 
|
llsnwtsn
 |
you both need counselling. if you, as a woman, can forgive and FORGET and thats the way you want to go then go for it. maybe you should try and find out why you both cheated in the first place |
|
Bryan M
 |
I suggest that you pray, because God will give you the answers. I hope that your husband will be man enough to admit that he was wrong, and will change, not because you want him to, but because he wants to. I don't agree with people on here who say once a cheater, always a cheater, because someone who cheats can change, but they have to want to change and be willing to change. I also think you need to pray and ask God to help you to forgive him. Not saying that if you forgive him that it gives him a free pass to do it again, but it's what God would want you to do. And also pray for healing, because I know your hurt.
I think you both need marriage counceling, with a pastor. My wife and I have went through marriage counceling with a pastor from our church and it really helped us both alot. We had some really bad trust issues. And it really helped.
Hope that this helps.
Take care and God Bless |
|
KRIS
 |
i don't think he is da right guy for you.
da friend isn't a friend either.
think it's time for you to start hangin with a better group of people. |
|
Leslie N
|
im sorry but i think you both need help. If he is getting back at you for cheating, id go see a couple therapist to see if there is a chance that it could still work. |
|
Tasha
|
If he keeps cheating I don't see any reason to keep him around. |
|
arrocket8
 |
no, don't. Unless you really, really love him, and think he might change... |
|
J D
|
I'm a firm believer that once someone cheats, you can never trust that person not to do it again. If you have also cheated and he did the same and you can still forgive each other, that's up to you two. Just be ready to keep forgiving each other because it's almost sure to happen again. |
|
sisimone
|
Leave him, Leave him, Leave him. It's one thing to make a mistake or temporarily lose sight of what's important to you in life,but you said he cheats repeatedly. You feel like well you cheated first and got pregnant and he forgave you and stuck with you so you cant possibly leave him for the same thing. Wrong. See, he's slick as hell he knows you feel this way so he's using it against you. Holding it over your head. He may not say it, but oh believe me he knows exactly what he's doing. You did it once, you made a mistake, he keeps doing it. What happens when he brings you a disease. Something you can't cure. You've got to grow up and realize it ain't about just you and him anymore, you got kids you have to set an example for and even more than that you have you be around for and in good health. Leave him, the get an AIDS test. |
|
jinxygrl
 |
first of all where did you learn to speak/write english?
dont take him back because all that will do is involve you and your children in a life long drama episode. leave him and tell him that you know you havent cheated since you told him. for him to turn around and do it to you, is not right. 2 wrongs dont make it right. 2 lefts dont make a right. apparently he is not a man, he is being a child. |
|
kyle g
|
You are ordered to forgive not reconcile. This sounds like a catastrophe. The two of you don't need to be married. You made a vow to God to do what? Does God receive any glory from an adulterous marriage? |
|
HappyGirl
|
My husband had an affair and we stayed together. He came to me and told me. That made all the difference in the world. I think if you truly love each other you should stay with him. Its not easy but If he forgave you, I think you should try to forgive him. God would appreciate that and reward you! Your children would thank you! |
|
Rienzi H
|
It might be that the two of you need to sit down and decide together if you want to make a go of this. If yes, it needs to be with the understanding up front that neither of you cheat. Part of the conversation also needs to be about what each of you are (or were, in your case) looking for when you cheat. What is it that each of you need from the other that maybe you haven't shared yet?
If you didn't have kids in the picture, I'd be among those who suggest you split up. But you do have kids. And it sounds like you're saying he is a good father. I think the kids have a stake in this whole thing; it's not just about you and him.
Try to hold it together for the kids by setting new ground rules for yourselves. Maybe there's an older married couple who both of you know and respect. You might seek them out for guidance. |
|
sweetgranny06
 |
maybe he got even because you cheated first you must of hurt him having a baby by your lover |
|
[KoNoha_KuNoicHi]
|
Hi, there...
I read your problem...
I'm sorry for you...
You're christian, right?
Then do what a christian does!
^_^
Lock yourself in your room...
Keep the atmosphere light...
Close your eyes...
Fold your hands...
Ready your heart...
And pray to God...
Tell Him all of your feelings...
And ask Him for help...
Ask Him for patience...
and a forgiving heart...
If you're done...
Say "Amen"...
And God will be there for you...
You'll feel His presence that will NEVER leave you...
Okay?
Alright,
I've done my part, you do yours, and God will do His.
Hope this helps you...
^_^
[sorry for the "childish" steps... I'm only a 13 year old Indonesian girl... heheh...]
