Feeling upset all the time...?

I'm 35 weeks pregnant with my first child. My husband and I have been married for almost a year. He is 28, and I am 19. He plays World of Warcraft (WOW) every second that he can. And I literally mean EVERY SECOND---as soon as he gets up in the morning, the second we get home, and he stays up til 3, 4, 5 in the morning, even when we have to work in the morning. Because of his addiction to WOW, I am left doing all the cleaning, the cooking, and taking care of our animals. He doesn't help make dinner, he doesn't even make his own plate--I bring it to him and clean up after him. On top of the normal housework, we just moved and I have done every bit of the moving--the cleaning, the putting away, the sorting--everything except the heavy stuff, and I am no where close to being done, even though we have lived at the new house for 3 weeks. We work at the same job, the same hours, so it's not like he's the "breadwinner" or that he works more hours or works harder than me.

The point of writing this is that I always feel upset, sad, tired, angry. He promises to help and never does, he says he loves me but is always getting mad when I bother him when he's playing, and he plays so much that we constantly fight about it. I just want things to change. I love him so much, and I am always telling him that, but he claims I don't because I don't want him playing as much as he does. Can anyone give me some advice to get him to change. Our baby is going to be here soon and I desperately need him to start helping. I can't do everything!!!

Psycho Therapist

i HAVE to agree with redhead on this one. Just cook for you. do laundry for you. when he gets really hungry and runs out of lounge wear, he'll put the controller down. i hope.

KRIS

well, guess what? i'm willing to bet he has been this way for a long time. he didn't start this yesterday.

if he won't get up to cook his own food, let him starve. if he can not make his own plate, let him starve. if he wants clean clothes let him clean them or let him put them on dirty over and over again until he washes them... get my drift??? but you won't, you like being his little servant and you keep on doing it even tho it pisses you off...

all of this is easy,,, stop treating him like a baby and then complaining when he acts like one!!! this is as much your fault as it is his....

grow up, you are going to be a parent... you are going to have a baby, do you want to take care of two babies??????

either get off your butt and stop catering to his every whim or put up with it and stop complaining about it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

emilsignia

Well, first of all, this man is too young to be a father. And, you are too young to be married, working and also a parent. Please don't take that the wrong way! I think YOU should be the one who should feel free to play World of Warcraft all night! Seriously! You are so young, it's not fair that you should have to play grown up! This man literally stole your youth away from you! Look at him!!

That being said, you don't do housework for other people. You do housework for yourself. That was the hardest lesson I learned as a married woman and parent. Otherwise, resentment builds up.

If you take the advice of others here, and let him clean his own dishes, and clothes, don't be surprised if the sink is overflowing by the end of the week and he wears the same smelly clothes all the time. Promise me that you'll laugh about it and not grow more angry, because that is an all too real possibility.

I would warn him about your wish to put away the game. Then, do it. There WILL be fighting and withdrawl.

GOOD LUCK!!

luvtochasecows

If you can stand the mess, quit doing it. Tell him when he's done playing the game, to come in the kitchen and the two of you can cook supper. Don't do his laundry, don't pay his bills, don't do ANYTHING and certainly don't make his plate. If that doesn't work, break the machine every day if you have to. Honestly, if that didn't work, I'd tell him to take his game and go back to his mom's house.

KurbysGurl

Why dont you tell him to freakin grow up. Tell him that umm duh your pregnant and cant be doin everything for him and that your gonna have the baby soon and that you're not gonna be cleaning up after two kids. Tell him to earn his keep. Tell him that you shouldnt even have to ask him to do anything, hes a grown man he should already be doing this stuff, tell him your not his mama your his wife and if he wants to keep it that way then he better straighten up. Tell him that doing everything by yourself is wearing you out and that its not only puting more stress on you but on the baby as well. Throw his damn game in the trash, it seems to me he loves it more than you. Tell him how the hell is he gonna be playing video games when hes almost 30 and he has a baby on the way. Freakin pathetic! What a loser! no offense....

hasjewels

Throw the computer out the window. Don't wait on him anymore. It may come down to leaving him. WOW is totally addicting.

folklaw62

He's addicted. If I was you, I take the cords away from the computer and tell him he's being pathetic.

Nena S

Seek your family's support and assistance ASAP. I mean it!

This "husband" of yours is clearly an immature and selfish teenager living inside an older man's body....and he won't change. Sorry.

I think you should seriously consider leaving him now, before the baby is born. Go to your parents house if you can.

You will be better off if you can take care of yourself and on taking care of the baby without having the extra stress of having to deal with this moron.

PS: This is exactly why I don't think people should get married so young...You are just 19! You have your entire life ahead of you...and now, things will be A LOT harder for you because of this choice you made.

Good luck.....You will need it!

bandaid_46

Hubby needs to grow up and put his toys away. If I were in your shoes, I would tell him to get rid of the WOW at once and start acting like a husband and father-to-be!!!!!!!!!

Some guys need a good kick in the pants and boy, this guy needs one NOW. And don't you DARE fix his plate ever again. If he can't even do that much for himself, he should go hungry.

If you don't change the way things are done in your house now, you will soon be taking care of TWO children and your animals. If I was there, I'd give him a real piece of my mind. I could kick his butt myself. Do you happen to have a brother who could kick his butt? Man, this guy really NEEDS it.

okchick133

he's addicted to WOW. for your childs sake end the game playing now and by any means necessary. he is being selfish and immature. my husband plays on his PS3 but that is if there is nothing to do around the house or with me, he has his priorities straight.

redhead27

ok... so stop doing all of these things for him. don't cook for him, don't do his laundry, don't clean after him... try that, maybe he'll get the hint.

Ann

Trust me - do not set this as a precedent. You need to take care of yourself and the stress you feel is felt as much by the baby as you. Calmly, you need to say:

Honey, I know you love your game, but I feel that I need some help. I understand that you are tired from your work but it is very difficult for me to feel taken for granted. I do not wish to feel like your mother and right now I suspect you feel that I am fulfilling the duties she used to fulfill. I need your help and when we are both finished we can both enjoy our interests.

And if he doesn't get it - hit him on the head with a frying pan.

This and that

First of all tell him you need to talk to him and it is a serious talk. Let him know everything you just said here. How you are very VERY upset with his habits and you did not marry him to clean the house or make him meals. You married him because you loved him and you two are one. Explain to him you are pregnant and when the baby arrives you will need help and need him to be the father to the child. And you do not want to baby sit him. You may have to come across harsh but if you have already talked to him about it and it isn't doing anything your going to have too. Tell him you will not cook or clean or do anything till you have the baby arrives if he won't lay down the computer or controls to the game for you. Tell him strait forward you need attention and make that very clear. If nothing seems to work and he gets mad or any of that tell him you want to see a counselor. If you guys personally don't want to go see someone after discussing it pick up a copy of the book called, "The Love Dare" Its a book to help couples. And it will help you...he will just have to be supportive and willing to do it. Well Best of luck and congrats on the baby!

Kimmy

tell him he should spend more time with you. if he doesn't make a change throw his game away!

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