HELP...My husband wont leave me alone!?

Hey, just pop a cap in his ***.

ewolcenski

Ok, first of all those people telling you to leave really need to realize that it is not that easy!! I have been in this situation...You are NOT making your daughters life miserable...A mother always worries that they are, but you have to remember that she is only three, most kids that age only look at the happy memories...As far as your husband, this is what I did and it actually worked...Sit him down and tell him that he is being to OVERPROTECTIVE of you. Let him know that there are times that you just need to have your "me time"...remind him that you had a life before he came along and that sometimes you just need time to be you...reassure him that you are not cheating(unless you are) and that you do love him(if you really do)and only him...If this does not work than I suggest that you tell him that you and the kid are leaving and then wait until he is at work or out for the afternoon and get out...they have women shelters, you can change your name...do what you think is best...If you feel that your life is being threatened, than go to the police and tell them, they might not do anything and tell you to go away, but if you are persistant enough they will listen!!! Good Luck and most importantly, do what you feel is right!!

Dr Dee

leave town

thinkaboutmoney

YOu said husband, so get a divorce NOW.
He is NOT normal, and you will suffer for it. Also, your daughter will understand when she gets older.
DO not delay in moving toward separation.

There is nothing worse than feeling like a captive. Plus, a person like your "husband" is NOT stable, and you and your daughter may indeed be in danger.

Find an attorney to help you get separated, and a restraining order. He will know how to word it with the courts. You might try to get him evaluated by a therapist, to prove he is not normal. But an attorney is your first line of defense. OF course you should consider any resources in your area. If there is a sanctuary for women in you situation, seek their help. If you belong to a church, seek the help of an elder.

Don't stay like this. Years go fast, and your life is being cut short just by the misery he is imposing on you.

DramaGuy

Time to file.

queenmaeve172000

You need to find a women's shelter. They will protect you.

Goodspeed

Get professional help...a man who puts that much time and energy into anything has a quality that if you train wisely, you could just be the luckest woman on earth..seek family counceling.

Nightwriter21

Run as fast as you can. Get as far away as you can. And with your daughter. Then get a divorce. Change your name if you have to, find a way so that you can't be traced. Try to find a new life. It's too short to live like that. I think in time your daughter can understand, although that will be the roughest part of it. Good luck.

marvalbert

Wow. Ummm.....I hope you're not still living with this man. If so, move out. You need to watch yourself, dear. If this man even raises a hand at you, call the police immediately and get a restraining order. Best of luck to you. Spend as much time as possible with friends and family too so there is always someone around you.

sclady62001p

your husband has a serious problem even to the point of being dangerous i don't no what state you are from but here in south carolina stalking is against the law why does your state wont to see what will happen before they stop him doesn't make sense sure your child loves him that is her dad but what will you do if one day he goes off the deep end and hurts you and her go to your congress men and anywhere else that can help you

zeus2quincy

You need to leave him.He is not mentally stable and poses a threat to you and your child.You would be advised to seek shelter with your friends and family and steer clear of him.I worry that one of these days it will escalate from stalking to something more sinister.The man is unbalanced and you can't be sure of what he'll do.I don't mean to alarm you,but this is serious business.The news is full of domestic cases like this where a spouse goes off the deep end and tragic consequences occur.Play it safe for you and your child.My best for you and your little girl.Peace.

Dys*

...or even cap a pop in his ***!

keysfunding

Well... first of all, be sure that you aren't confusing his genuine desire to spend time with his wife (which most women would kill for and my guess is, after 10 years of marriage, you'll wish you had again)... WITH stalking as you are putting it.

Tell him you love him but need your space now and then. That you enjoy your times together but are still a person and sometimes, enjoy so "me-time."

My bet is, you just need to talk to the guy. If you really feel like he's stalking you and really feel it to be threatening, then get a divorce. However, with a screen name like "princess" anything and they type of Avatar you have given yourself, my bet is that you are already shopping for the new Mr. Right and are being cramped by him crashing your groove. In which case, he may have a good excuse for wanting to keep his eye on you.

Smiles

file for divorce. this will show your husband that you are serious about being over with him.

qusetion, was he like this when you first met him? usually guys dont just become controlling like this all of a sudden.

If he keeps stalking you when you file for the restraining order tell them you fear for your life. Does he threaten you? I think it makes a difference if he is not your husband so get the divorce.

Sorry to hear that you are going threw this.

rogdogg187

sounds like a jealous psycho. leave if u are not happy

recipe_addict

sounds to me like you need to make some decisions and stick to them. divorce him, move on. if he violates restraining orders, that is on him.

Brooklyn Girl

you need to MOVE away fast

jmmgausa

you have married a stalker get away asap.....go to a shelter...there is help out there for you....

