Fighting with husband about getting a job?

Claudia

It is very interesting to read the different answers to your question.
There are the "traditionalists" that still believe that as the head of the household a husband is responsible for supporting his family and then there are the "equal right = equal responsiblities people" that think that it is also a wife's job to contribute financially.
You are obviously a "traditionalist" and seem to be offended by just the idea of possibly having to work. Not sure what you want us to say...
In my opinion times have changed and I believe that both husbands and wifes should be equally responsible for "bringing home the bacon". I like to view marriage as some sort of a "business or joint venture" where every "partner" has a defined role with the ultimate goal to make things work through cooperation. Obviously in order to run a successful business finances are crucial. I guess that if one partner does make a lot of money and they both agree that the other one can comfortably stay home in more of a "support role" that is completely acceptable. But with the current economy things have changed and more and more families need two incomes to keep things running.
I actually think that your asking the wrong question. Instead of wondering how long you should wait to complain to your husband again you should ask us who we think is right and who is wrong.
I have 2 kids and work full time. My husband was briefly unemployed during last winter and instead of harrasing him about being out of work I took a second job to keep us afloat.
You don't want "this to end badly", but I think that if you don't change your attitude and start being a team player it will.

islandgirl

Both of you should work...
Its hard and ppl are losing jobs very often..
Yes it is his role to support the family..
but that isnt the case so u should make sacrifices for your family and work as well..

boxmaker40

When my husband lost his job years ago, he became a vegetable.
All he did was lie on the couch and watch tv. He had no intention of getting another job. I didn't argue with him about it, we have to live, and we both had to work. I just came home one day and said it's over. I wasn't going to work to support him staying at home doing nothing. I got a divorce shortly after. Best decision I ever made.

lisapf7

I completely agree with you!!!!!!!

Honey i'm SO SO SORRY you're going through this!
Nowadays men are lazy sponges.

My husband lost his job and is pressuring me to go get a job while he sits around all day. It's pissing me off!

The thing is I think he's (my husband AND yours) getting influenced by someone else that you and I should be getting jobs.
My inlaws can't mind their own business so they keep pressuring my husband to make ME work, not him! So it's probably something like that.

But think about this. I AM looking for work. You know why?
Because without your husband you'll have to get a job anyway and your son will be in daycare!!! But WITH your husband you'll have to get a job but at least your little boy will be with his daddy. You know what I'm saying?

Our husbands have scrunched us into a tight corner. It's not worth sacrificing the entire family to keep our pride, even though WE'RE RIGHT AND THEYR'E WRONG.

I think you should say that he's wrong but go get a job anyway.

I'm really really really sorry you married a lazy butt like I did.

Good luck dear!

(WOMAN)

Well, maybe he's fed up with you for staying at home and not doing the laundry and dishes and that's why he's telling you to get a job. you want the easy life and it's not like that. You need to work too. ITS NOT his job to support the family in these TIMES. You both need to reach a comprise or figure out a solution. BUT you can't just tell him that is his job to support the family when he thinks you are lazy and you are not doing your part either. So, you either tell him that you'll try your best to do things around the house OR get a job like everybody else.

nelly01756

It's BOTH your jobs to support the family. It's your baby too, you need to help pay for it. Sometimes the economy doesn't allow for women to stay at home like they want. You need to apologize to him and yall both need to find jobs. Not split up over it, you need to put up a fight for your marriage!

TSW

That is selfish thinking.Both of you should be looking for a job. What made you the queen bee to have that attitude.

You are fighting a loosing battle to be a fully dependent on you husband.

In tough time it takes two.

Pickleheaded possum

This man is a lazy bum.Where on earth did he learn his work ethic ? Tell him you HAVE a job. If you did get a job outside the home, He would not clean, cook or watch your child properly. He would sit on the couch & feed himself >

â™¥SEVENâ™¥

Your husband is lazy and does not want to support his family. DISGUSTING!!

Now, if he would have said "Baby, I feel that we BOTH need to get a job to ensure the financial security of our family" than I would be more understanding. However, he wants you to go out and work so that he can collect monies from the government and lay on his butt.

Hmph...

little mama

Ok you are really selfish here. If your husband is having a hard time finding a job (like so many others right now) then you....yes I said YOU ....also need to try and provide for your family. AND you need to stop all that nonsense about how a man's job is to provide b/c all you are doing is making your husband feel like a failure. I'm all for staying home with the kids but when your family needs money to survive then you take care of that first.
So as far as what you need to do...You need to apologize for acting so selfish and look for a job. It's fine if you tell him that you eventually want to go back to being a sahm but in the meantime you need to help support the family.

Celeste

don't you cave into that mess. you have to stand strong. he is the head of the household, the provider. he should be running to get a job and support his home. if he's not willing to do that, you're on your own anyway. why should you, a lady, take care of yourself, a child, and a man. make your load easier. i think he's just gotten accustomed to being home, being free, and being lazy. turn it around- tell him his vacation is up and to get HIS resources together before his unemployment runs out!

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