Does it amaze you what people put up with in a bad marriage or long term relationship?

what are you

Hell yes it is . Believe it or not my ex wife use to beat me cheat on me st abed me one time and all kinds of crazy crap

Now that im out of it i sit back and wonder what was wrong with me staying so long . I think i was more out of my mind then she was

tigrezz

Its plain stupidity. I find it so ridiculous that people stay in relationships knowing they are unhappy because they cant be alone. I wish everyone would just grow up!

mimzy

Yes, it does amaze me. I don't know why these questions are asked about how to forgive a cheater. You don't forgive and you don't forget. I don't know how anyone can love someone like this and put their trust into them. :)

Love Me or Hate Me...

Yes, sometimes it does amaze me at what people put up with. However, I have to disagree on the once a cheater always a cheater... some people can change and do. I did. Up until I met my (now) husband, I'd cheated on every boyfriend I had but when I met him it was like something clicked in my brain. He knows about my past and knows that when I did cheat, I admitted to it and ended the relationship. But I've never cheated on him and never would. If it ever got to that point with him, I'd leave him before I'd cheat on him.

life goes on

People stay in a relationship because they feel its the right thing to do or else there are kids involved.,
Sometimes its lack of money,
or lack of self confidence,

Angie

I think it is plain stupidity. At least that is what it was in my case. He cheated and cheated and cheated. That was his good quality. And my my said stay (for the kids), so I stayed.

I've gotten an education since. ;-)

Jasmine

I (sadly) had a relationship with a married man recently.

I ended it many times during that time, and each time HE would never leave it alone; turned up to my workplace begging for another chance, he once waited for me outside my office in the rain for THREE hours, and would even harass my friends to see me.

DESPITE this, his wife put 100% of the blame on me when she found out. This is despite me sending her (at her request) ALL the emails and texts he'd sent me (I'd kept most of them), and they were really damning, "I wish I met you and married you first", "I feel torn between you and my wife", "I don't know why I let the family pressure me into staying with her".

She even got her sister to call me and threaten me.

All the in laws were gunning for me, in addition.

And yet this wife still blamed me, completely. 3 weeks later he was back sniffing around me again....turns out she only took 3 days to take him back!

Deep down she knew FULL well that it was HER husband who broke HIS vows to her, and yet she chose to behave as if it were me who owed her my loyalty.

Brunette wife

Yea i totally agree with you.

People who stay with cheaters are stupid.

Marion K

Sometimes its not wise to criticize someone for staying in maybe an abusive or unfaithful relationship. These people are sometimes dependent on their partner for financial support or are emotionally & self-consciously weak and will get out when they reach a point they can't take it anymore or remain until its too late.

Nicole*Is*Great!!!

Mostly it's because of self esteem issues. Sometimes people stay because they are depressed and think any kind of "love" is better than no love at all. They feel like they can't or don't deserve anybody better.

As far as staying because of finances, it's not always as simple as having a "backbone". I once suffered from depression and believed that I was too stupid to find a job. I'd go to interviews and ruin them cause I couldn't muster up the courage to look the interviewer in the eyes or carry on a decent conversation. I stayed with an abuser because he would tell me what I was already feeling, that I would never make anything out of my life. I figured if others around me felt like that and I felt like that so there must have been some truth to it.

Sometimes it's neither love nor stupidity. Sometimes it just takes a while for a person to learn to love themselves and believe in their self-worth. Never judge a book by its cover.

I think it's self doubt and lack of self esteem. They don't think they can do any better so they stuck with what they have.

AKAO4D

Some people have never heard the sound of their own voices. So when things are out of whack and they know it, they don't know what to do. First they blame themselves because they figure they must have done something wrong. Then they question their beliefs and faith because things are not working out according to what they have been taught. It's a cycle of madness until they can't stand it anymore. It is then the sound of their own voice come through and it's new and scary. But they are willing to deal with it because it came about base on their own decisions.

Don't be mad at them while they go through the process of finding themselves. It's called life.

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