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whiskeyman510
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The short answer is yes, he's being selfish, particularly since he's endangering the welfare of his son.
If you were married he's in a particularly dangerous spot since you're aware of his potential infidelity. Depending on the state you live in, you could take a lot more than his jeep.
If you were not married, his only real obligation will be the court mandated child support. The court will not view the mortgage as his responsibility as he is no longer living there.
I would obtain the services of an attorney before the mortgage company decides to forclose. You may have to get dirty, but since you're son's welfare is at stake here, I think that's OK. Document what you can prove with the infidelity and give that to the attorney.
I would also send the mortgage company something each month by the first, as they can't claim you're late if you make partial payments on time. Alternately you could talk to the mortgage company about options as they don't want to forclose on you in today's market any more than you want to be forclosed on. |
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nite_angelica
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I know what he did wasn't the right thing, but when he left at Christmas you should have started going to school part-time and working full-time.
You understood the situation and that you were now going to be responsible for your own bills. The unselfish thing to do for your son would have been to get a job.. or two if part-time jobs were all you could do at the time.
If he's been completely paying the mortgage for the last 5 months, then no I don't think he should have to sell his Jeep. I think you should make an effort to support yourself and your son.
Women get divorced all the time and have to go to work. It's not the end of school, it will just take you longer to finish. |
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jam_please
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Yes, yes and yes. You are right, he is wrong. It sounds to me like this man is still a boy and has to keep all of his toys. |
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mimbecky
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He is your ex and it doesn't matter if you think he is selfish or not. He has his priorities and they are different from yours. Good thing he is your ex. Is your name on the loan too? Sounds like you need a lawyer if so. If not, then your credit shouldn't be effected. |
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smartypants909
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I don't think selling the Jeep is going to fix everything, but it sounds like he is not willing to give up his lifestyle. |
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Laura W
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so selfish |
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ScripRx
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You still have chain on him, just like Val has on me . Let it go and get a lawyer. |
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louisa c
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yes..he needs to grow up and be a man...i am so sick of all these pseudo-man-child-people walking aroung breathing good air. |
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muse5878
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Go to the courthouse and fill out forms so that you can get child support and spousal support. Have them take the funds out of his wages instead of him giving them directly to you. This way you will know exactly how much money you will be getting each month and the date you can expect the money. In my state you don't need to hire a lawyer to apply for child support and alimony. Do this ASAP because sometimes it takes awhile for this to go through. My ex wanted to pay me directly and not through the court and eventually he stopped giving me any money for the kids so I had the court garnish his wages. Do what is in you and your child's best interest, not his. |
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SmartA$$
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sounds like you need to sell the house, finalize the divorce and rid yourself of concern for his finances. Then find an apartment with reasonable rent and focus on making ends meet.
I agree its stupid to hang onto a jeep that he doesn't need. but since you're in the process of divorcing him, he's probably not going to listen to anything you say, no matter how logical it is, and he's not going to sacrifice something he likes so that he can pay for something he's going to loose anyway (the house). |
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tjmgyo
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yes |
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hfp22
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Yes he is being selfish and irresponsible. If he doesn't want to sell the jeep he should be looking for a second job. If not for you then at least for his son. Sounds like a poor husband and a lousy father. It seems like you are better off without him. You should consider looking for a roommate (female) to get a place with that may also have a kid. My friend did this and she is doing well because her roommate is very supportive and she for her too. |
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teeman824
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Yes he is acting like a little boy. |
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naplliny
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Call the mortgage company & explain to them you had some financial issues & they will work out a repayment plan for you. And yes hubby is being selfish. I agree. Kids come first not a jeep. |
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K M
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He is being immature about his responsibilities, for sure. But honestly, he would not be able to make enough money off the sale of the vehicle to make that big of a difference in the situation. Taking off work and paying for gas to ride the thing is what is getting him in trouble. Unfortunately, unless you get a court order to garnish his wages I'm not sure how to solve your problem. Next time you will know to choose your mates better. |
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snape4good
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It's obvious that he is very selfish... He puts himself ahead of his child. |
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Marcie
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Talk to the people that hold your mortgage. I have a friend that talked to them and they gave her a break as she puts it up for sale. Bank wanted to avoid a foreclosure just like she did... there are too many of them these days
Talk to a lawyer about your financial arrangements with your husband... if you can't afford it.. call legal aid. Take action now.
