Girlfriend is pregnant, should i still think of marrying her?

happy 1

wow. use protection. no i don't think u should marry her just for the baby. only marry her if you want to. don't be forced to do anything that you don't want. you will be sad and miserable with life. be a father.

Marie_(Canada)

NO, you can still be there for your child even though you're not marrying her.

No Name

Don't get married just because she is pregnant.You got her pregnant very early on in the relationship,just wait and see how things go.That is a very large burden,having a unplanned child while trying to finish med school,supporting a gf,a gf who doesn't intend on finishing up school or working.Don't rush into anything!!

laura1977

Don't marry her because of the baby, that's a divorce waiting to happen. Personally, I had a "scare" awhile back and decided right then and there that even if my BF asked, I would decline until after the baby was born and a little older. I would NEVER want to get married because I was pregnant, I would always feel like that's the only reason he asked. Put it to her that way...tell her that you'd be marrying her for the wrong reason and ask that she give you all some time to adjust and decide down the road for the right reasons. 4.5 months is NOT long enough anyway you cut it.

Hammy

If u love her then marry her, but if u don't then its so the wrong thing 2 do...As u said u would support the baby..Why should u drop out of college ? That's not fair & I don't see why u should, as its important 4 u 2 carry on & pass ur exams & b qualified surely?

Rebekah&:)

So, she dropped out of high school, has no plans for the future career she wants a HUGE family, and she wants to stay at home and you to support everything.

I say tough nubbs to her.

She needs to know that your not going to support EVERYTHING. She needs to get a job but still support the baby.

You've only been dating for 5 months and she wants to spend forever with you.

Wow this is messed up.

:l

â™¥ â™¥HONESTY RULESâ™¥â™¥

People should never get married just because of a baby.

She should not expect to live off of you either.

Be there for the baby, but don't get stuck with a woman with no ambition.

lonewolf

Well son stand up and be a man.A woman is supposed to be the homemaker while the husband is to be the breadwinner. That was God"s plan from the beginning.

zeddicuz101

telll her you are just not ready for a baby,and DO NOT F|_|CKING MARRY HER JUST BECAUSE SHE IS WITH CHILD! MY UNCLE DID THAT WITH HIS FIRST WIFE AND IT WAS A MESS AND SHE IS A *****, AND THEY DID DIVORCE and now he is about to get married again, to a great girl but please you guys dont want a baby at this time and DO NOT marry her because she is with child

Anji

You do not know her well enough to marry her. Just because you have fathered this child does not mean that you should get on your knees and throw all of your values down to the ground.

Be there for her during this pregnancy but please do not jump into marriage with someone who is clearly not on the same page as you. It is a lifelong committment and you want to get ti right.

Good luck.

nancy b

this is a question that only you can answer, but it looks like you are thinking about it in all directions. you do need to let her know everything that you want and do not want. i feel that a lot of relationships fall apart because one or both do not talk about everything they want or do not want and then when they don't get it are very disappointed. and how does the other person know what you want or need if you don't tell them???? communication is the most important. i don't care what anyone says.

lilbitt_637

Sounds like you already thought about marrying her. But should you? No..you have only known her for a little more than 4 months, you think she's changed now? Ha you only know the half..
Being premed and all you have to think that her first thought is that you will be a gravy train.. Beware. If you marry her there will be more at stake. Be an involved father from a far. She can ruin your career if you start it with her as your wife and find out that she's not for you later.

Mr. Taco

The baby is not the issue here, really. I mean, presuming it is your kid, you are going to be responsible for that baby for the next 18 years, so it IS an issue. But it is not THE issue. THE issue is you and her. That is how you need to approach marrying this person. Do you want to spend the rest of your life with her? If so, then I strongly urge you to get both of you into some couples' counseling pronto. You have a LOT of issues to work out before you even THINK of marrying her, including her attitude that you will just support her. Personally, I would never marry a woman who did not want some sort of career for herself, but that is just me. If you do NOT want to marry her, however, then don't!! Marrying for the sake of a baby is a HUGE mistake. That said, be prepared to pay child support if it is your kid.

Good luck!

Bean

Well, you are half of the reason why she is preggo so you should have half the say in the matter. You need to sit down and get everything out in the open and talk about how you are both feeling.

The 3rd Nipple

My brother has gone through what you're currently going through. Basically it comes down to do you want to marry her because you love her...or do you want to marry her because of this child? You can only pick one option there...you can't have both because if you marry for the child then you're risking lots of marriage problems down the road. If you marry her because you love her, and sharing a child together is just a bonus...then by all means go marry her.

