. So whenever I bring up anything that makes me sad or I wish he would do (we have been trying for 2+ years for a baby w/ no luck) he throws it back on me and makes me feel like an idiot. It's always something w/ his job. I can't take it anymore, I need some support too. I think I am filing for seperation or divorce, he won't change. Rather be alone w/ no stress and not w/ a husband that is always stressed about his job. :(

CAMS

Not my spouse but my mother
It would be very hard if it was my spouse. When I care about someone deeply, I can not help but get caught up in their drama. I worry about them. Considering I am a grown man with my own family, I deal with my mother's drama by limiting my contact with her. I love her to death, but, for my own sanity, I can not get caught up in all her madness. If it was my spouse, I do not think I could deal.

iyamacog

Not spouse, but my grown children seem to feel the necessity to do so.
Some folks need confusion, drama, and the likes of such to feel important.........OR they simply know of no other way.
Good Luck on that. I could not tolerate living with daily "emergencies".

Jewels is Blk & Indian

OMG! I know exactly what you mean. He isn't my husband, but this guy I sorta had a crush on---turned me off to like the 100th degree because from the FIRST date he was whining about an ex and then I thought, Okay maybe this was just a bad day. But everyday since then, he always has something negative to talk about or complain about or vent about or sulk about. It's disgusting and demasculates him. I thought I could "fix" it by giving him a tough love talk via a long letter but he still acted the same way. So, I have slowly distanced myself from him. I am no longer attracted to him and I feel sorry for him. I think things like that stay with people until a light bulb goes off and they realize how draining of a person they are.

court court

lol is marrriage fun?

Kyla C

I guess I'll go give my husband a big hug because he is not a drama king and I wouldn't be able to deal with it. I have peace and am drama free----besides young adult children issues. Good Luck!!!

Doc Phil

you should set him up with my exwife

free_angel

My ex was like that. I used to bust up laughing and called him "The Drama King." And sometimes I just called him "The Big Crybaby."

BikerChick

PLEASE do not tell me you did not KNOW this about he and his family BEFORE you chose to marry him!?

Whiners and complainers are NEVER coy or shy about it. In fact, they SEEK people like you and me. The instant I realize these people are that way, I RUN, unless they genuinely have sought me out for HELP. I have on more than one occasion helped someone realize the mistakes they were making, and they changed for better. To me, ignorance or arrogance makes a person disgusting to even look at - I have no time or energy to waste listening to them at all.

YOU need to ASK your husband WHY he feels he needs to bring his drama to you. TELL HIM that UNLESS he really wants to CHANGE anything, AND is totally willing to LISTEN to your advice, he needs to find a BETTER way to deal with it. You are NOT a toilet for him to sh** on, and maybe it is time for him to seek counseling.

SOME people who have lived their entire lives in drama, have no CLUE how else life should be. To THEM this IS life. The only way to get them to realize this, is to bluntly and honestly TELL THEM this is NOT right, and refuse to get involved in it. When he brings on the drama, WALK AWAY, close your ears, and IGNORE IT. He CANNOT stress you out unless you LET him. He will stop whining when you stop listening to it. You getting emotional over his problems FEEDS his need to involve you, because to HIM, it is normal to be emotionally distraught! The more people he gets to feel like he does, the happier he is!!

My husband USED to be a lot like yours. AND like you, my family is nothing like his. I REFUSE to go to his family functions, I never invite them over, and I never ask how they are. It took a bit of time, but finally my husband realized WHY by seeing the truth in what I said about them, has changed his ways, and rarely talks to them anymore. I give him a lot of credit for that. It is not easy to change, but in the right environment and with the right people, it CAN be done.

David C

my ex wife is like that. so was her family....should have seen it all coming down the tracks instead of getting run over by it.

marypoppins

i dont like drama, so i didnt marry a drama king. i like life calm and content. a person can be passionate, without being filled w/ so much drama. i find this to be turn off. it might be amusing for now, but i'm sure it'll get old real quick. i would tune him out.

Darla

I think it depends on the issues. If its one issue over and over, maybe you need to help him deal with it or it won't go away. But if its new things all the time and just always creating new drama, you should definitely point it out and let him know you are tired of it. Your husband may have no idea he is doing it. He may just think he is sharing how he feels. I think you definitely gotta talk to him either way. Like I said before, if its the same issue over and over again, help him figure it out. Help him make a plan to fix it.

Confidential

Well there are a lot of possible reasons for the issues. It sounds like he has depression and maybe some sort of anxiety disorder. What I would do, is tell him you want to start counseling, go to a psychologist with him, and let him start therapy. Then if it isn't helping to the extent that he is more relaxed, suggest that he see either his primary doctor or a psychiatrist for medications. He may only need them for a short term. I have several family members, and myself included, that were on anti-depressants for a short time and then once the therapy did its magic, we were able to be weaned off of the anti-depressants.

Also... you can recommend that you both take a walk before or after dinner every night. Walking, or any sort of exercise, will help destress him. It is also very healthy for both of you. If you live where the weather isn't very permitting I would suggest both of you join a gym.

Even though you don't stress or sweat the small stuff, he does, and because you are married, and took those vows, it does sort of relegate you to having to help him along for you both to be content and healthy. I hope he gets better, nobody wants to go through life with too much stress.... and stress causes physical ailments that could eventually kill you.

Good Luck

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