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fizixx
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In my opinion, you haven't been with the guy long enough to have that close, tight bond to wher you would stick with him thru this kind of thing.
The guy had a couple pretty *tough* things happen to him.....I've been there, I know how that feels. He's resentful and angry, and unfortunately he's taking it out on you.
Now.....before you act, think about what kind of guy he's been to you so far. Has he been beligerant and difficult, or has he been nice and kind to you?
If he's been good to you then his behavior is just him not handling these events in his life very well.
If he's been nasty to you, then by all means get the heck away from him, BUT.....if he was good and now he is not, you might want to consider sitting down and talking to this guy and tell him what's what, and give him this last chance to straighten up before he loses his relationship with you on top of everything else.
I'm not making excuses for him, but everyone wants to crucify the guy....I'm just trying to point out this fine line that might save you both the loss of a relationship. Life is filled with heartaches and troubles. No reason to act in haste when it may not be necessary.
Either way you go.....I wish you both well. |
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brainfreeze007
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I think you know what you have to do --- things like this --- as a Mother -- you should not even have to ask a stranger --- |
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sunbun
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WALK AWAY---and put your CHILDREN 1ST!!!!! |
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mick271602
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To be honest i think you should walk away but there are always two sides to every story. If you want to work it out (for love or something) then try using 'relate' and get him some good advice. Still, you should never tolerate someone smashing your window, shouting in your home etc If you have children then they are the priority and you must tell him if he doesnt get help then you will get a restraining order. |
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princessfionafantasy
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walk away. i would say help him but he drinks and is violent and you have 2 kids! |
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VINI Vidi Vici - Drank, saw, hit
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Get out now while you can.
I used to be like that.
I thought I had been hard done by.
If you give him hope he will become a stalker - like I did.
Make it clear, now, and final.
He'll clean up his life one day - but don't let it take those years off your life. |
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jbairswifey9706
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I wasnt sure what to say about what he did to you.. looks like it was pretty bad... I duno and you took him back... but what i would do just tell him.. he needs to relize that hes hurting you... and your kids... your first thing to know is this what you want for your kids.. AND I know every person thinks this.. and ask him is this what the kids want to remember him by... I duno I wish i could help if u want to talk IM me. this name.. best of luck to you. |
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fsfa
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Get out now. It's only going to get worse unless he get professional help, which he most likely won't do. |
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Dreamer
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Let him know that if you want to be together, he cant come to your house drunk, actin a damn fool. You have those kids to worry about, remember that. if you dont want him anymore, you need to break it off. If you do want him just tell him he cant be drinkin anymore or its over. Try to do it one step at a time, though if you do decide to stay. Dont demand he get a job, stop drinking and cheer up all in one day- these things take time. He needs counseling.
You have to figure out if it is worth it to you to stay in the relationship. |
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girlie
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I totally agree - you deserve better than that. You need to think about your welfare- if you cant put that first, think about your kiddies. |
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♥**•.¸¸verbalkint♥**•.¸¸
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i could have written this, i have been with mine three years and i have been yelled at cheated on hit, bullied, pushed told I was ugly beleive me get out now, it will get worse, im trying to get rid of him but he turns up drunk and abusive, dont end up like me |
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frawlicious
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He needs couseling. It's more than you can handle on your own. You will have to decide if he is worth hanging on to, but I would definitely advise he see a professional. |
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~*tigger*~ **
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walk
if not for you for your kids |
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One_Of_A_Kind
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Been there done that! It's a cycle. Sounds like he is in the verge of turning abusive or something. My advice is to make him learn the hard way. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. You don't deserve that from him nor anyone. If he cares about you he will come back a changed man if not, don't waste your time. Your kids don't need that from him either. If your out of the situation why get back in. You already know what to expect from him. |
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roxiecat4200
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Walk...no Run away. This guy sounds violent, and you don't know when kicking doors and smashing windows will turn into hitting you or your children.
