Does his wife know? Should he leave her for me?

Macy

Do you care if his wife knows? Would it make a difference? Face what reality? That "she" got pregnant (obviously he had nothing to do with it) and tries hard to create a life for her child. Now she is frustrated and in a no win situation but probably lacks the funds, education and or self esteem to get herself into a better situation.
I am not going to bad mouth your man. He is entitled to be whomever he chooses in life...what is he choosing? To step away from responsibilities. He's a guys guy and when you're not the "new toy" in his life and going out with the guys looks fun again, I sure hope you haven't decided to have a family with him. Sounds like that might drive him crazy having to be home with kids and wife.
As far as not being able to afford child support...right! It is based on your income. I know people who don't go out, take weekend trips and pay for a girlfriend and they can still afford to take responsibility for their decisions.

Finally, "should he finally leave her to be with me?" That's just not any of your business. You signed up for this ride with a married man. You have no right to put any pressure or be part of any decision regarding their family life. Him leaving his family...family, is a completely different subject than him THEN choosing if he wants to commit to you.

I feel strongly because I have been in this situation. I'm sure based on my response you would assume that I was the married woman and my husband cheated. WRONG! I was not responsible and chose to enter into a relationship with a married man. They had a very unconnected marraige and my story went much like yours. Everyday, trips etc.
I feel so bad just writing this! We are actually still dating, they are divorced, she is remarried (5 months after the divorce) and miraculously we are all kind to each other.

My advice to you my dear, Keep your head above water...do not get too dependent on this man...be able to provide for yourself...show some empathy to his wife there are two or more sides to every story...Do not let his situation determine the outcome of your life.

Things will change when and if he gets divorced, really.

Best of luck...you, as most of us, will need it! You sound like a nice girl...be true to who you are!

Emman

how can you live with yourself sleeping with a married man that probably have kids and a family

humanbeforeamerican

If he does it to her, he will do it to you...he is using you...he is having his cake and eating it too...90% of relationships that stem from adultry do not work out. Whether or not he leaves her should be irrelevant, you should leave him.

Pat R

Yes,he should,his wife doesn't deserve an evil selish pig like him,but you do.

Ashton theKID

What makes you think that he'll not also leave you eventually for someone he thinks is better? If you're willing to have an affair with some married guy don't you think maybe he might want to do it again?

tinkerbell0987

i dont think that you are the good person in this situation. how would you feel if you were his wife and knew that there was something going on with your husband and another woman and you couldn't do anything about it. you would feel awful and so you shouldn't even put this man and wife in this situation. plus, he is just saying that because he doesn't want you to leave him. he isn't going to get a divorce

jstagirl1969

if you was good enough for him he would be divorcing her already, but why does he want to do that when he can screw and use you anytime he wants. he wont divorce her for you. and after seeing him for 7 months, why havent you made him make a choice? you'll probally be broken hearted if you did.

jacket2230

I can't believe you asked this question on here. How crazy is this. If he is cheating on his wife with you what makes you think he will not cheat on you in the long run? Get away from him!

Nikki

He can't pay child support because he's taking you out. If he wants to be with you then step out and let the divorce take place.

wilma s

Sure she knows...Wives are not dumb..but you are....She is waiting for the right time for her to make the move...this takes planning especially with children...Please do not think you are special....Married man with wife and children..MMMMMMMM

banana6464

Oh, sweetie, don't fall for one of the oldest lines in the book. He will never leave his wife for you - read a few of the questions on here and you will see that men say they want to leave and would except...(enter excuse here.)

Besides, have you not seen enough information about his character to know that he is a bad choice for you? If he'll cheat on her with you, what makes you think he won't cheat on you with...

tracy

you shouldn't of messed around with that married man. if he cheats on his wife what makes you think that hes not going to cheat on you. think about it. he not worth your time find some one else and leave him alone. hes playing head games with you and your believing him. he has a child and makes it where he cant pay child support but he has a good job and he cant pay it. sounds pretty fishy. i work and pay child support its my responsibility. dont put yourself in this mess and get yourself out of it fast before you get hurt. good luck hopefully this helps you

Big Bully

Quit dreaming, he has already told you that he cant get a divorce. Also by you remaining with him you are just his booty call. My suggestion is find a new man, preferably one that is single.

Sounds like a "why buy the cow" situation.

What do you think?

foxxy lady

u need to back off and let him take care of things with his wife first. i really am appalled that u would b dating a married man in the first place. but if he says he's going to leave her for u, then let them get the divorce final and everything straightened out, the go after him when he is single.

u r a very selfish, ignorant, no good person for dating him in the first place and he is a no good, selfish, ignorant piece of sh*t for cheating on his wife. u two deserve each other, because neither one of u care about someone else's feelings and u never will. that is the lowest anyone could go, i mean come on, think of what ur doing.

i really hope she does find out about u two and kicks both ur a*ses, u both deserve it. tell him to get a divorce that way u two pigs can have each other and his wife can go find someone that deserves her love and time. she deserves that much, to know about her husband so that she can go on and have a better, happier life with someone that will not take her for granted and so she can find someone that will treat her the way she deserves to be treated. i really feel bad for her (his wife), but i do not feel bad for both of ur sorry a*ses. once a cheater, always a cheater. once a hoe, always a hoe.

