 
|
philbertpheinstein
|
You're doomed.. |
|
concerned1
 |
Yes, it gets better, but you have got to just refuse to argue about petty things. Bite your tongue more often and he will begin to do the same. Even if you think you'll burst if you don't argue back, it becomes easier and easier! |
|
☻Cheshire Kat☻
 |
It takes two to make a marriage work. It takes one to destroy everything. It also takes two to argue. Stop. Be the bigger person. Don't partake in the fights. Love your spouse. Treat them as though they are the most precious person on earth and you might find that the fighting you hate so much ends. |
|
The Wizard's Baker!!!
|
prolly be more of the same.
but you can both sit down and discuss the problems, and work them out, if you want to. but it will take some work. |
|
iamjfk
 |
I'm sorry to hear that things are going bad for you. I was together with my exwife for four+ years and we started having serious problems about 3 months after.
The only thing I can suggest is to talk about your problems and DON'T go to bed mad. Resolve the conflict no matter how long you stay up. |
|
Susan
 |
You are not doomed. You both need to quit arguing and show that you care for eachother. Keep working on the relationship or you will be doomed. |
|
rkrell
|
The problem is that once you get married it changes the relationship dynamics. They key to making things better is to talk to one another and figure out what in the relationship has changed to cause the fighting. Once you figure that out then hopefully you can fix it. |
|
.
 |
Your spouse probably thought that the marriage certificate would change you. Lots of people believe that and doesn't change a thing. If you two can't iron out your differences, you are definitely doomed. |
|
Jacinta R
|
I've heard that the first year of marriage is always the hardest because you're having to settle in to each other's habits, etc, but that wouldn't be the case here because you already lived together for 2 years so you're used to each other.
I think you should take a break from each other if possible. One of you go away for a week, or preferably both go away for a week, and take stock of everything and actually learn to miss each other and remember what it is you love about each other.
To be honest, if you hadn't got married and this was just your third year of living together, maybe you'd be arguing and sick of each other anyway because the relationship had run its course, who knows? Take a break from each other, see how you go. If you get back together and realise you've loved the time apart, might be time to call it quits ... if you missed each other and want to make it work, go from there. |
|
Rachel
|
Don't separate!!!! Try counselling! Couples fight alot, it's natural. Don't think that because you fight you're doomed. |
|
gina m
|
think positve dont always think its over and have a good attiude |
|
girl-on-top
 |
take a long holiday with friends and clear the air and then see how you feel........marriage is supposed to be tough to be worth it in th end |
|
blueeyes
 |
Yes, it will probably get better. Give it some more time. Also, why do you think you are fighting now? What are you fighting about? Try talking to him about this and see what he's feeling. Try to find the intense love you once had. Maybe you both need to go somewhere for a night and just get away. |
|
SWEET NOT SOUR
|
In some marriages in does tend to get better in some it doesn't it depends if you guys are willing to work things through. But i also believe that it is the first five years that are the hardest to get through in a marriage. |
|
Rosalina
 |
Did you guys share money before getting married? I'm not married, but a lot of couples I know fight over money. |
|
Melissa L
|
You should seek couples counseling.
Unless the two of you decide to work together and try and resolve problems without fighting, it won't get better. If you have kids together, it will only get worse.
Edited to add: Doomed. |
|
bobohead
|
It can get better, sounds like you guys need better communication, maybe schedule a girls night, and let him have a guys night. alot of couples that live together then get married (that i know personally) fight alot at first, its almost like they were expecting the marraige to be this miraculous thing, and that everything would be perfect, but in reality, marraige is hard, it is miraculous, but its not flawless, you have to work at it. talk to your spouse and see what they expect out of the marriage, and just communicate better.
it can get better! |
|
glas kat
|
A lot of things can put pressure on you after you're married: the merging of finances, family roles, etc. If you still love each other, and are WILLING to communicate and work through this, there's no reason your relationship can't go right back to being wonderful. Talk to your spouse, discuss what has changed and what feelings, activities, etc that you want back in your relationship, and then actively work to pursue those goals. Once you've hit the goal of marriage, lots of people forget to keep creating goals for the relationship. Good luck! |
|
MeNoTroll
 |
Perhaps you need counseling...why did making it legal, change it?
You both need to figure out why you are fighting now and things have changed. Communication is key.
Marriage should have only made things better. Seek help together. |
|
staringmommy
|
it all depends on what you want to put into it I reccomend setting up a time where the two of you sit down and discuss everything thats wrong They say the first year of marrage is the hardest cant really say if it will get better mine only lasted 11 months but good luck |
|
Michealla
|
Go get someone to be the inbetween , the details
would be probably too long to discuss here and
we dont know all the details so how can we advise ?