It doesn't sound like you can wait for him to pick up the slack. |
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jazzy
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omg, he's REALLY REALLY selfish. my god. he's got a kid, but now he's acting like one. i c y he's your EX. |
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David S
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Yes, of course he's being selfish. However, you should also be prepared to sacrifice in order to pay the mortgage. You need a full time job now so that you can support your child. And your husband needs to provide child support even though he's not been ordered to do so just yet. |
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Cabrõn
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Of course that's the reasonable solution, but a selfish guy who throws his marriage away doesn't deal in 'reasonable'.
Have you talked to a lawyer? The money he is making should go directly into the bank to pay for the house and support you and his child, not allow him to fuel up his toys and chase skirts on the sand dunes all weekend.....
Sorry for your predicament...hope things work out for you and your son. |
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Perdendosi
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Probably is. But this is one of the pains of divorce. You can't make him sell it, and he probably feels like he's already lost his family and his home, and his job is going into the crapper... all he probably has left is his jeep and those fleeting days where he can go out and have fun.
Have you filed for divorce yet? Talk to an attorney quickly, because even though you can't make him sell his car, you CAN make him pay maintenance and child support, and he has to come up with the money no matter what. Plus, if the jeep was purchased while you were married, it may be in the "community" or it can be offset as his share of the assets so you can get something and sell it.
Seeing that you're behind, it sounds like the only option is to sell the house and get out while you can. |
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nurse ratchet
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Hmmmm, hard question. I feel you should try to stand on your own feet, and quit depending on him to support you. Find another PT job if you have to.
He could also ask you to quit school to save money, how would that make you feel? |
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astralpen
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Get out of the house and get your own place. |
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soccermom
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Ya-I do I know because sadly I am selling my 4-runner I love
so much to keep our head above water.And ya my husband
wouldn't think about selling his.(MEN)and funny enough my
husbands a salesman as well.sales are down on cars lately. |
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kate
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yeah i think he is being selfish.... he needs to get his priorities in order!!! he needs to sell his jeep and once he gets back on his feet he could buy another one!!
hopefully you can convince him to sell it
good luck!!! :) |
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Nick Z
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A lot of people borrow money irresponsibly. And the best thing that can happen to them is to have their credit rating ruined in such a way that they can't borrow any more.
There is nothing terrifying about not being able to borrow money and having any debts to pay off. It seems to me that having huge debts hanging over your head is a lot more terrifying than not being able to go into debt is.
But it's not suprsing that your ex now doesn't have much motivation to support his family. When the family relationship is broken and he doesn't live with the family any more. Then rightly or wrongly he feels in some way that he doesn't have a family anymore.
Only the courts and the police can force him to pay. This is what often happens when people break up their family and get divorced. |
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Jennifer S
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Cut your loses and run!!! Make sure you have a separation agreement that states who gets what money when the house is sold and the mortgage is paid off. The agreement should also detail how much support you and your son will receive. See a lawyer and find out your options. You don't want your name associated with his if his credit is going down, they'll come after you if you're easier to find. |
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test pilot
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First of all never trust a car salesman. Secondly unless that jeep (which you say is an older model) is worth a heck of a lot of money it would only be a temporary fix and in a day or so you would be right back where you are now and the jeep would be gone. I suggest you try another way to solve your problems. Perhaps it would be best if you move out of the house and let the bank foreclose on him. Try to find a good friend or family member that can take you in until you can get on your own 2 feet. You sound like an intelligent person so I'm sure you will do well eventually. Just look at this period of time as a bump in the road and try to move on. Think positive! |
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Mandy P
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He's obviously is selfish since you are no longer together. |
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Darkcity
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he doesn't care about the house because he is not living there. Can your relatives help? My advice is to pack up and leave. stop paying the mortgage because it seems that he cant. Sort something else out and start saving for your own place. He is being selfish. You should try now to sort things out but remember he is in the wrong. Hope your problems are soon solved. |
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