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seanwill100
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I agree with you on this. First, he should have more respect for you. Second, at age 7 the kid should be sleeping in his own bed, regardless if it's only for a weekend or not. Thirdly, if he's doing it to compensate for time he doesn't spend with him, he should simply spend more time with his son doing father/son stuff. I don't think sleeping with his son is a great relationship builder. My father was almost never around between age 1-8 because he traveled a lot for work. But when he did come home for holidays, he made sure I was #1 priority and always explained why he was away so often. I turned out fine and we have a great relationship today. I think maybe your bf should realize why this is a problem for you and also that sleeping with his son isn't doing much for their relationship if that's the only thing he's doing. |
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mishoney
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time for you to go shopping this is not healty for him you or the child |
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common_sense_don't_hurt
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Hmm. First your BF goes thru a divorce and loses custody of his son (93% of fathers nationwide don't get custory). He gets to be with his child, what? two weekends a month and a couple of hours on Wednesday evening? Both he and the child want to sleep together.
YOUR reaction to this? Instead of being understanding and supportive, you've decided to quit sleeping with him to teach him some sort of lesson?
After my divorce, I was dating a woman who sounds a LOT like you. She finally told me to make a choice as far as who was the higher priority: her or my son.
Guess what? I threw her a** out that very day and never looked back (despite the MANY phonecalls about how I was misunderstanding what she said).
To the point, missy: girlfriends come and go. Our children are forever.
You might want to think about where you're heading in this fight that you can't possibly win. |
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Violet Pearl
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How gross. All these people with their mis-matched kids and previous-relationship children bickering over who gets to sleep in whose bed. I'm disgusted that you are having sleep-overs with a man you're not married to with children watching!!! You're disrespecting yourself. No, you're not very important- his CHILD is more important than you-- you're just daddy's gal-pal.
If it matters so much to you, stop having sleep-overs and get married.
Gee, a father trying to compensate for the time he doesn't spend with his child- isn't that horrible? LOL
Yeah, you're so wrong. |
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Forever50
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Move on...you will always be in second place |
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Sheik Yerbouti
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Get over it.
I sleep in the same bed w/ my kids (ages 8 and 10) quite often. And before I get flamed, there's nothing perverted or abusive about it, they just like sleeping with me.
Frankly, I'm surprised he even lets you spend the night when he has his kids. I don't. I only have ladies spend the night on those days when my kids are with their mom (my ex). |
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Phil
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first off...you think you should come before his son? I think that's messed up...second...you want his son to sleep with your daughters in the same room??? talk about uncomfortable...his son is 7...that's way too old for co-ed living. you two are not married...i think it would send a wrong message to his son if you two slept in the same room....i think you need to stop thinking of yourself and looking more at the father and son relationship |
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Frank
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It's disrespectful to sleep with your BF while his son is in the house. Maybe you should have a girl's night out when he comes over or something similar if you don't like it. But it's not a good example for teh kid if you are sleeping with Dad. Plus, if he only gets to see him a few times, I'm sure he wants quality time with his son. |
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kristie_ann22
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You are only a girlfriend, not a fiance or even a wife. You guys sound like you are moving way too fast if your already living together. It's his son for crying out loud!! |
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kane
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OMG what is wrong with YOU? You need serious help. You are actually jealous of a 7 year old boy! If he were staying with you permanently then you might have a valid complaint. The child isn't getting the message that he is more important than you. He is getting the message that he is important to his daddy and that his daddy will keep him safe. I don't believe you would be willing to turn your daughter's room into a dual room that is shared and has 2 twin beds in it with stuff specifically decorated on one side with things he is interested in. Then you could say , "This is your home too when your here ; and here's your special place to stay."
Keep in mind that the mother of the child isn't sleeping with him ; the child is. Also, the child's mother could use the fact that you are sleeping in the room with them as leverage for getting the visitation revoked.
Quit robbing the joy of the son's visit by creating an unncessary issue due to your jealousy. |
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Le_Roche
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No, it's not appropriate at all. If he doesn't see that it's not good for his son or the relationship, then you might want to consider moving on. |
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Liz
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A SEVEN YEAR OLD IS TOO DAM BIG TO SLEEP WITH A PARENT. Y'all should have a big enough place and every child should have their own room. If he is afraid of the dog, close the door. I love my guy, but I get infuriated if his kids even climb into bed with us. NO NO NO NO WAY you should sleep on the couch, but neither should the child. Every child in this house needs their own room. If dad can't afford a big enough house, he shouldn't have had a kid to begin with. I pay for a 4 bedroom instead of a 2 bedroom so my guy kids have their own beds and rooms. A differenc of $600 or $700 a month. |
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Richard G
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Only legal in West Virginia!!!!! |
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kmcdonald
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His son is 7 years old and sleeps over for weekend visits. So...