As for my brother...he chose not to marry because although he loves his girlfriend...they have some problems in their relationship and he wants those to sort out before marrying her. He's also against marrying for the sake of sharing a child.

dionstrick

HELL NO SHE SOUNDS LIKE A GOLD DIGGER!!!!!

island3girl

DO NOT MARRY HER. If you were not going to marry her anyway, then do not do it for the baby.

You can still be part of the baby's life and upbringing without being married to her.

I seriously suggest you see an attorney. Find out about child support, visitation, whether she can move out of state with the child (and you pay for it), and what exactly your obligations AND rights are.

Additionally DO NOT SLEEP WITH HER ANYMORE!!! She will continue to get pregnant and try to hold onto to you as long as possible and ultimately you will resent her.

good luck to you.

nikfu

You need to tell her that you don't want to get married right now, and you don't know how you'll feel in the future. The relationship is too young. Sure, you can be a supportive father to the child, but that doesn't mean you have to marry her. You can tell her that you'll keep dating just like you were before, and when the baby comes, you might have a better idea if she's the one for you, but that you aren't ready to support her while she stays at home having child after child, which seems to be her plan right now.

~Smoochies~

If she wasn't pregnant, could you see yourself married to her? That is the question you need to be asking yourself. Don't marry her just bc she is pregnant as a baby in an unhappy home is just as bad as a baby in a single parent home. As far as her now wanting to stay home with the baby...hormones and becoming a new mom change a LOT about the way you look at things. You are of marrying age and once you see that baby I bet you will have a new found love for the woman that helped make him/her and you won't want to be away from them. As for med school and a family...that would be tough but doable. And she can work and be pregnant at the same time...I commend you on wanting to be an active participant in the baby's life, hurray for you. Good luck!

My dude won!!!!!

She wants a lot a little too fast. You don't have to be with her just because there is a baby. Just do what you are supposed to as far as the child is concerned

CarlisleGirl

You, as a med student, can do some meaningful research on this, and I suggest you do so immediately. I have a feeling her hormones are all over the place and taking her along for a ride. Whether you both like it or not, you are in this situation together, and time is passing inexorably.

You have a long road ahead of you, and if she can get sane for a moment, she will soon remember that. You will have a lot of stress for a matter of years to come as you follow your course of study and preparation and even on into your professional life.

My suggestion is that you find a counselor who could work with the two of you to settle things down to a reasonable situation for a while. Just a couple of sessions could help you work out a pact for how these next 6 months can go and how to deal with conflicts that will arise. (And you will have someone available if you need a third party, too.) Then insist that she go with you, for the good of all parties, including the baby.

You cannot be forced to make a loving home, but you can willingly take charge of making things as right as possible, starting today. I think her raging hormones have the best of her at the moment, and I bet she is very very scared right now.

teezer18

children do need both parents to be there for them, but i dont think you should have to marry her if you are having second thoughts about her!!

Marra's mommy

Well, first off, it sounds like even if you wanted to, right now you can't support her financially on your own. You need to tell her that the two of you won't be able to eat if you both don't work. That just happens sometimes. Many of us would like to be able to stay home and raise our children, but if you can't afford to, especially since you're still a student, she as the mother will have to work as well.

Second, if you end up making decent money after graduating, what is so wrong about her wanting to stay home and raise children? Being a stay at home mother can be very rewarding and is a job in itself.

But I will say, you've only been dating for 4 1/2 months. How can you be sure you two want to marry? It sounds almost like marriage didn't come into the picture until she got pregnant. And having a child is not a reason to marry, not if the two of you aren't in love or even ready to be married.

The Wife

You need to tell her that right now it is just not feasible for you to support her and a baby. Tell her you have no problem with her having one and you have no problem supporting it but this is all unplanned and you can't also support her right now. She needs to work in order to have financial needs met. Tell her it doesn't have to be forever but you would have to give up everything you worked hard for so you could go out and get a job and giving up on your future is too much of a risk to take since a medical career is what you want and in the end would be the best for both her and any children she has. She needs to stop thinking only about herself.

â™¥

you don't have to marry her just because she
is pregnant. you don't even have to stay with her
just as long as you help out with the baby when
it does come or tell her how you feel that you don't
want to be married to a stay at home wife and etc.

best of luck =)

Congrats on the Baby.
it might be scary now but once it comes
you will be happy and not want to leave it's side.

michelle

dont do it! what til the baby comes and see if it is truely yours. I know from the rumor mills a dear friend is currently preggo, engaged and he isnt smart eough to to the math to know she got preg over the holiday they fought and she spent with another..... small neighbor news is fast. dont know how she'll web of lies will last...

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