For the ladies only!?

Kayla J

ok. thats really stupid how she let him back..but i do know how she feels.my boyfriend hit me and i took him back..but finally i just left. and i moved somewhere else. and practically started a new life. found a new man and now im alot happier..she needs to leave now

Scigirl

I have absolutely no idea. You are doing the right thing and are a true friend. People that just stand by and watch that is ridiculous. There is no excuse. You can't make her do what she doesn't want but you can tell her how you feel.

The.crazy.1.you.know?

idk WHATS wrong with this gal, but she needs to get away from him!!!
seriously!!!
you cant just let things like that happen and shy from the truth when it hurts!!!1
she may feel like she done something wrong in her life and this is her punishment for it, but she needs to realize that it's not how things are suppose to work.
try to get her alone and talk to her.
good luck for both of you, and have a good holiday!!

Jennifer

Because it's easier to lie to someone in that situation than it is to tell them the truth. She's lucky she has you, but honestly, she needs to smarten up and there's nothing you nor anyone else can do to speed up that process.

melissa

tell her you can no longer be her friend, because she is going to be killed by that idiot, that unless she makes a plan and leaves him, you can not speak to her any longer....if you see him hit her, call the police,talk to her parents, see if they can help....otherwise you have to leave, staying her friend is telling her she is right

wildthingmr64

i am a woman and i went through it with one marriage all i can say is be her friend and always be there for her never lead her astray
if u want to help and she does help before itis to late it will probably get worst as times goes on if i was in your shoes i would call your local women battled shelter they can give u advise on how to help her
to me it sounds like he has threated her and she is afraid to leave him if she was like me he may be treaten to kill her if does try to leave she is in fear and dont know how to tell anybody
do u know why he broke her arm she probably was trying to leave only she is the only one to know u are the only one who can help please dont listen to others she really needs to get help or u can tlk to police officer and see what they could do just please dont give up on her

georgia_peach

Don't give up.
Maybe you can still convince her to move out and she also
needs to get a divorce to get this "man" out of her life!!

jjmoose2001

I agree, the situation is stupid. But she must feel really bad about herself to put herself through that. Maybe instead of putting somone down that already feels bad about themselves and is being abuse, you can encourage her to take a self esteem class. Abuse is a bad cycle that is hard to stop, but maybe if you get her feeling better about herself, she will find courage to leave.

Granny 1

For some stupid reason some women believe they deserve the abuse.

brigitte12

you should talk to her and telll her that she should laeve him. i dont like how men treat woman sometimes!

leopardshaz

My god is she mad kick this louse to the kerb and in the b***s as well!!!

ashhxxxxx

This is a very sensitive issue and she doesnt need to be scolded for her mistakes. Thats just childish. No one wants to hold her accountable because it isn't her fault. Abuse isn't always just physical. She could have been mentally abused by him as well. He could have some kind of controlling grasp on her that she can't fight when she sees him and no one will hold her accountable for how stupid she was is because shes not stupid. What she needs is lot of support and needs to be kept away from him and she needs to get therapy and possibly file a complaint if that is what she wants to do.

Ms. Prissy

he is a victim of abuse. Don't call her stupid. She feels trapped and she doesn't understand what's going on. She knows that he hits her and that it isn't right. The only way to help an abused person is to let them see it for themselves. It's hard to see a loved one or friend get beat, but we have no choice. Most people tend not to get into domestic issues because of the fact that they always go running back to their abuser. It hurt's to say this but she is going to have to get tired of being beat on. Just be there for her when she needs you that's all. Good luck!

Kathi D

Most people have never been in a situation like hers. Thats why they don't hold her accountable for it. Actually, it is the guys fault 95% and her 5%. She is the only one who can make the decision to leave him. When the time is right, she, and only she will know it. I was there once before, and it took me a loooooong time to know when it was the right time. (The time when he went after my son) Up until then I thought he would change, and believed him when he said that he would. He is now living with an old friend of mine, and I know he is doing the same thing to her as he did to me, but like myself, she is in denial about how bad he needs help, and refuses to press charges when he does hit her. The only one that she is protecting is him. He needs to be charged to the fullest extent of the law, so he will get the help that he needs.
Until she gets to "the right time" and only then, will she be ready to leave him both physically and mentally. The only thing that you can do is be there for her, she is going to need to have a good friend with wide shoulders to cry on when the time comes.

ladymaryum

This is truly sad, but the reality is she loves this man, no matter what he does, he has her mind so twisted, she probably thinks no one wants her, and no one will love her as he does. He prolly put on the charm, again, got her to trust him, and she fell for it. The only you can do really as a friend, try to advise her to get some type of counseling, this man sounds like a control freak, and he has her mind. Now, you say dont give you the love him crap, it's true, if not she wouldnt have brought him into her new place. This woman loves this man, inspite of what he does. This is something, where she gets tired of it and want to move on. She will not listen to you when it comes to him. Love is blind, keep that in mind, she dont see it as you are seeing it. She's lying next to him at night, he is the one who is whispering sweet nothings in her ear, he is the one who is loving her. See when these type or relationships are good, they are good. If you want to remain her friend, you can suggest consuling, but if she refused, then you have to move back, when she comes to you again, about the beating, Tell her, you love her as a friend, and it hurts you to see her going through this, so, it would be best if she didnt tell you about it, when she is not planning on doing anything about it. Just a waste of her time, as well as yours. be firm, soon she will get tired, if she is not killed, which I hope she sees it, as it is. Then she will take action, until, all you can do is be there for her. People dont like getting involved, when they know she is going to go back, so it's easier not to get involved. In some cases, when you try to get involved, you become no longer a friend. Are you falling in love with her? the reason I am asking, if that's the case, then you have just cause to want her to end the relationship., then share your feeling, and let her know, she will not have to be worried over this type of treatment. Depend on how violent this man, is he may try to come after you. So that's why many avoid getting involved. In the end, if she wants to be with him, to her death, she will. There is nothing you can do...but try to be a friend, and take yourself out, when she starts talking about the abuse. This is something she will have to decide, on her own. I wish you the best, and try not to worry, we have no power over others lives, they as we, make our own choices.

ver_jen

I think they are not pointing it out to her because they know it will only serve to push her away. If she has made up her mind to be with this guy, there is nothing anyone can say or do to make her change her mind.

An abusers "goal" weather intentional or unintentional is to aggravate those around the "target' enough so they leave her alone or don't hang with her anymore. If they succeed in doing that, they can be as abusive as they want and the person will feel like there is no place to turn. By just letting her figure it out for herself.... and being there for her when her senses return... she might be able to escape again.

I don't know why women go back to this sort of thing. It has nothing to do with love. It is sad but some people can not seem to get it through their heads that it isn't acceptable.

miriahstevens

All I can say is that she will not listen to anybody until she realizes for herself that he is bad for her. Nothing, absolutely nothing, is going to "force" a change on her psyche. She might agree with you when you see her and talk to her, but she will change her mind as soon as she is back in front of him.

Be careful that you don't say to much and lose a friend...you seem to be a good example for her. But that is all you can be.

Actions speak louder than words. She will learn from your example more than she will learn from anything you say.

suehellen

if everybody, including friends family, not to mention the As4hole she has at home call her stupid, she might be thinking its true, instead of judging her for taking him back, you should help her get out of it, if youre her friend at least take picture of her bruises and tell her to give you the entire history of this abuse, if she ever wants to get out and call the police youll be the friend who would have this file against him and will help her go trough this nightmare, dont call her stupid, feel sorry that she dosent know any better.

freshman

Stupid woman is hopeless. Now already a broken hand, what will be the next.

shamieya

You are holding her accountable for being stupid. Isn't that enough? People around her probably have gone through the same thing and accepted it.

â™¥Pure Evilâ™¥

U can tell someone how dumb they are til ur blue in the face, it's up to them to realize it. In due time she will, hopefully it won't be to late. In her head she loves him yadayadayada, so there is nothing anyone can do but be supportive to her until she realizes that he's no good. SHE has to see that, no one can convince her of it. She fell into a routine and now it's up to her to get out of it. Just keep telling her she desrves better sooner or later she'll start to believe it. Good luck!

luvly

i'm not sure why no one wants to be open and honest with her, but u as her friend all u can do is keep talking to her and hopefully she'll began to realize that this relationship is not a good one before it's too late, don't listen to everyone else, speak ur mind but not in a mean way like calling her stupid and maybe it'll get through to her

kumarcl

women are complex. Lot of women behave this way. You can;t help her, if she does not want you to.

Robyn J

they know how she feels for him and they don't want to get between them.

babygirl

Hello, I have been in bad relationship like that before and i was beeten into a coma. She is stupid for letting him back into her life. She needs to leave him and get a restraining order before its to late. When she gets beet and you see marks or something you should report it to the police right away. Her safety is on the line right now with him there and he will never change. The way I see it once a man beets a woman they will never stop and they will never change. Dont let people talk to you like they have been about keeping quiet cause by not saying something or not going to the police isnt helping her at all. I cant stand the thought of another woman being beeten by a man . I really hope everything goes ok and that she gets away from him right away. GOOD LUCK!!

Kate M

Wow I think you need to be a lot nicer and understanding to this women. yes it is hard to belive there are a lot of women who do stay in these relationships but oyu have to understand why. the men beat them not only physically but also mentally. studies have said they make them belive they are worthless and that theres no one else out there for them and many men who beat women tell them things like if you dont stay with me ill kill your whole family. they brainwash them to make them feel theyre not worth anything. but thank goodness she got out of the relationship! try to be more understanding and dont EVER call her stupid otherwise your treating her like she was being treated.

springful

Your friend maybe experiencing a time in her life she feels she doesn't want to be alone. Maybe she wants to be loved, and the only love she remembers, whether it was a hug, kiss, or a punch, is what she is missing. At this point, all you can do is still be here friend. Don't make here feel less than, she already feels that with no help at all. Do document everything you see, bumps bruises, and encouraging her to report it. If if comes necessary you take pictures and save them. I hope this help.

Groggy G

hold her accountable..? she's already paying for it.

Texalaska

becuz theyre nice-or just plain stupid- i believe in wat your saying and no matter wat mite happen afterward call the cops (or other authority) and report it. its for theyre own good

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