1. The kid has to sleep in a house that he is not his "regular."
2. Sounds like he is scared of the dark
3. Gets to see his Dad on "weekend visits."
and now the poor kid has to content with your petty jealousy?
Get over yourself and let your boyfriend and son have some alone time. You should be glad your boyfriend is the type of guy who wants to emotionally care for his child and you should be more supportive for your bf and for this child. |
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charmz21lucky
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No I would be bothered by it too. If the son is so scared of the puppy then maybe he could sleep on the floor next to you or put the puppy in your room and have the son sleep on the couch. I don't think that parents should allow their children to sleep with them. |
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mj_jll
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sounds a little creepy to me. |
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Kim Y
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Absolutely NOT right! It needs to stop now, before it becomes a habit with the son, but you are right--it is definately disrespectful to you. That is YOUR bed too. Worse comes to worse, I would make him a bed on the floor in your room, before he took my bed or send the BF out to the couch with the son. They can camp out together.
I don't know how good it is to put the step kids together being different genders. Crazy things have happened in those situations, even to trustworthy kids. After all, they are curious.
Good luck. |
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Madeamove
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NO WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!... |
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ashley c
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TELL HIM THAT YOU ARE SLEEPING IN YOUR BED AND HIS SON IS SLEEPING IN THE OUTHER ROOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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Surf n' Snow
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LOL!!
no! |
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kierstead
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that would be the day! i would never give up my side of the bed! he can be a good father and make other sleeping arrangments for his childern. don't give in on this one! |
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JustMe
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Wow. I would have flipped out. There would be no way I would sleep on the sofa in my own house for a child to take my place. Why should a 7 yr old boy be sleeping with his father anyway ? I agree with you that it is totally disrespectful to you. I would look at this behavior as a major cause for concern. |
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Justsyd
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You don't have to move. You need to stand up for yourself and say no. If he can't respect that, get a new boyfriend. |
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bluedanube69
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Children need to sleep in their own bed... I think it is wrong to have a 7 yr sleep with dad..... he needs his own room........ |
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abranch98
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There are a couple of things wrong with this set-up. First of all, a 7-year-old sleeping in the same bed as thier parent is completely inappropriate. Second, booting you out of the room when his child comes over sends completely the wrong message to the child. I hope you don't budge on this one. Blended families are a challenge for everyone; maybe family counseling is in order. Maybe it would make a difference for your boyfriend to hear from an objective professional how inappropriate this situation is. |
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jam
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kick him and his son on the coach then you are right to be mad as h?ll that is so wrong on many levels. that sounds funny as h?ll something is not right there. you have tryed to make it work out by locking the puppy in your room when he is there but thats not good enough he said something is really wrong with that. |
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lily
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I don't think parents should be shacking up with bf's and gf's and exposing children with this kind of behavior. May I suggest you get your own place with your own daughter OR get married. |
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Whatcha Doin???
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You are definitely not wrong!! What the h*** is wrong with your man??? Sweetie it's about that time that you put your foot down! I mean who is really the child here YOU or his kid??? DO not put with that crap! YOU are an adult and kid or no kid you have and must be treated with respect! Get your man and tell him what's up! Put an end to this! I'm sure he would not like it one bit if he were the one sleeping on the couch whenever one of your kids came to sleep over!!! Hey if it helps then stay away from him as long as you can and hopefully he will get the hint! You are playing no games, pup my a**! Get him in the other room! NOW! |
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doclakewrite
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If you are both cohabiting together, sharing bills and each other and responsibilities, then you have a very valid point. It is your home and you live there 24-7.. guests stay in the guestroom.
If he wants to sleep with him, send him into the guestroom.
I wouldn't give up my bed to anyone... This is not the message you want to send to the kid... he might learn that he will always be first to your bf. before yo everytime... not healthy....
If you intendf to stay iin this relationship, you had better confront him and tell him it is not gooing to happen anymore,. If he is not happy too bad... it is your house and you shouldn't be inconvenienced just because a child comes to visit.....
The mistake you made was letting it happen the first time..... put your foot down and don't budge.......let him know before the child comes back so there is no scene made.....You are right, he is wrong....... |
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lela
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My companion sleeps with his 11 1/2 yr. old during the week. Before you know it he will be going through puberty. The boy will be made fun of by his friends soon. When I'm there I take the appropriate steps with the sleeping arrangements. When his son comes over to stay with him...he should be in the spare bedroom not in bed with his Father. If he was 5 I wouldn't have a problem with it. The boy watches inappropriate videos on MTV,Jersey Shore,has a very expensive cell phone and is allowed to see R rated movies! Why is he in bed with Dad? I keep quiet and mind my own business...but do not agree with this. |
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