By that i mean you guys need to get counceling to
get back, to what got the two of you to be together
so long to begin with....there must have been
something.
your not communicating effectively and this is not
productive to your relationship. |
|
thresher
|
You should go to counseling.We usually don't get things right before the marriage,its a transition you have to learn how to communicate.Without this training it won't work. |
|
bullzboy
|
Hey! Don't give up on each other just because of little cat brawls doesnt mean it is doomed you dont need to see marriage counseling thats for losers! you guys should take a camping or hiking trip or a memorable experience both of you had together before you were married to remind you why you guys love each other so much! of course there are going to be fights in every marriages you can't just give up just because you are living with another person that is an adult and has different responsiblity to take care of. it is not doomed YOU will be doomed if you decide to divorce etc.!
good luck on your marriage! |
|
marriedandamom
|
just let him be right, trust me even when he is wrong he will see that you are trying to make things ok and love and appreciate you even more. it's not doomed - the first few years of marriage ARE so hard but it gets better and when you work through all that garbage you will have a stronger love that can survive anything! give it to God and hang in there!! |
|
condosgirl
|
The first year of marriage is usually tough because you have to get used to each other's idiosynchracies. If you lived with your spouse for 2 years prior to marriage, that shouldn't be the problem. Is it possible that one or both of you are harboring some feelings of being trapped due to the formal marriage? I've heard others say that things went south after getting married. Maybe the feelings of responsibility and the loss of youth and freedom are weighing on one or both of you. That little piece of paper really has a lot of weight. I would suggest you two sit down and talk calmly and honestly about your feelings. Maybe talk to a counselor as well. Don't just say it's doomed and give up. Learning to communicate and compromise are what make a marriage good. I've been married for 27 years now and it hasn't all been roses and champagne. We had some stuff to work thru but it was worth it. |
|
oroka1277
|
it is going to get better because the first year of marriage is simply trying to adjust to the new life style but encourage your spouse to put more effort on you relationship and it will get better |
|
Spider
|
Why Did You Get Married ???
Think About Why You Got Married - Love or Not ?
Sounds Like You Guys Might Be Feeling Trapped instead of Feeling Together and Happy .....
Keeps Getting Worse - Thoughts of Learning From Your Mistake and Jumping Ship Might Look Good To You and Then - - Hurt and Why and Love and Confusion - - Anyway - - Good Luck ! |
|
Buck
|
Older couples advised me before I got married that the first two years of marriage are the hardest because of the time it takes to learn each others living habits, patterns and mood changes and how to react to each of them so that you live together more in harmony... It was true in my marriage.... The first two years were the hardest and now we have been together for over 17 years and married for 11 of those years...
You Both have to be will to work at it and want for it to work out for it to be able to.....One person is not strong enough or able to do it alone.... We found that the key to our happiness was we set down and decided that it was best for us if I would put her happiness before my own and she would put my happiness before her own then we could keep each other happy and satisfied throughout the rest of our life.... It works because we have been through a lot of bad situations that life can throw at a couple and instead of tearing us apart it seems to continue to make us stronger and I would not trade my wife for any one or anything.... All relarionships go through hard times like the one you are going through so that from time to time the relationship gets tested to see if it grows and strengthens or is it weak and falls apart..... It does have its purpose life... Just like metal that has to go into the fire to be forged and made stronger.... So too does relationship.....The biggest key to all relationships is communication...No one can read your mind so if something is bothering you or making you feel overwhelmed about something then you both should sit down and discuss how you feel, the problems that are happening and TOGETHER come up with a solution so that both are happy with..... Marriage envolves you both and it should be worked out between you both.....Marriage is no fairy tale.... Best of luck to you in your future!!!!!!!!!!!! |
|
Dustin
|
You two need to learn how to fight fair. When things escalate, give him 1 minute to state his side without any interruptions from you, then take 1 minute for your side without any interruptions from him.....Then take another 1 min each to react to the other person's side.
If there is no communication, then a marriage will not last.
It will only get better if the two of you agree to try harder. Don't be afraid to say you are sorry if you did wrong, or even if you raised your voice during an argument.
If you don't change anything, it will not get better....it will get worse.
Try to resolve an argument through compromise. Let him get his way this time, but next time, you get to choose. |
|
2cute4words
|
You were living together and were not totally committed. It is a psychological thing, perhaps now that you are totally committed you might have a feeling of more stress and responsibility. Being married should be no different than living together. If you two were just dating and weren't living together, then I could tell you it is just a matter of getting used to each others ways and adjusting to a new life. Some people say the first year of marriage is the best, some say it's the toughest.
In your situation, I think it is a psychological thing and that frustration of being fully committed to one another .
I suggest seeking counseling or just sitting down and talking things over. |
|
|
|
|
No Spam
Adult 
Gambling
Unfinished
Deception
Plagiarism
Not English
