Does ONE TIME make you a bad husband?

Nena S

I hope your wife has a father, two or three muscular brothers, and a couple of cousins who lift weights....They should all come and pay you a visit.

Maybe if they beat the hell out of you only ONE TIME, you will learn your lesson and become a good husband.

Cork Soaker

your old wife has been punched. that woman is gone. no woman can ever be the same after being punched.

and to answer your q, yes.

Unfortunately, you will never have your old wife back. Once you go down that road, there is no turning back. I divorced my last husband over his one time event, he did it in front of my children that were not his.

Even though you lost your anger just one time and punched her, from now on that will be the expectation of every fight. You should have her go to some counseling to deal with how she feels about what you did. That won't make it "right" but she might get better and be able to cope and deal easier.

You also might take some anger management classes, that will help you, and will help her on the way she views you.

gkarl3rd

You need to show her that you are safe. Arrange to attend an anger management course. You have to show remorse for what you did... which your question does not show. She's right to be cautious of you. You lost it once, you can lose it again.

GET HELP NOW.

Good luck and God bless.

Callie

You have crossed the line. You say you won't do it again but look at the last line of your post. You sound controlling and want things 'your' way. You probably hit her because she did something or said something that you did not agree with, again this is a 'controllers' actions. You really are lucky at least your wife is only walking on egg shells because I would be walking out the door!

jemmamomma

Yes, one time is one time too many. You need to get help to ensure that it never happens again. I don't think I've ever heard of someone hitting someone only once and then never doing it again, and that's why she's on eggshells.

my first and only love

you punch me , i will kick your a@@, and so will my family.

orangebuttercat74

You punched her?! And now that she's gun-shy it's pissing you off?!
You need help... maybe she'll support you, but you'll need to earn her trust again, if that ever happens.
I'd be scared of you, too... actually, I wouldn't have to be, you'd be locked up.

MS1979

You should've never hit her. One time is ONE TO MANY. A man shouldn't hit a woman ever. Your are bigger and stronger than her, she is defenseless. I doubt you will be able to repair that. Take it from a battered woman. What's to say the next argument won't be bigger and that you won't hit her again?

}}}~~~~>

Go get some counseling so it doesn't happen again.

This stuff tends to get worse.

You ARE an abuser; stop looking for justification or minimizing and get help.

If you want your "old wife" back it is going to take a lot of time and trust building.

(Not you sulking and acting like it isn't your fault.)

Poppet

Yes. One time does make you a bad husband.

Edit- Yes, it is unfair to be punched by the person who supposedly loves you the most.

Catlover

Yes you are a bad husband and yes you are an abuser.

Duce5wee74u

Wow she will never be the same around you again. Its like when you hurt your self when your young, once it happens it stays in the back of your mind and you will always watch out for it. Remember the first time you touched or seen a little one touch something hot after being warned?? That child always goes around watching out or quickly recognizing that something is hot or even close to it. Sorry buddy the only thing you can do is love on your wife to the point where she begins to slowly forget about it. Try leaving the next time you get into a heated argument.

happy wifey

I have never heard of anybody being able to do it just once. You need to go to anger management to prove to her that you will not do it again. She is scared of you and for a good reason. It is not her fault. It is yours.

munkeroos

I have a rule in my relationships

You even raise a hand to me, with the intention of hurting me with it - buh bye. You don't even have to make contact - but if you're even capable of contemplating hurting me and almost doing it - you're capable of doing it - and I dont need that.

So to answer, yes. Even threatening to hit someone in a relationship is bad enough to leave. You're lucky she hasn't walked out yet. I dont understand why she hasn't though.

DEZI

hell yeah it does she needa leave you or do her a favor leave her

simplesilverstar

Nope.If you have truly repented and showed her love and genuine care, time can heal her of the memory of being punched.She may remember but at least the pain is eased off.Just keep on loving her and assure her that you are a changed man.Help her to have confidence in you again.Take care!:)

michelle.