GOD BLESS YOU... |
|
stellapolariss
|
I think you need to look on how you treat your husband and not the other way around. In any relationship, whether with a man or a friend, you get what you give. If you want your marriage not only to survive, but to be good, you need to show him every day how much you love him and respect him. I think it's fantastic that he stays with you and raises another man's child as his own, and I think you need to tell him and show him that few men would have done the same. What's his best sides? What's he good at? Remember to focus on that, show him that you really appreciate these qualities. You both did a mistake and I think the best way to get over it is to focus on what's good in your marriage. And you're the one that will start!
My best wishes to you |
|
Latino Heat 4ever
|
it's really up to you if you give your husband another chance or not. you have to understand that he is hurt....and when people are hurt, they do stupid things and try to work thru their anger and hurt. you cheated on him with some guy and had a kid....now, he has cheated on you (a couple of times???) and you are wondering what you should do. you can take some responsibility for this as well and understand that your husband is still hurting from your actions. maybe you two should seek some help if you want to make your marriage work. |
|
oldokie1
|
You may forgive, but you will never forget. If he can't live by Christian beliefs get rid of him. You deserve better. |
|
serialkiller
|
The bible reads NO! No more chances. That's the only loop hole out of marriage for a christian. If he does it once it WILL happen again. Love him or not time cures all and you can find a guy really respects you. This guy dose not at all. He thinks your week and stupid. He took you for granted for that very reason. Don't let him do it again or he will be right. Then he wins. |
|
ebabybrown
|
The old saying is what goes around come around, but two wronds dont make a right.If i was your husband i wouldve left you but he sounds like he is a good guy to stay with you. You need to talk with him about your marrage and what you two can agree on be honest god will forgive you. but the people you love will never forget |
|
mankeykors
|
Forgiving him is okay but you must save yourself. Being with him means killing yourself and in Christian faith. Suicide in diffirent ways is still a sin.
See:Movie Constantine. |
|
Lady Hewitt
|
Only if he stops the cheating and is sorry and wants you and the marraige.... He has to be willing to change and work on the marriage with you both... talk with your pastor about this too and see why guidance they can give you here... This is your choice though... Also go to http://www.marriagetoday.org and email Jimmy and Karen Evans from there and ask them this and they may have some advice and help for you as well. I will be praying for you and this marriage. |
|
Vonetta G
|
First, I love you for your honesty. As a fellow Chistian I applaud you for not wanting to "take the easy way&run away". Like I always say divorce is easy being committed is not only difficult it is also transcendental. You both prove to be good people deep down by forging each other for some incredibly hurtful things.
But 2 things are troublesome about what you said. First, this is not a test from God, this is called the consequences of both your actions and the result of being disobedient to the ordincances of God. (Don't worry this doesn't make you a bad peson -- just a person). Second, your husband shouldn't have to "prove he wants to be married to you". He IS married to you. You cannot set yourself up as a god over him to whom he has to report and please. Be fair with each other. You both sound petty insecure. He sounds like he is still angry about your getting pregnant by another man -- rightly so (People have murdered for lesser offenses). He will continue to cheat until he truly forgives you and works with God to sort out his anger. |
|
sassy gall
|
You will need to decide if you can really forgive and forget . I would say if you know that you are the type of person that would dwell on this for the rest of your life and be unable to ever trust him, you may consider moving on. It sound like you want to stay
because you are using your vows as an excuse to stay,he has already broken his. I do not think God had anything to do with it.We are human and make our own choices and mistakes, we choose to follow or ignore God. the choice is yours and you know what you are able to live with and accept. |
|
Wise Advice
|
You've both behaved badly, and you both know it. Try to visualize another seven years together. Is it a pretty picture? Or at least mostly positive? If so, then talk, get counseling, stay together, work things out. Is it horrifying to think of another seven years together? Then go your separate ways. But make sure the kids are well taken care of. |
|
pammybear1971
|
Both of u have issues not just him, You have to see why he is still cheating is there something that she is doing that u are not? Sometimes alot comes into play. you & him need to sit down & see whther u love each other enough to stick it out or if u will be better apart . It will not be easy but don't fool yourself to belive that it's all good when it is not. The trust weas broken whne u cheated first & you need to know where his heart really is. |
|
luckystar
|
you and he need to talk to a marriage counselor because both
of you have issues that you need to deal with. your situation
is very common when there no trust, time to really look at what
real going on. other wise this will not end well. and you both
have children so you need to get it together once and for all
if nothing else for your children sake. this is not a good
thing. |
|
mommyoftwo
|
I am a christian too, BUT once he commits adultery and especially when another woman is pregnant....I would leave him. Trust me Once a cheater ALWAYS a cheater. You can get something from him. |
|
|
|
|
No Spam
Adult 
Gambling
Unfinished
Deception
Plagiarism
Not English