Bob D

Let the divorce take place.....marry him and then be shocked when he does the same thing to you

BETHEA B

never date a married man!!! You're gona need 2 be prepared 2 handle trouble &/or heartbreak.
P.S. Chances are, if he's cheating on her, sooner or later he'll probly end up up cheating on u as well. I agree, his wife doesen't deserve an evil, selfish pig like him.......

teach

First, I would suggest that if the wife doesnâ€™t know, then it is because she doesnâ€™t WANT to know.
Second, if he is using that old excuse about child support, then he is an ***, child support doesnâ€™t come close to supporting a child.
Third, leave him until he is in his own place and has started divorce proceedings.

To humanbef

Please give a source for your 90% statistic on the longevity of relationships that stem from adultery donâ€™t work out.

dustbin31

if he truly loved you he would leave his wife no matter what.so no he dont love you very much and you will end up getting grief you being a woman know how they work i hope you like being smacked because thats the only result i can see.and your hurting a child thats very naughty.tut tut!!

Jen70

Maybe he should leave her for you, but it doesn't sound like he has ANY interest in doing that.

ncgirl

That's a real winner you've got there. He cheats on his wife and he's broke!! I can really understand why you'd want to be with this guy. You definitely deserve him!!!!

Man, I hate STUPID people!!!!!

Amirra

Yeah he should, and if she doesn't know about you two, I would seriously question a relationship with this guy.

â˜® SprÎµÎµ

Ask him if she knows, if she says yes then make him prove it. If its a mutual thing between him and his wife then thats one thing... if you are the other woman and possibly ruining his kids life and that child will someday hate you... then shame on you!

Ollie

Hi,have you never heard the saying the wife is the last to know.Maybe she is blinded by love & doe's not want to lose him.

cope_acetic

If he really wanted to divorce her & be with you, he'd FIND a way.
Face it--he has his cake & eats it too....why should he rock the boat?
You have ZERO future with this sleazeball, so why are you still falling for his lies?

ndnqt1966

You are so delusional woman! He will never leave her for you....Don't you have enough respect for yourself to find a man that isn't married? Or are you too freaking lazy?

voney w

sweetie let me tell you something...women aren't stupid I'm pretty sure is thinks something is up if he spending that much time with you....and if you guys are seen together i bet someone has said something to her about it now...

and if he doesn't have enough to pay for child support now ,if he gets a divorce then what makes you think if he leaves her later that he will have any money to pay it....honestly it sound like to me he wants to stay married because he is comfortably where he is now but he still wants to mess around with you....

and another thing...he is showing you just how trustworthy he is ....why do you think that if he leaves his wife for you that he will treat you any different after you two get together.....he is a cheater and once a cheater always a cheater...and i bet sooner or later he will cheat on you too.

you need to get out of this situation.....because you guys like that will only end up hurting you.

Cassandra C

Yeah he probably won't leave you. Easier for him to stay with his wife and "date" you. So either accept it, or move on.

1+1=2

This is an unfortunate situation, but clearly you have fallen for one of the most overused lies in a cheating married man's life. (The things I'm about to write are not meant to be offensive or hurtful, but are observations that I have made through life.)

Most of the time a woman who is with a man who is cheating on her knows what is going on, unless the man is going through great lengths to cover up his infidelity. What you describe: he's introduced you to his friends, you go out together, see each other everyday, weekend trips, he says he loves you (the worst part); are all common for a man who is cheating. Your situation is no different than a million other cheaters' in the world.

This situation is at a different level because of how public he is with his cheating. Yes, there may be problems between him and his wife, but guess what? You will always be the woman he cheated with while he was married - a mistress. His friends know you as such and, at this time, that is all you are. No amount of love in the world can change that. Men have a very narrow view of cheating, they can do it, but a woman can't; plus, the woman who cheats with a married man doesn't deserve respect.

You write that "he can't get a divorce cuz he doesn't have enough $$ to pay for child support," but understand that he can be married and still be forced to pay child support. If his wife gets fed up enough with what he is doing, she can go to family court and get an order for payment right now. Child support must be paid whether or not a person is married or currently with the mother of a child (unless the father of a child is dead, where the child would get social security).

You wonder whether his wife knows or if she doesn't want to face "this reality." I would bet she knows, but you're probably not the first nor the last. So, being married to him and living through his disappearances and infidelities, she knows what her reality is. You should be wondering about your own reality. Your own reality is pretty much your last question - "If he says he loves me... and now has a great paying job, should he finally leave her to be with me?"

If he was really that unhappy with his wife and wanted to be with you, he would have left her already. They would be legally separated with a divorce pending while he was creating a new life with you. However, with your description of events, you're still his mistress waiting to become more.

I wish you the best of luck with this situation, it's a hard one. There are not easy answers for you because you seem to have fallen in love with someone who should have been off-limits to you from the start.

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