Give my fiance another shot or be with my friend who wouldnt be accepted cause of his skin colour?

I was engaged to a wonderful man but we ended up breaking up to take some space from one another as he hated a lot of my passions in life. I was with him since i was 17 and i am now 25. I am half Irish & from Brooklyn but grew up in Queens when i moved out with a lot of African American people and i am so close to them, they are like my family. There is this one guy there who is black that i was always so close to, he was like my best friend since i was 15 and was always there when i needed him. He always told me that he had feelings for me and told me last year that he loved me. I have a lot of strong feelings for him also but right now i feel like i love him as a friends but i am attracted to him. He wants me to start seeing him now and i really want to but i am afraid that if it doesn't work out that i could lose him as a great friend. Also my ex fiance has also been around wanting me back and i am confused as i still love him also. I would love to see here my friend & myself could go cause he is an amazing man and treats me great, he was also the first person i slept with and have a lot of history with him. My family didn't really like him because of his skin colour but hes great to me. Please any advice on this would be brilliant. Thanks

PEGGY S

Don't worry about skin color. Anyone that judges people by the color of their skin is just plain ignorant to the facts of life.

As for the relationship with your friend. Right now you are way too confused to be trying a relationship with anyone new, especially not your friend. You could seriously hurt him, if you suddenly realized that you needed to go back to your ex, or that things would not work out between you two, because you were not ready for another relationship yet.

Give this old relationship time to cool off, before you jump into another serious relationship. You will probably have a rebound relationship, if you move too quickly, and you will end up hurting someone else and maybe even yourself.

Enjoy your single life for awhile, and get your head straight before you make any life altering moves. Take care, and I wish you luck and happiness.

openminded

Who cares what your family thinks. They are ignorant. What do YOU want???

James R

Quite frankly, I don't think you should be with either of them.

Your ex and you are clearly not compatible ( you have neither of the same goals). While I suspect you want to have feelings for your friend, you don't see him as more than that- to go any further risks either unhappiness or a bad break up and the loss of a friend.

This is not an either/or situation, you can just be on your own for a bit and try and get back in touch with yourself as an independant human being.

free_angel

Forget about the so called "Mr. Wonderful" and date the 2nd guy. If your family says anything negtive about it, set them straight. Have fun dating!

mORbid FaSi Na TioN

Why would you go back to a man that "hated a lot of your passions in life"?

I would stick with the second guy. Or date around for awhile until you know what you really want.

unsung hero

Pay no attention to racist people, follow your heart.

Nina

I think you should really think about why you and your fiance broke up. Your significant other is supposed to be supportive of the things that are important to you. The fact that you said he hates some of your passions is a big deal. This will always come between you and him.

As far as this other guy is concerned, you should pursue it if you share the same feelings for him as he does for you. Don't put much thought into what your family thinks about him. I know family is important but you should live your own life. Good luck.

giftfromgod

If you really, really wanted to be with your friend, you wouldn't care what color his skin was or what others thought of him. I think you should chill for a while without either of them.

burke48186

call the waaaambulence

Psycho Therapist

Seems like you want someone to tell you that your indecisiveness is alright. It's not. You can't have both, and you can't put one off while you have a test run with the other. If your fiance hates your life's passions-what more is there to consider? you can't build a life with a person who doesn't support what is most important to you? Skin color has no bearing on this issue at all. Be with who makes you feel good about being you. Blessings.

marina L

do what makes you happy-thats all that counts

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