One time is ONE time too many. Your wife probably didn't think you were capable of being like that, and now is wondering what else you are capable of. I would be walking on eggshells too. Abuse is a scary thing. And just to let you know. Abuse is like a snowball .. one time, two times .. it just keeps rolling and getting bigger. So you can't just say it was one time.. for now it was one time, but what about next time you get upset??
I would seek some help, maybe that will calm her nerves a little.

momrfg2003

She has every reason to be scared. The second time is easier to resolve by hitting. Instead of getting angry with her and getting her more scared, why not be patient and gentle with her? Maybe even offer to get anger management counseling?

EDIT: Then fix your mistake instead of complicating it!

I got answers!

Yes that one time makes you a bad husband!! You punched your wife and you come on here complaining b/c of how she's acting now?? ONE-time incident or not you are a sorry man!!

U Can't Handle The Truth

"I'm not an abuser" ............

Yes you are. One time is not an excuse. Poor you! Hope she leaves your ***. Big man you are!

Your wife is supposed to trust you. Now do you really think she will have that trust any longer. I am hott headed and a very grumpy man but i dont take it out on my love. No way! I usually just kick the dog.

Sorry dude you have been labeled! Your a wife-beater and will always be just that to her now.

Buck

Sometimes we make mistakes that changes the way a person looks at us forever. One time is all it takes just one time to make a mistake that you have to live with for the rest of your life..... The old wife is gone because she had a husband that had never laid a hand on her before...... You can never go back in time and change that now you just have to deal with the consequences of your actions...... Of course she is walking around on egg shells that is natural.... If you were playing with a dog for hours having fun and then all at once he bite you then you are always wondering when and if he will do it again...Sorry for the bad analogy but hopefully you get the point...... You just can't go around mistreating your wife ( not even once ) and expect her to still see you as a great husband!!!

notyou311

Yes, abuse always starts with a first time. Get anger management now. See a counselor.
I would have left you. No one will ever punch me and remain married to me.

littleluvkitty

yeah hitting your wife at all makes you not only a bad husband but a bad man.

crazylegs

Poetic, sadly this event has caused a lot of stress and it will take a long time for things to return to normal. Although your wife may and probably will forgive you through time, the fact is that she will never forget what you have done. Perhaps the two of you need to seek the help of a professional relationship or marriage counselor, this may help. You should be doing everything and anything possible to make amends and beg forgiveness of your wife. It has never been cool to hit a women but today it is much more frowned upon then days of old when it was kept very secretive. Regardless of when it happened the fact is it did happen and there is always the possibility of history repeating itself, so you have to prove to yourself and your wife that indeed it was a ONE-time incident. Best of luck.

sarahmcgeachy

well your the one that changed her, if youd of kept your hands to yourself then youd have your old wife, go get some anger management , show her you mean it when you say it wont happen again, its up to you to build her trust in you again..personally if it were me youd hit you wouldnt get another chance to cos id be off..would you like a punch??no i bet..think on what goes round comes round..put yourself in her shoes and wise up abit

à®Ginà®

Well hun what do you expect? You can't hit her and expect her to be lovie dovie with you. What you did was wrong and you should just be glad that she didn't call the cops. If my husband punched me he wouldn't be allowed near me or my kids. You need to understand that one time is enough for someone to be afraid of you.

There is no reason why you should be pissed off, you didn't get hit. If you want your old wife back, let her know how sorry you are and that you will NEVER lay another hand on her again. Stick to that promise no matter how mad you get. If you feel that you are getting to that boiling point, walk away. Don't ever, I mean ever do that again. Cause next time (if there is) she will probably take your a$$ to court.

clio

One time so far, but gee, she's scared of you now and that's pissing you off. Maybe you'll get so pissed off you'll hit her again, just to try to 'knock some sense into her' - you know?
If I was her I'd be walking in eggshells too. Nobody's fault but your own. If you want your old wife back you'll have to work hard to bring her back - just shouting for her won't help.

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