I would first try to talk to him. Find out what he worries about, and why he does this to you. If he start abusing you or something, then tell him it's time for you two to get divorced. Gather your stuff and your child, and move out if you are seriously unhappy. Don't spend your life unhappy. Then, once you safely at a distance, erase him from your life. Take his number off your phone, block him from emailing you, then get a divorce paper. File for a divorce, and your life will no longer be unhappy. If you are worried that you will not find a home if you move out, then stay with a friend or relative until you find a proper home where you will be no longer unhappy.

redpeach_mi

you're not making her life miserable, he is. however, i have worked in enough day cares to know that some children are better off when the parents don't live together, as opposed to fighting all the time. and if you stay with him, your daughter will grow up thinking that controlling men are the norm. do you really want to see her end up with someone who is like your husband? get your own place. if you don't want to go with him, don't. if you have your own place, he can't be ther because it's trespassing. In the mean time, start drawing up divorce papers because this guy is never going to change.

butchell

you filr for a divorce, set his visitation, and go about your life. You can file harrassment charges. Keep it out of sight from your daughter, unless he starts harrassing her.

hannahbear

you need to get in a womens shelter like the other person said

hichefheidi

why did you marry him, if you don't like him? Nothing we can say will make you do the right thing, until you realize that you are not a victim, you made your choices. And then, you will begin making choices again that will hopefully better you and your baby's lives. Please choose well

G-man

Divorce him

Kazcatlover

He does sound extremely controlling and this is really unhealthy in a relationship. Do you still love him? Have you asked your husband why he feels he needs to constantly monitor your whereabouts? Does he fear you having an affair? I had a boyfriend when I was 18 who was really possessive and this eventually killed all the feelings I had for him. I found it really suffocating.

All I can suggest is that you get some marriage counselling together, if you think the marriage is worth saving, and/or your husband addresses his behaviour by also seeking counselling.

I know you have a young daughter who loves her Dad, but you need to be happy too. She will get to see her Dad and her feelings will not change towards him if you did separate. Children are extremely perceptive about how their parents are feeling and she might end up confused by what she senses. She'll know that something is wrong even if she doesn't understand what it's all about. I'm not suggesting you discuss the problem with her, but don't pretend you are protecting her while ignoring your feelings and allowing your husband to control you in this way.

stay away from him no matter how hard it is...just keep on it...go live with family and everytime he calls or comes by call the cops....and just keep doing it...dont give him what he wants....dont give up....just keep getting the cops involved....dont keep going back to him....obviously he doesnt take you seriously when you leave him...cause he gets you back...just be careful...because he may try to hurt you...i would not stay with him...your daughter may love him but you need to put your wellbeing and your daughters wellbeing first...he could do something with/to her to get to you...i wouldnt trust him if i were you...your the mother you know best......please be careful and i wish you the best...take care....

sparkling_apple

You should just pack your bags and move to another state.It sounds like he does everything he can with out breaking the law. If I were you I would just move and don't speak to him. our daughter will understand when she gets older. You and your daughters saftey is what is important.

Derek D

YOU ARE AN ADULT AND IT IS TIME TO MAKE AN ADULT DECISION

gengen

girl i've been there ..after the stalking comes the physical....it is called domestic violence...even if it is not physical..call an experienced counselor especially for domestic violence and they will give you more proffesional advice on what to do...1800-577-7777....(domestic violence hotline) they can even help you with giving you referral for divorce..this is called the wheel of power and control:1)USING INTIMIDATION-making her afraid by using looks,actions,gestures,smashing things,destroying her property,abusing pets,displaying weapons.2)USING EMTIONAL ABUSE-putting her down,making her feel bad about herself, calling her names, making her think she's crazy,playing mind games,humiliating her,making her feel quilty.3)USING ISOLATION:controlling what she does, who she sees and talks to, what she reads,where she goes, limiting her outside involvement, using jelousy to justify actions.4)Minimizing,denying, and blaming: making light of the cause and not taking her concerns about it seriously, saying the abuse didn't happen, shifting responsiblility for abusive behavior, sayin she caused it.5)USING CHILDREN: MAKING HER FEEL QUILTY ABOUT THE CHILDREN, USING THE CHLDREN TO RELAY MESSAGES, USING VISITATION TO HARASS HER, THREATENTING TO TAKE CHILDREN AWAY.6)USING MALE PRIVILEGE treating her like a servant, making all the big decisions, acting lke the "master of the castle",being the one to define men's and women's roles.7)USING ECONOMIC ABUSE:preventing her from getting or keepin a job, making her ask for money, g iving her an allowance, taking her money, not letting her know about or have access to family income.8)USING COERCION AND THREATS: making and/or carrying out threats to hurt her,threatening to leave her.....these are just a few signs of domestic violence it does not have to be physical....i have a 5 year old daughter and she love's him too...but they don't understand the way we understand...i rather be along than be in a home where i'm unhappy. i know it's hard but please know that it will get worst. i wish you all the luck...and i hope you can print this or write this and put it on the refrigerator so he can understand what he is doing ..i wish you luck ..ps..he is gong to tell you why are you on yahoo answers becuase there's women out here like me ...that's been there done that and they don't like it....take care of you and the baby ...she's happy when you are.bye...

Sweetheart, file for divorce, find a women's shelter, take your baby, and drop off the face of the Earth. She isn't safe, and you are not safe.

Plum

you need to talk to your husband, make it clear of what you want and what you're not happy. if things arent working out go get some help, profesional help maybe marraige councelling. if not then i suggest you leave him... drastic as it may sound but it might wake him up.

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