Girls, what does this mean, exactly?

Doc Phil

that is definitely possible but there is no way i would want to be in that relationship. do you want to go through the rest of your life with those accusations?
this is backwards for your situation but it might get the point across

i would rather live with someone i trust but don't love than live with someone i love but don't trust

The African Queen

I think when a person is paranoid about cheating, it is because they are very insecure. I doubt she's doing it herself because then it seems like she'd care less about what you're doing. But if she's acting that way now, I doubt it will change. And any time you want any time with your friends or to yourself, you're going to have to go through hell to get it.

Queen of Beer

She is extremely insecure. Tell her to go get some help.

Blue T

I am a guy but I think that you should lose her now. Possessive partners are controlling and make everyone miserable.

sheloves_dablues

Or... They could have extremely low self-esteem...

Her fear of being betrayed is hers to own and doesn't mean she is betraying you. It just means she's super paranoid, jealous and possessive. Yikes!

Kassiopeia

You have hit it on the head, she has self esteem issues and feels unworthy. You can re-assure her but she needs to hear it and accept it. Because she is coming on strong does not mean she is cheating but she really does need to get over her previous experience or she will drive away every man who comes near her, has she had counselling ? if not perhaps she could try it, it may help.

morbidlybeautiful

that could very easily be the case, she could also just be insanely untrusting ...

Happy-2

I think it comes from insecurity. Some people are insecure and they make these accusations in order to get reassurance. Unfortunately, what they don't take into account is that this is annoying and can hurt their partners' feelings. Tell your girlfriend that whenever she's feeling insecure, to instead ask for a hug or an "I love you" from you. And when she does, always give her one. Doing this *instead* of accusing will make her feel better when she's feeling insecure, and make you feel good about helping her feelings.

benjamin m

I agree with your way of thinking 95%. There are certain people though that are just So afraid of rejection that they subconsciously push them away.

Chronix

She just has no trust and you should either talk to her about this or maybe distance yourself because the time you spend with her might not be worth it if she can never trust you.

Marcus

She is either cheating on you or will never let up about you cheating on her because of her own insecurity. People like this have a tendency to create the things they fear because that is where all of their focus goes.

What if Tiger Woods, instead of spending time practicing his game, spent his days sitting around wondering if he would perform poorly in golf competition? Chances are greater that he would not perform as well as he could. Why? Because all of his focus was on what he didn't want to happen rather than doing what he could to bring about what he did want to happen.

Another thing, if you find yourself in a constant struggle to prove your innocence when there is no real reason to suspect you of doing anything wrong, you have become an enabler. Your girlfriend's insecurities cause her to seek reassurance from you that her fears are not a reality. By catering to this unnecessary interrogation, you are teaching and training her to continue accusing you and questioning you because by doing this, she can bring about desired results. To help her break free from this vicious cycle that tortures you both, you must set limitations or boundaries for her. She must understand that once she crosses the line, you will no longer tolerate the behavior. You do not have to be rude, cruel, or forceful. You must simply refuse to acknowledge or validate her questions and accusations with answers or explanations.

Andi

That could be true. Also she like many other girls could see herself as not good enough and think you could do better she assumes that you are going off and cheating on her. It may help to talk to her and maybe even a few of her friends though it will raise suspisions you'll find some things out. Try and hang in there

sparkwing_dimond

It might be that or she is just on the immature side.

Janet W

I don't agree with the theory that they are cheating if they suspect you are. That's kind of silly. I think that your girlfriend needs some help, she is obsessed with fear and jealousy. She is so self absorbed and worried about herself, her image, her getting all the attention that she is living in a fantasy world. You can't be in this relationship for long, it will destroy you and it won't be anything worth pursuing further. She needs mental help. Ask her to seek it.

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