For anyone in a relationship...am I overreacting?

Martin M

You are not going to get serious and mature answers here.

You want to know what is up? Talk to him.

Tell him something like, you know it hurts me that you don't celebrate my bday is there something wrong? Did I do something to upset you?

It is a huge thing for a spouse not to acknowledge an important event and it is usually a sign that the other spouse has done something to upset the spouse who does not reciprocate. This doesn't mean it's your fault and you may not even have any idea and your husband may not know that you had not bad intentions.

Talk to him and see what the matter is. It is very important that you are given due attention for your birthday and respect for that matter.

Does he also do this with anniversaries and other holidays? Did he offer you a belated happy birthday?

I work very hard and commuted long distances for a long period of time and I would almost forget and get something a couple of days before any event. But I never forgot.

I hope the best for you and I am sorry to hear you are hurt...and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!! Even if it is belated.

I'm sending a telepathic hug, cake, and expensive gift.

katydid

I feel for you. I always make sure to do something special for my husband on his birthday too. This year, like many years before, he didn't even say happy birthday. My sister and her kids called and sang to me and all he said was..."oh, is today your birthday? I forgot" then hopped on his computer and chatting with his friends all night---one of them (a girl no less) until 4 in the morning! Of course he couldn't understand why I was upset! Almost left him over that one. Not because I wanted to be taken out or showed with gifts. All I wanted was atleast for him to acknowledge it was my birthday and spend time with me! Talk to your husband and let him know how you feel. Once I finally got him to realize what he was doing to me (not just on my birthday, but every day), he actually spends time with me now and not his online girl friends! I think some men a just born insensitive! But that doesn't mean they can't change! - Happy belated Birthday to you!

unsure_lost_confused

No, you're not overreacting. I mean i'm not married or nothing yet but personally i'd be upset or depressed to, i'd talk to him about it and ask hi if he loved you or the work, don't be agressive be calm and growen up

blueblossom33

I certainly understand why you are upset. I am very sorry that your birthday was such a bad day. With that said I think you might want to point this out to him.

kitt_kattkitt

I would check to see if he forgot your birthday by asking him if he would like to go with you this weekend to whereever you like to celebrate your birthday. Knowing he was working on your birthday and you have the free time on the weekends. See what he says, he'll either feel really bad and more than likely agree or if he really doesn't care at all, it might be time to rethink your relationship.

Littles

So sorry that he forgot your birthday. I'm such a birthday freak that my husband would be sleeping in his car for a week if he forgot. Maybe he's going to surprise you somehow. I'd give him till the weekend.
If nothing after that than I'd mention it to him. If he totally forgot & wants to make it up to you, make sure you pick out the most expensive gift that you can think of..... Also if you fill out your profile, maybe you can make some friends in here that live in your State. I met my best friend in a chat room. Good Luck and NO your not overreacting !!!!!!!!!

Joyous Dawn in the morning

No!, I would have felt just as bad. I would express my feelings to him in a peaceful way, once I was over the anger. If he does'nt show remorse know him for what is is to you insensitive. I think once he knows how he's made you feel, he'll make up for it later on. Be patient. O h by the way, Happy belated Birthday may your next birthday be a wonderful day for you.

Queen B

you are NOT over reacting. sounds like your husband is a selfish person. if his actions don't improve, i can't imagine your marriage lasting forever. i am sorry he didn't do something for you...happy belated b-day!

nwnativeprincess

HAPPY BIRTHDAY FROM ME TO YOU!!!!!!!
NO YOU ARE NOT OVERREACTING. MEN JUST DON'T GET IT!!!!!! KEEP PLUGGING AWAY AT WHAT YOU WANT AND NEED.
MEN HAVE TO BE KICKED IN THE HEAD OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN. THEY ARE DENSE AS BRICKS.

Tracy O

You have a right to be upset. Did he mention it by the end of the day? If so, maybe he totally had a crappy day and things just slipped past him. If not, confront him about it.

Journey

No!He could have sent you flowers with a gift certificate attached for your favorite store.He could have made it a point to have lunch with you and when he came home he should have had a card.I would have been hurt.You should tell him how you feel.

Joesmoe

I would drop hints to him about missing your bday. If they are caught by him then his reaction will tell you how he feels. If he is apologetic then it was a true over site. But if he say something yeah I know sorry, then there is something wrong. On our anniversary, I bought my wife flowers bracelet and a card, I got nothing. All she said was 'Oh I thought we couldn't spend any money in each other". So hey that tells me how she feels about our anniversary, not important to her.

