Do you think this is lying to my hubby?

Ms. Mimsie

Use half of the money for the loan and save up half for the ring. Don't just buy the ring on a payment plan, that's throwing money away in interest. Save up until you have enough to get what you want.

abc

you'd be smarter to help him with the school loan that you both owe .... then buy a diamond.......

Jackey C

Well you should wait. Maybe he has something planned for you!! Bring it up and see what he says. If he is against the whole ring thing then ask him how he would feel if you bought one for yourself. I don't think buying it without him knowing would be a good idea.

spaznskitz

Well, he is going to see it on your finger so it isn't like you can keep it from him as to what you did.

Look, this is your wedding ring you are talking about - it is supposed to have meaning for BOTH of you - he needs to be a part of the purchase...

you might end up hurting and offending him if you replace your wedding ring without talking to him about it. He may want to buy it for you himself, due to the meaning - hense why he wants to wait until the loan is paid off.

Dane Train

talk to him about it...any money coming into your marriage is technically shared funds...let him know what you want and see what he thinks, but do not lie to him, whatever you do. talk it out and come to an understanding, this will avoid and unpleasant arguments.

heartless

what do you want a dimond ring for?! a ring is something a man pickes out to show his love for you not something you go and show off how rich you look!

AnOrdinaryGuy

Instead of buying it on credit, which will cost you more, why not save up and buy it with cash? And I hope you will shop around because diamond prices are negotiable.

If the deal is that you get to keep what you earn and spend it any way you see fit (and not for household expenses) then I think you can buy a diamond with it. I just don't think it's a good idea to put yourself in debt for a luxury item you don't really need. Suppose you lose your job, or have emergency expenses, how will you pay for the diamond then?

Worried wife

I really think you should talk about it with your husband. A diamond ring can wait but you should get out of debt before you get more into it. you never know what will happen in the next week so maybe you should put it away for an emergency or accident. He did say it was your play money so why not just tell him what you want to do and then compramise.

Blade_III

Do not buy that diamond if you respect your husband at all. Your husband has provided well for you and your family. He is being responsible by paying his school loan first. Yes, the part-time job is your play money, but buying the ring replaces what he did for you. If you want the ring sooner, put some of your money to paying off the student loan. That's less in interest etc. Then when it's paid off he'll probably have even more money to buy an even bigger rock, if that's what you want. But don't buy the ring, it's an insult to him. It's saying that he can't give you what you want, even though he's working his butt off for you and your family.

Ben R

no
he wants to buy it for you.
let that be your fun money
put down payments on the car or something.

let him buy the diamond.

he will feel horrible if you buy your own ring.

mac&cheese

Maybe he wants to be the one to buy it for you. Just a thought.

No one

You need to talk to him, because this ring is a symbol of your love. If he is okay with you buying it then go ahead. If he doesn't want you to buy it then it is probably because it is a "wedding" ring and he wants to buy it for you. Why don't you compromise and buy yourself some other ring, but don't wear it as a wedding ring, and let the man who loves you get that one when he can. It is a matter of pride for him. At least that is what I think is going on.

faith

You should tell your husband. You should be able to tell your husband anything and if you have to keep something from him it is bound to cause trouble! I think he is just trying to make good financial decisions. It makes sense to pay off his loan then get a diamond. That way you only have one thing at a time that you are paying on. I know you are making money but it is both of yours and you both need to be in agreeance on what the money is spent on. If you are buying yourself a ring you would be going behind his back and not keeping the agreement that you two made. You should be patient, the time will come when you can afford a ring. It's best to pay off bills before adding new ones!

sharon b

I think that you should help him pay off his school loans and then that would allow him to pick out a good ring for you and he'd be happy. I think if you picked it out it would make him feel a little upset. Just ask him about it and see what he says.

Lucci

You are paying for your own wedding ring??? This is desperate and tackier than sending yourself flowers on Valentine's Day. Is a ring really that important or is this just for show and tell for the other women to see ??

blueyes

First off I would tell him "My" play money is â€œOURâ€ play money. Express to him how you feel. Tell him your ring is a constant reminder of the love the bond you both share. It will get you go through difficult times of your relationship. Look at your hand seeing that ring on your finger. You can get through anything.

Take OUR play money and let him pick an inexpensive ring out for the time being like at Wal-Mart. They are fairly cheap. You donâ€™t need a payment plan.

He just thinking he already has a huge debt with the student loan he doesnâ€™t want to get over whelmed in debt. I would go ahead and help him pay on his student loan. The quicker it gets paid off the faster you get your ROCK. Then just think you will have 2 diamonds.