Leave him and if he won't stay away get a restraining order and don't hesitate to call the cops if he comes close to you or your children! |
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theewokprincess
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Protect your children and yourself. Get out of that situation. |
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GB
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Walk, run, kick him to the curb, Better fish in the sea! |
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ezekiel's mom
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WALK AWAY AND DON'T TURN BACK. he is a threat to you and your two young children.What if he comes back and tries to hurt them cause they did something he thought was wrong. leave him . besides If everything that goes wrong in your realtionship is your fault you really need to go casue he is not there for your. |
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Tooter
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Get him out of your life. Look after yourself and your children, he has issues you cant solve for him. Tell him he needs to have some form of counselling. Take care and if you are scared dont hesitate to call the police. |
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Brownie
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You have a responsibility to your children. Would you want them growing up and treating people like this? That is exactly what will happen if they see it is "ok" to do! File a restraining order because he sounds like he is on the verge. My guess he has pulled this pattern before with someone else. Appears great on the surface, then the world falls apart. Depression or not, he has no right to treat you this way. You say he was "crawling" back to you? Snails crawl too, just as slimy. |
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juggalizzle
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Get out of there, this guy is obviously abusive. I know that alcohol can make people do dumb things but, that was completely out of line and disrespectful! I hope he pays for those damages and then gets his act together. Your kids don't need that type of behvior for an example on how a man should be. |
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teresathegreat
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Tell him to need some time to think and heal. Tell him you need more than promises on his part, because his actions have damaged the trust you had in him. Ask him to get some professional help, both for his sake and as a pledge of good faith to you. He needs to join an alcoholics anonymous or anger management group/therapist; they can help him deal with the root of his problems and his destructive way of handling his frustration. Once he's committed to a program and has shown signs of improvement, then you can consider getting back together.
(He may insist that he isn't an alcoholic, since he doesn't do this often - but he is using alcohol to hide from his problems, and his abuse of it has led him to violent and illegal acts, so he definitely has a problem and needs to take aggressive measures to make sure it doesn't develop into a habit.) |
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proud nerd
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If you didn't care about this guy, you wouldn't even be asking this question. I would say give him the chance, but not at the expense of your safety and your children. Tell him he needs to get therapy and stop drinking, and you won't see him again until he gets his life together. Explain to him that it's not that you don't want to help, but rather that you've been trying to do so for several months and it hasn't helped, and it's affecting you and your kids. If he never gets his act together, don't give him another chance. This puts the ball in his court and allows him to make the decision on how hard he's going to work for this relationship. Good luck! |
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55 and trying
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Keep him away from you and your children! He is a loser and maybe dangerous. |
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Jane Marple
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You're not the AA or the employment office. This man is dangerous and he has done a demonstration of it. Tell him to put his life back together and then after you'll see how you feel about him. I would never ever expose my children to a man with a violent temper. Life is hard enough without you complicating it with a violent man. |
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dels replies
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Walk. you and the kids are yhe most important things here. He doesn't matter or come into things. |
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marioa gonzalez
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GET OUT!!!!! an abussive man starts out by yelling then he hurts himself then you then your children i know you do not want to b-lieve what i am saying but it is true also have some dignity never let a man insult you infrount of your children they always come 1st good luck |
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Kim
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If i were you i would walk away, your personal safety and well being, as well as your children's, is number one in your life. Look after yourself and your kids, let him look after him. You dont need the drama. |
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mommy3
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I say send him for help and let it be, he needs to wake up and face the world. Everyone needs a job, and with that job he can buy another car. I would tell them that once he has gotten his life straight that you two could work on it, but not until. That is too dangerous. |
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undrline
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Yes. Sometimes it's hard to stand outside your own situation and see it in an objective light. But, I think it is clear - you need to walk away.
Violence is never okay around children; even if you think they were removed from it (backyard, asleep, at the neighbors, upstairs, etc).
"But I had been drinking" is not an excuse. Yes, people are not necessarily rational or in control when they drink. Yes, he may have wanted to drink because of his life situation. But, no, that does not relieve him from responsibility.
He may need you, this is true. But, you can not be his crutch. He can not endanger you, or those around you. He has to come for you for help on your terms: sober, respectful, and willing to accept help.
You might think, hey, he's not endangering anyone: sure smash a door, but not like he'd ever hurt anyone. Sometimes it can be by accident. Sometimes it's just a moment that got out of hand. Or sometimes, someone is capable of worse things than you thought. Really, you and those you love can't afford to be around someone who scares you. |
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myheartsvoice
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Depend's on who you love more, him or your kids. And don't say both, cause you can rest assure if something happened
where the situation realy got out of hand,
you know who the courts would consider top priority . . .
Good luck. |
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