Even after 9 years of marriage, I feel a distance between both of us.?

ice queen

Sweetie, nothing lasts forever, we take our time on this earth for granted, thinking we have forever, your last day could be today, you need to make a change i your life so you are happy, and not feeling crappy like you are, accomplish things you've always wanted to do whether he is with you doing them or not. We aim to please others too often and forget about our own needs, and why we do this, i believe is because some of us just have a heart that's way to big. But don't be depressed, a few words can change your life in an instant. You just need to figure out what kind of change you need. Whether it's starting over without him, or trying to patch things up with him, but i wish you luck with everything an if u ever need a friend i'm here.

ah-ight

counseling. that'll help greatly.

Linda R

You can't change someone. Stop being codependent and start living life.

basker bavi

its too late to raise this question, if you have been working hard then at this point your relationship should be intimate one, there should be something wrong which you dont sort out till, may be a counselling could help you, speak speak and speak without ego this solves millions of problems

Honeyspicy

just do whatever your heart feel. enjoy your life. go and fall in love with other . then see how many years you have wast? once you are in love everything is good

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I will start answering by asking you ONE important question. Are you in arranged marriage or love marriage? Because these two category will make the scenario totally different and it will also help me determine what should you do next.

Well, if you are in UNFORTUNATE(not surprisingly) arranged marriage, then ask who ever found that boy for you. I am sure after 9 years not whole lot they can do to help you, as if they could in the beginning ha ha.

If love marriage, you should have guts to divorce him. It is very simple. Put on your shoes and go to the lawyer's office. Tell him " I want divorce". IN HINDI " MUJHE DIVORCE CHAHIYE" I am sure he/she will be more than happy to help and guide you.

WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING FOR 9 YEARS SISTER???????????

To many things you need to clarify before any of us can help you at our best.

Take care.

jaedee

first you need to understand that it is NO LONGER a relationship it is now YOUR MARRIAGE.....all men have a hardtime showing or sharing their most intimate feeling towards their spouse. they dont want to show that they have put their guard down and when they do they are voulnerable. so they keep everything in a hidden door so no one can see. thats natural...dont be stressed out...try to mounuver around of how he's feeling.

mateen

As u are married before 9 years and still u could not attract ur partner. here are my few suggestions,
first u study the likeness ,dislikes of partner and act as per his likeness
second u should well dressed yourselves before his arrival at home.
third act as per his will with beautiful smile.
fourth be smart while meeting in bedroom.
you will find the great change in your life.

Debbie B

Things such as this are prone to happen and it's very frustrating to the other person. My husband is like that and I I'm not. It's almost impossible to get him to expose his feelings. You can only do so much. Be persistent and I hope you archive something. Don't get depressed over it.

cjtalley22000

I hear you. Keeping that spark alive in a marriage is challenge. It takes a lot of work. Know this -- you are not alone. The highs and lows of marriage are all part of it, and anybody who has ever been married has been there.

The other answers are right -- you can't change him, and therapy will help a ton. (Of course, couples therapy is ideal, but if he won't go, individual therapy for you can make a big difference.) If you can't afford therapy, consider talking to someone at your church.

I also recommend seeing your doctor about getting on some antidepressants. You may not be seeing things completely clearly and rationally, and the world may look a lot brighter with some meds.

Hang in there, and good luck.

KARAN

iTS ME WHO CAN CONTROL THE DISTANCE AND SPEED. iF i DONT SEE THE DISTANCE, IT WONT BE THEER.

neicedenise62

Men often have difficulty expressing themselves. Try a little soft encouragement, like how was your day ? anything new and exciting? want to go to the movies this weekend? What would you like to see? And then what was the best part of the movie for you? What would you like for dinner. Be subtle.And don't try so hard you have done well just surviving past 2 years and then the seven year itch.

booboo

do me a huge favor and rent the movie FIREPROOF trust me

Kapil

It's Natural... It can happen in marriage but don't take it negatively. It is just giving you the time to rethink and to see the qualities of the other person. And still you are in doubt do talk to your close friend and share your feelings... it will help you speak out all rubbish and start thinking afresh.

Matthew Chin chin

You need to stop trying and start running away with your wife to the countryside for that lovely and memorable dirty weekend. Wives love that.

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