C T

Some men feel that that the ring and the diamond is their responsibility to pay for as a matter of tradition and pride. Kinda like in the old days thinking that if you can't afford to give your wife a big diamond you can't afford to support your family or some b.s. like that. As long as waiting to buy the ring isn't a pride thing for him I don't see why it would be a problem. However if it seems really important to him that he buy it for you then be patient and wait for it. It's not worth hurting his pride or his feelings over.
I would tell him about it though because he'll know sooner or later and it would be better you tell him then to have him look at your hand one day and go "Where did that come from?". lol

pennypoolblue

tell him u want 2 buy it because u really really want one, if he said it was ur play money he should be fine w/ it

Girliegirl

Yes I would consider that lying. How would you explain all of the sudden sporting around a new diamond ring if you don't tell him? Or are you only planning on wearing it when he's not around. Then you wouldn't get too much enjoyment from it. I think you would be happier about it and proud if you are honest right from the start. He may not understand your diamond thing, but is there anything he is into that you don't get to compare it to for him, like fishing, hunting, or tools. I would just say I don't' get why you like those either, but I wouldn't stop you from doing them if we could afford it. Or something to that effect.......Don't try to hide it. It will only create problems where there doesn't need to be any.

Yvette D

Maybe this is something he wants to do for you....He knows how important you are to him and how much you derseve that ring..Don't take that away from him...If he was someone else he would tell you to buy your own ring with your own money instead it means more to him for you not to worry about it and to let him deal with it...Thats something thats admirable...He really loves you and values you***
Let us know when you get it***

Domino

It wouldn't mean as much to him if 'you' bought it...You should wait and hopefully he will buy it for you one day...it will mean more to you as well.....But, it's your money, he said it's yours to spend as you like...maybe if you bought something special for him, he might understand the meaning of giving and want to reciprocate.....it's a gamble, but hey......

littlepink_sweetie

dont hide anything,,talk about everything,,the guilt will eat u up and make your stomch hurt,,,,

kathy<!--

that's not fair what if he would like to get it for you as a surprise one day and you spoil it for him I don't think anything else would satisfy you so give him a chance when he is ready to get one he will..... when you make a man so stressed out for something that can wait he wont want to do it any longer.... why don't you use your check on something he likes and something he needs and let him be happy that your not being selfish and maybe he will surprise you one day.....

Wifeforlife

You are a family. The family income is FAMILY INCOME no matter what he may call your "play money". How could you possibly justify buying a diamond ring when you have student loans to pay? That is totally poor money management and shows a high level of immaturity. You should be sitting down together and planning a future for your child. You are a stay-at-home mom . Great. But that means your husband brings in the cash and you both earn that income as you are "managing" the house and child and allowing him the comfort and security to be able to work well. You should be adding your money to the household income and setting aside money for your child's education and a holiday together and savings. You should be able to add personal spending money to your budget to allow you to do nice things for yourself like hair styling or manicures. When you're doing this budget together, you could mention how much you'd love to have a diamond ring and then the two of you can add "ring savings" to your household budget. That way, you are agreeing, you're making a joint decision, and he is paying for the ring as well. That is what a marriage is and that is the way marriages last. Not "my money, his money". Nu-uh. And to even consider getting a ring for yourself on payments is such poor thinking, it's scary! What if your little job ended? Then your house money is going to a loan/payment for an extravagance for YOU. Your husband didn't say NO. He wisely said you should wait until student loans are paid. Sounds like you married a good man who works hard to support his family. A man who has both feet on the ground, knows his responsibilities, and knows the priorities that are best for your family. Don't screw this up! So many girls say that they don't want or need a diamond ring when they are brand-new in love and just want to be married. They tell the guy that the diamond is not important. all "I need is you, honey". Guys are open, simple creatures. They hear what you say and take it at face value. It is just not cool to play games and then decide you want it all.

LJG

If the money is yours to do what you want with, then there's no harm in that.

But if you don't tell him, won't he wonder where a diamond came from when it suddenly appears on your finger??

Tell him you've decided what you want to do with your play money and it makes you happy to do it. He shouldn't have a problem with that.

Good luck!

ronidl76

Didn't you already ask this?

Geez, no, you're not lying to your husband. He got you a puny diamond ring, and god forbid you show that little thing around. You are a princess, who deserves no less than a 2 carat perfect diamond on that precious hand. He's not a good husband, and you're way too good for him! How dare he be responsible and want to pay off his debts before getting you a bigger diamond! I can't believe you married him anyway.

Absolutely ridiculous! LMAO...and quit giving the thumbs down when someone says something you don't want to hear!

Hershey Highway road thug

Save your money and pay for it in full.

Or you could go on vacation, or invest it.

TXboy

I think you should always be honest with your husband, especially about money. Try to express to him how much it means to you to have a ring.

LuckyEddie

Give him your check then ask him for the same amount back and put it towards your ring. He'll think he bought it and you'll get the ring!

King Matthew

Tell him how important it is to you. If he's not willing to understand how important it is to you, don't get discouraged. If the money is your "play money," play with it. Get your diamond toy.

Tree70

I wouldn't do it if I were you, It will have no meaning what so ever to you if you have to buy your own diamond. Tell him not to be so cheap and buy you a wedding diamond .Take him shopping with you and pick something you like and tell him to buy it for you. I have never heard of any woman having to buy her own wedding diamond before, Makes you wonder if he really loves you.

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