FORGIVE him OR NOT ??!!!!?

My husband has a childhood friend and they are very close to each other, so much SO that his friend ended up calling us on our first night till 4 am in the morning. My husband has to talk to him every single day. there has been many fights between us just because of his friend. In anger i ended up calling them gay one day infront of him & his friend and he broke my hand (fractured) and left me @ home. I ddidn'tcomplain to the police... he aaskedfor too may sorry from me took good care of me but again when even it comes to his friend I am pretty sure he can leave me and go to him. His friends birthday is comcomingd he wants me to travel with him, (my husband has traveled without me earlier in the yr he broke my hand). I dondintink i should forgive him for this and travel with him.

Should i forgive him and give him another chance to change... will he ever change ??? its been 2 yrs for our marriage and he hasn't changed on this grounds.. I am pretty sure he can leave me any day,, but he does love me and cares for me, when we are not fighting.. I dont know what to do.

Sue C

I don't know your ages, but they ARE carrying this "friendship" thing just a bit too far. NO, of course I don't feel they are any way gay, but just very close friends. Comes a time tho when we ALL have to put things in our lives in prospective. He DID get married & now has YOU for his wife. There is NO need for him to be this close to a friend to the degree these two are. They sound like a couple of school kids! He truly IS carrying this a bit far to say the least. Can you have one serious talk with him & try to come up with some sensible boundaries? As in he has certain days he talks to him, does things with him or whatever they do. I tho't only women had "problems" of this nature, but not men or to the extent you're describing. He HAS TO realize when he got married his wife was his FIRST priority at ALL times. I feel IF you want to go with them on their "trip", then you should go. NO, he certainly should NOT have done such a horrible thing to you with your hand. He went way too far in doing that to you. I got a Restraining Order taken out on someone who shut my hand in a door! So he should count his blessings you didn't report him for domestic violence! I would imagine he would never consider counseling regarding this situation as I'm sure he knows down deep this whole thing is going over board with this friend, but he'd never admit it. What ashame to ruin a good marriage over the too closeness of a friend. I'm sure he loves you or he wouldn't have married you as otherwise he sounds like a "normal" person but for this ONE area in his life. See if you can civilly work something out as far as some kind of a "live able" schedule with the friend. Try to point out to him that your lives would not be bad if it weren't for this ONE situation. See if you can get thru to him something has to change or you don't honestly know how much longer you can tolerate this. Let him know of course you love him etc. but is your marriage worth ending due to the ONE problem of far too much "togetherness" of this friend. I hope you can work something out once & for all & have a "normal" happy marriage...:)

anonymus

You should always forgive but never forget No real man would hurt an women let alone his wife!! I do believe that he is gay "" he broke your hand"" hello, come on! over an friend that is an male, and they travel outta town together. ALONE u may wanna file them papers for sure and like the other person said be strong.

Lexi

Dude, he broke your ******** hand. Of course you can not forgive him. Life is too short to be spent with jack@$$es. Find a good man.
Hes not going to change. People like that don't change. Even if he could theres still the fact that he broke your hand.

HellsBells

No DO NOT forgive because I believe your right and they are gay. I am not sure how your community would handle that he is gay but in the end it comes down to you. If ANYONE is willing to break your hand over something like a slur against his friend, that is going a step too far for a "friendship". This also means he is willing to stand by the friend before he stands by you. You need a divorce and your husband needs counseling. I wish you the best of luck and be strong.

Heather

I am married. I have only been married two years now, but I can't remember all my vows...to love, honor, and abuse...? just doesn't sound right to me. your gonna be sorry if you stay.

Jilted

You are not married
please don't have kids until you either have a real marriage or find a real man

Tricia G

What part of "he broke my hand" made you want to spend even 5 seconds longer being his wife??? Those divorce papers would have been served practically by the end of the week, if not sooner.

You can forgive him until you are blue in the face. Why would you stay with him?

Good golly these weak spineless women drive me nuts! In a fit of anger my husband broke my hand. Do you think I should forgive him because he said he's really really sorry. Maybe we should go into counseling together.

To answer your "I don't know what to do." My answer is grow a spine.

Moonspecks2006

If he has a close friend, then he can see him during the day. Your husband's first priority should be you. Talk to him and tell him how you feel and that he has to make a balance. His friend is not going to run his life. Let him make a balance and make you his number 1 priority.

Beth

Don't ever forgive him. Leave him to his friend. He fractured a bone in your body!! Stop making excuses for this poor excuse for a husband and a man. You should have called the police. He committed a crime against you. This is not ok. Sounds like you might have hit the nail on the head with the gay comment. His violent reaction is a sign that he will never change where his friend is concerned. It's not normal for him to react this way over a male friend and put his wife second best. Get out now. Good luck.

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