Drunken man... Says terrible things... Just can't cope anymore. What do I do?

Giustapporre

Umm...you're either going to have to leave him and break your heart, or watch him drink himself to death and break your heart. It's up to you. He needs help and you sitting around condoning it by enabling it is only going to lead him to the grave all that much sooner. Get him into treatment now and if he doesn't go, then you'll have to move out. Once he gets into treatment (if he does) you might consider moving back in. But, what you have now and what you're doing now, is destructive.

luvtochasecows

You'll have to go. You can't make someone change. They have to want to. If you make threats you have to stick by them, otherwise they other person knows you are just mouthing. You can either leave and hope it makes him realize what he's done, or you can stay and put up with it. I know there's supposed to be some magical answer, but it's pretty much that simple.

SKY

An alcoholic has to have a reason to stop. Your threats are empty unless you really follow up on it. If he lives with you, you are enabling his drinking.

Do not buy alcohol for him.
Do not bring alcohol in the house.
Make sure his family is committed to not bringing alcohol in the house.

They have meetings for family members of alcoholics, which are often helpful.

Plan to move on and then do it. If he has it in him to care, then maybe this will shake him up. If he doens't, then you have your answer - he is incapable because of the alcohol. It might hurt but you won't be wrapped up in it forever.

gabby

be stern and tell him about aa meetings- or make him leave---he might not want to stop, because he's comfortable there with you, he knows you wont leave him.

Seriously?

Stop being responsible for his actions. If you are unhappy - simply leave.

mamamoon

you have three choices

#1 leave and show him that you will no longer be an enabler to his self destruction

#2 kick his butt out same result as above

#3 do nothing and stop complaining

cougar

My husband used to drink everyday and I kicked him out until he got sober. It took 6 weeks. He is dry 1 year now and life is so much better.
Your husband needs to get somewhere where he can get sober and it may take a push from you or his family. The alcohol will eventually destroy him and you too if you stay around and don't get some help.
I go to Alanon now and you should try a meeting with them. They can help you choose what direction to go in.

mimzy

If you just don't want to go, why not contact an attorney. See what the laws are in your state for having him committed to a facility that can help him. Of course, this doesn't always work because if someone isn't ready to stop drinking, they won't do it. Also, you can also contact AA and get into a support group and see what they have to offer.

Agent99

super glue the bottle to his hands when he passes out

free_angel

Leave. If you do't protect your heart no one else will do it for you.

Katie P

I can tell you right now he is going to choose the bottle over you, most alcoholics choose the bottle over their loved one, you won't be able to change him he has to change on his own, just be careful because alcholics can get physical, ecspecially when it comes to their booze, my advice to you is just leave him alone, let him hit rock bottom maybe he will come around, I hope everything works out for you good luck.....

Spindrift

DUMP him; why are you staying and asking this? He is an alcoholic, he needs to go to AA meetings he will never change as long as you enable him to drink himself sick so the first thing you need to do is get away from him and stop any and all contact with him for both your sakes.

romika

well, its like having a child...if he wont listen, you gonna have to show him.

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: