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jjayferg
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If the problems you had in the past were due to him cheating, I'd say that is enough. You must have given him another chance before and look what he did with it. |
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Sidewinder
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If your marriage means anything to you and him, I would strongly suggest that you both go see a good faith-based marriage counselor this week. It may cost some money, but I guarantee that divorce will cost more. Good luck. |
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Jewel
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Enough is enough honey. |
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bronzebabekentucky
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i think you already know its enough, dont you? |
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links305
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ok first off why were you on a dating site. if you feel that its time to go just make up your mind and do it |
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James Dean
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I'd say it was time to leave him.
However, why were YOU on the dating site? |
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Tommy J
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yes you should be upset that he has an ad in a dating website, however shouldnt he also be upset that you found him on one? there must be a reason for this also, I wouldnt give him the benefit of the doubt and if his friend did this for a joke then his friend should have told you about it before hand, I was married for almost 10 years and I also found my ex-wifes photo on one, and yes there is a reason that we are divorced, be careful. trust is a big part of marriage without it the marriage is pretty much over. |
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Mickey
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I would print it off and keep it and keep checking it intermittently. Which friend did it? Call the friend or the friend's wife (girlfriend) and ask. Sorry but he is blowing his trust. While you need to be cautious about how much you tell him you distrust him now, you also don't need to let your guard down. I would tell him it really has you bothered. Depending on how he reacts would tell you a lot. Did he blow it off and tell you you're being silly or did he see where you're coming from and take you with him to delete it??? |
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wantstoknow
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You need to decide for yourself, is all this pain, stress and disrespect are worth your time and energy? Do you believe he can change? If so, do you believe he would change for you and your marriage? If you answered no to any of those questions, you need to move on. I promise you, he will never stop screwing around, and most likely he is looking for a girl that would feel bad for him because he will tell her that he is hurt since the divorce, which never happened, and that he is not ready for a relationship but he will make sure that she understands that he wants to feel loved, if you know what I mean. Move on honey, you are so much better off without him! |
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Sufi
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i'd say you don't need to leave but you do need to take action to improve the relationship. find out what your hubby's needs are the drives him to do this stuff. swearing and promising is not enough. you have to change things. i would say take up tantra or nonviolent communication or CHANGE things in yourr marriage. |
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mara
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if he is still willing to make it work, give him the chance. if he gives up on you, then atleast you gave him all the chance you can then there will be no regrets in your life about him. you gave him all the chance he wants. so if he wants you back saying no will be much easier |
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§Sally§
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Whether he did it or his friends did it, HE is not respecting you. Insist he remove it from the dating site and see if he'll go to couple's counseling with you. If not, go alone.
One of the number one things you need in a good relationship is mutual respect. If he's not respecting you, you need to take care of yourself. Best wishes. |
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kk
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I'd say you must be questioning this relationship if you are looking on dating websites...Finding his picture??? Why were you even at that website? Looking for yourself or checking up on him? Seems this relationship is in deep trouble. I don't buy the "friend" story. You either need to get out fast or seek counseling. This is serious stuff. I wouldn't stay. You will be questioning his honesty all the time. |
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Lady L
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What were you doing on the dating website? |
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jw
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I have never heard or known of any man of any relation ever posting a fake ad on a dating site as a joke. Its an urban myth. Plenty of people have heard of it...but who has actually done it?
No one, that's who.
If you think its time to leave then it probably is.
I wish you all the best. |
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U.S.Veteran
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...and you, too, were on this "dating site" ?!?
Just what were you looking for?
. |
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Jay C
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I'm sorry to hear that you are having hard time in your married life. You know, as adults we do have our weak moments. When you got married you vowed to be with your husband in good and bad things as well. A relationship of that kind is not easy to replace that's why I would suggest the following:
1- Talk to him calmly
2- Expose your life since you got married and try to see what was the motive behind his behaviour.
3-Ask him and ask yourself how do you see your relationship and if it is healthy or no
4-ask him if you did the same what would be his reaction.
And from there you can take it step by step.
Keep in mind one thing: Everyone deserves a second chance. If nothing has changed then I would suggest that you would leave. You have the right to live happily and have a man to love you and to be for you, only you. |
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ZURDITA
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Do what will make YOU happy... nothing else. Forget about what he may feel, look for what makes you feel happy and then go for it... Only YOU are the important party.... |
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latinatexas
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Mines was not a dating website but a real affair and I do not trust my husband but I am still holding on for what I dont know I guess I am use to hima dn not ready to move on! I understand my light bulb has not turned on either. People are going to tell u to divorce but it aint that easy! It is always easy to say what u would do until you are in that situation! |
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:(
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When you love somebody you can never say "ok that's it"... Then you realize you're just hurting yourself by staying with him... What he did is really wrong.. Or what his friend did really is disrespectful to you... Leave him and if really loves you or care about you, he would come back to you...
Check your relationship... Maybe he's bored and wants something new... Make your relationship more interesting and enjoable for both of you... make it exciting... dress differently, cook differently, give him time and act like you dont care about him. dont call him, dont answer his calls... tell him you're having girls night out... etc |
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AngelDust
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tell him not to let the door hit his *** on the way out |
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The Warden
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Wow what kind of friends does your husband have to play a stupid joke like that? I really don't know about that being a joke. And if he has already screwed up in the past, then it's obvious that your trust for this man is deteriorating. But you need to ask yourself, how much you can take. With everybody it is different. I was ignorant when I knew my fiance was cheeting and staying until he admitted it. I'll never let it get that far again. I could understand if you stay...he had a somewhat reasonable exuse, but if anything ever happened again, maybe that would be the time to let him go. |
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Shy Girl S
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I was in a very similar situation. I found a photo of a woman on my then-husband's cell phone. When I asked him about it, he told me it was a joke. A mate of his had supposedly sent him the pic. To cut a long story short, I called the number, spoke to the woman (who was very helpful towards me and shocked to learn that the guy she had met on a dating site was indeed still married). She gave me the dating site link and I checked it out. Turns out my husband was on quite a few dating sites complete with photo's!
I guess he didn't think I would find out. I probably never would have if it wasn't for the pic on his cell phone. Needless to say, this was one of the many straws that determined I had to leave him and get a divorce a.s.a.p.
If a man or woman are serious about their marriages, they would not be on any dating sites at all....the internet is just another way for some people to cheat and it's so much easier for them.
My advice to you is, get yourself a lawyer and start the divorce proceedings....ask yourself this, what kind of friend would put your husband's photo and profile on a dating site? A joke is a joke but this is far more serious....your husband is guilty and the only thing he is remorseful for (if he is at all) is the fact that he got caught.
I'm a fairly open minded person, except when it comes to cheating on your partner...this is something I will draw the line at. If he felt there was something missing in the relationship, then he should have come to you and discussed it openly like a mature, married man....not snuck around behind your back to play the cheating game.
Whatever you decide to do, I wish you all the best. I'm sorry you had to go through such a thing. I know only too well what it's like. |
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an88mikewife
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You know, even if he is telling the truth (he is lying by the way), he has friends who are not respectful of your marriage, and sounds like if they have done this, then there have been other things said and done to undermine your marriage. Tell him to lose his friends and straighten up or it is OVER! |
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Edward
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ask him to stop denying and give you the respect you deserve. confront him, and get him to tell you the truth about how he feels about the marriage. if he does not feel the same way as you do, leave him. no one, absolutely no one at all, should put up with cheaters. |
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dukalink6000
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When yuo decide that it is enough.
He will just be more careful and continue on |
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CoolFin69
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You could always try one quick round of counseling before the divorce. But, honestly, this sounds like it is over whether you guys officially end it or not. |
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Gooza_23
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I will bet that he is screwing around on you. You have to look out for yourself and can't allow someone to walk all over you. Typically if you suspect him and have seen his picture on the dating site your gut feeling is right. Be strong, have some pride and find a guy that you don't have to feel like he's cheating on you. |
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Troubled
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"He claims that a friend of his did this as a joke and that he thought it was already deleted" And you believed this? If it WAS a joke and he thought it was deleted they WHY was it on his favorites list for easy access? He knew it was still there and if you had checked the internet history he probably has been visiting it regularly. |
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