Clints_wench

No you are not but I would rather him foget my bday than our anniversary. Just maybe he was so overworked it just passed him by. Talk to him tell him how hurt you are by the fact he forgot your bday.

san_ann68

no the least he could do is say happy birthday to you

elaeblue

Next year give him what he gave you this year.No you are not overreacting it was a lousy thing for him to do. Maybe you should reconsider this relationship since he doesnt seem to care about your feelings.

eagfan5

No you are not overreacting at all.

kandekizzez

Did he even say "Happy Birthday"? Is he planning on making this up to you when he has some time off? It sounds pretty thoughtless too me. But don't compare all you did to what he didn't, that was your choice. Talk to him about how you feel, let him know it hurt your feelings, he cannot read your mind.

djyo

I have heard this from my current G.F. of four years, about her ex-husband of 11 years.
She left him, he in turn left this world, her and their two boys behind.
Sounds like you really do a lot for him and he seems like he does barley, if anything in return.
Should you repay the favor with the same?
No this will just make it more horrible on the both of you.
Does he have the same feelings for you?
You should tell him how you felt.
Maybe he has some suprise cruise to JAMAICA for you as a HUGE suprise.
Or maybe he was just working too hard and has a lot on his mind.
I wish you the best with this.
By the way...
Happy b-lated birthday!
I hope he has a suprise in store for you, or else I would really talk to him and see what he wants from the relationship.
DJ

dipper9stikk

HELL NO U R NOT, but u got what u asked 4. women want 2 b showered, pampered and treated like a goddess which is fine if u follow these giudelines. (if u deserve it all ok but look at it this way) no matter how much u like a guy and/or want 2 do something 4 him give him the bare minimum and gradually work your way up. im a man and i know all about your emotions so he does 2, just keep that in mind. if hes really into his job than he should b giving signs that he is otherwise he a non-romantic or the other.

rockerchick0727

Ohh no way are you overreacting!!!! No way! I would be extremely extremely upset. But it seems that females always go above and beyond and dont get it back in return...Maybe not all females, but like you I did alot for my bf for his birthday and we went to NYC for the day and had a great time...mine, not so much hahah but have a talk with him. maybe he is surprising you and doing something this weekend?...I hope!

daj11551

I don't believe you are overreacting. I would ask him if he forgot your B'Day on purpose, or was it an oversight. But brace yourself for whichever answer he gives. He seems to be rather thoughtless. You deserve to be treated extra special on your birthday. You should be treated special every day. Good luck, honey. Try to join a club or find something you like to do and join that in your area....

Kim

No i would be upset to. He could as least said HAPPY B-DAY!!! It only takes a min to call for flowers and have them delivered. What a surprise that would of been. I'm sorry you got passed over. Sit down and talk to him about how your feeling. Try not to say all you did for him believe me he knows. Just let him know you were disappointed in your day and ask if he just forgot it. You never know, he may have something planned for the weekend when hes not working. You wouldn't wanna ruin it. For what its worth HAPPY B-DAY!!!!

myfairlady46

NO...definitely not overreacting...same thing happened to me...only it was Christmas...I have always been very giving on special occassions to my hubby and he very rarely ever gives me anything or even comments on special occassions...Christmas we had just gotten a big settlement so there were funds for everyone...not one gift under the tree from him...you will eventually resent him for this...talk to him and let him know how this has made you feel...communicate

Linda S

I don't blame you for being upset. No matter how busy your husband is, it only takes a few minutes to pick out a card or even stop on the way home and get flowers.......most men don't stop and think of things like that. My boyfriend is a prime example......for your husbands next birthday treat him to the same presents you got this year.

Nicolette G

Go away for the weekend to show him that you are hurt. You will come back to see alot of gifts.

I don't think you are overreacting - feelings are what they are. If you are upset, you should try to talk to him about it. Maybe he was so wrapped up in his work that he forgot; and maybe not. Ask him how he wants to celebrate your birthday....see what he comes up with. Better late than never...

jess_n_flip

I dont think you are!!! I would be mad too! Thats just wrong. Theres not really an excuse for it! He could have at least gotten you a card! Say something, speak up tell him how mad you are over it! Thats just crazy! Id be really heated! GOODLUCK and happy late birthday :)

makeitclap23

Wait until the weekend...maybe he is planning something and doing the "I forgot" thing as an element of surprise. If nothing happens over the weekend, then bring it up to him and tell him how you feel. He could have genuinely forgot. Give him some time and see what happens.

Happy Belated Birthday and Good luck.

Rebel Gal

Does he usuall forget? If so, then you knew you'd be dissed. If not, perhaps he is stressed to.

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