Family doesn't agree with relationship?

Tom B

Don't worry about your family. you get married and have a nice time. Either they come around to reason or they don't.

kja63

Who are these "others" that are disparaging his character? Have you considered that what these others are saying may actually be grounded in truth? How well do you know this man? How long have you known him?

Monet

I wouldn't listen to them. I've given up on family advice a long time ago after using there really bad advice. Get married move on and you may have to forget about your family to start a new one! When you're married you'll understand better what I'm talking about

don't be rude.

i would ask them to be opened minded... hopefully he had a good christian reason for his divorce.... if he just couldn't get along with her, then i can see how it would disturb your parents... if it was because of adultery or death, then it is completely fine by God.
anyway, it is important to take note of your families feelings about him... blood is suposed to be thicker than water. and how much happier will you ultimately be when you and your families all get along with a guy that you will take vows of forever with?
anyway, back to asking them to be open-minded.... see if they are willing to actually give him a chance and get to know him... maybe they will realize that it is harmful to pre-judge... christians are good at judging.... i would wait to introduce the children until they are happier about him being around.

littleman

I'd explain to mom & dad that 30 means you've been an adult for quite some time, but you appreciate their advice. Then secretly look at the merists of their concern...maybe they see something you don't. Just look at the pros and cons objectively.

â™¥Chocol@t3 K!$$3$â™¥

Girl, go on with your life and don't worry about what your family says. Obviously this man is a man of good standards and morals. He is divorced but he is taking care of kids. I think that your family wants you to get someone THEY want and not someone YOU want. YOU choose who YOU want to fall in love with...and it has nothing to do with anyone else. If they don't accept your fiance' by the time you guys are married, I would just cut them out of my life. I would not risk my happiness with some I love, just because my family doesn't like them. Well I have to go.

Good Luck
Do the right thing!

Mad Marvin

Do what makes you happy - family will be there no matter what - but they can't be there like a true companion can be at times - if you love him then marry him - your family might get mad - but if they love you - they'll get over it

Leigh

Follow your heart. I'm not going to say to ignore your family, they mean well, but you're going to have to go against them to be happy with your fiance. They will finally come to terms, and everything will be alright.

zoe

follow the steps your heart shows you.. it always works, trust me:)

kita

First of all move out of your moms house and move in whith your booooooo!!!!!!!!!!

guess

you are already an adult you don't need nobodys approval...go by for what your heart wants....your family should realize that you waited to long and still not married....at your age you will have problems finding someone single that's never been married....good luck ,,

rollng_thundr

It's your life, your decision, and you will reap the benefits or pay the consequences of that decision.

You are 30 years old... time to make your own way in life. While having your parents blessing may be important, the way I look at it is: I will spend the rest of my life with my spouse, my parents will be gone someday.. .

- if I spend my whole time trying to live my life to make them happy... then what's to happen when they are gone?

- Will my spouse be there for me when my parents are no longer here?

Trust me... it's your life to live, and they will be the ones missing out as your pending marriage (and your family) develops and grows old together.

Christians are taught about forgiveness and repentance.

Your parents are showing neither.

TONYA P

You should love your parents and respect them but I think you should tell your family to butt out of your relationship. (Of course say it in a better way) Ensure them that if you need emotional support they will be the first ones to know. More likely they're just looking out for you and want you to have the best. You should just talk to them about it and pray over it. You'll be fine. If it's meant to be it will be no matter who supports you. If he's for you eventually they'll love him too.

kyrie_eleison_gr

If you love him and know his character marry him.

My wife is a divorcee. She is a godly woman who gained a true relationship with God after her first marriaged collapsed. Tell your parent that you do judge him on his past because Christ would not. It's not their right, my right or your right to judge him only God's. If he does something to hurt you then I understand their concern but as long as your relationship is healthy then its fine.

wish I were

Why would others be saying anything bad about him. Have a long engagement and rethink it.

pachangero69

Remind your parents, when judgement day comes God will not judge people by what others have to say but by what is in ones heart! Remind your parents also, they must love thy neighbor! Then you have to ask yourself, who am I going to marry, my parents or my fiance'????

bionicbookworm

I would give your family the respect they're not giving you or your new man and consider their reasons against the relationship. If none of them are reasonable or justified, ignore them and move on with your man. If any of them cause you some concern, decide if you can still move on with our man in spite of those reasons.

Ultimately, we're talking about your life and your future family. These are your choices. Friends and family can offer opinions, but they don't make your choices. You do.

If you're sure you know what your getting into, go for it! Just be mindful of things like rules for the kids, rules for the house, how your opinions fit into things, what your & your future husbands expcectations of marriage are and how the new kids (and potentially 'new' kids) fit into things.

Have all the important discussions up front. Consider everything and make your choice.

Best of Luck!

steelhead3686

Your family isn't marrying him, you are. You marry who you want to.

Handsome Devil

are you starting to see now how religion is absolute bulllsh it? How pointless. Seek the approval of nobody!

My opinion is screw what your family thinks, move away and be happy together with your fiancee.

Christians and their hypocritical "tolerance/forgiveness" what a whole lot of crap. They are very intolerant.

Move away, they will do nothing but bring you down.

How I feel for you.

fucose_man

It might be that they are concerned you will not have any children yourself. It might be because he is much older.
"The word of others" - is there truth to what these people are saying? I just wonder if you are blind to the facts.
Sometimes parents are overprotective, yes, but sometimes people see things more clearly than you do.
Who can read the label on a jar better, someone inside, or someone outside?

***____ //_ \\_____***

first of all do respect your family and talk to them in a proper way and secondly make them understand that u like this guy with 92 resn behind ...
you are 30 ur mature enough to find ur way go ahead take care of his kids and care for you fiance' with the passage ov time your family and his family will come to know about your relationship

John Scary

Marry him

linguist

I can see your dilemma. Not cause Ive been in the situation, but cause I understand the importance of family and marriage. Ultimately, I think you should marry him, if you know that he is truly good for you. But honestly, our family(assuming they are good decent thoughtful people) oftentime know whats best for us. They know us better than anyone and can say who is good for us and who isnt. Remember, they know you better than anyone and have been with you the longest(your whole life). I think its very important to take their opinion and really consider it. This is important if you really value your family traditions, values, practices etc. Remember, in other cultures arranged marriages function quite well. Precisely because the families choose someone compatible with the son/daughter.(I dont believe in arranged marriage BTW)
Now, if your family doesnt care about you, or are incosiderate and unreasonable, then maybe you shouldnt put so much weight on their approval.

tcbtoday123

You must do what you believe is right for you. If your fiance is as good a man as you say, they will come to believe in him.

Ms. Complicated

forget them if you love him do what you think is best for you and your family. if you need more help email me at keyla_brown123@yahoo.com

cese1

a man with kids NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! u would regret it

MZ.NEZ

Do what is best for you. I have been in the same situation. I loved his children but my family thought that it was too much baggage. We broke up and it was the worst decision that i made. But sometimes your family looks at him and can see through him like they can predict that he's no good.

stick to your guns and your heart.
This is not a popularity contest.you will be the one marrying him
not them.if you love him and accept him and his kids and this is what you want then by all means go for it!
Good Luck-hope it works out for you

Rhinobucket

You can't listen to other people when it comes to matters of this nature . Even if they have your best interest in mind they can't live your life for you. Even it seems obvious to everyone else that a guy is bad for you you have to make yourself happy. Hell ,imagine if Britney had of listened to others she would have never married K-fed and look how well that turned out.

monica M

my dear you are an adult woman if you are in love you most to defend that love the people are not perfect and your mom have to understand that.

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