Have a wonderful wife, but have massive crush with another woman. What to do?

sunset5131

Well if you have this huge of a crush on another woman, then there must be something..even if its small...that you arent happy with in your wife.

Also if you want to stay with your wife and not ruin what you have, cut off all contact with this other woman.

If you think something might happen with this other woman, TELL YOUR WIFE ASAP. You dont want to hurt her if anything were to happen!! always talk to your wife about your feelings. never hide anything from her that if she found out later would hurt her!

johnnydel2002

Do nothing let er go and stay with your wife. I made that mistake and now my wife is gone forever

Eat your veggies!

it's just lust at this point because you know you cant have her because of certain barriers, leave room between the two of you, go out with your wife more....get this chick out of your head because your wife doesnt deserve that...

you mad a commitment, stick with it. you wouldnt want your wife with another guys would you ?

stuartnin

theres nothing wrong with fantasizes about another woman....but it needs to stop there...if you truly love your wife perhaps you should stop seeing this woman...just try to avoid bumping into her and maybe itll go away...

msthinkpositive

At least in your last statement you show that you have common sense. Nothing is right, you don't want to loose what you have over a crush that don't need to go any farther.

jessie373638

stay wit your wife cuz dat gurl you luv can just be a girl daz pretty and you shouldnt divorce your wife for another woman daz just messed up so just stick wit your wife unless you really un happy wit your wife

gypse76

sounds like a case of the grass is greener on the other side, or want what you can't have.

look at it this way, say you do go for her it's not exactly what you imagined your wife that you say is great finds out and you lose her. Now you have nothing, do you really want to risk that?

adisma98

IMHO, The attraction to the other woman is simply a lust. Forget her and get her out of your mind. In staed rekindle your love and passion with your wife.

Ande

This happens all the time. DON'T tell your wife. It's selfish and hurtful to unburden yourself for what amounts to only a passing attraction (unless, of course, you intend to act on it).

The thing you can do (and this is PROVEN to work) is to begin to admire your wife. No kidding. The more you lavish love and attention on her the more it will actually change your feelings toward her. And you say yourself how wonderful she is.

And you must cut yourself off from the other woman. It will hurt of course but you have to be a real man about this. You cannot let your emotions rule your life. Stuff like this wrecks weak people and makes a mess of the innocent and never turns out the way it feels like it will. Promise pal, next year it will be the same story with somebody new. It's all in the biology and not to be taken seriously.

See it for what it is and let it go. Return your energy to the union you made with your wife. You seem like an intelligent guy so don't blow this thing now.

Get a book called "Hot Monogamy". Might help.

lost my soul

Your just thinking with the wrong part of your body. Why ruin your marriage. It ain't broke.....is it?

Sue

You need to make a list of all the good things about your wife and consider how you will miss them if you continue on with your crush. Liking someone else is one thing, but putting your relationship on the line for a crush is shear ignorant. If you want a divorce get one, if you don't stop thinking about someone else

Awww your poor wife :-( You need to get over this other chick soon. You are mentally cheating on her. Do your best to forget her and REALLY realize that your wife is the most important thing to you. do you really want to loose her by cheating??

G&L

stop feeding the crush (mental obsession), it will die of neglect

lexiann721

Whatever you do, don't act on your impulses. I'm sure your little crush will pass; most do.

Cheryl J

well why dont you try flirting with your own wife
If all you say is true then there is no need to seek out others
if your relationship is not all it can be make it that way

bubba

what should you do? go tell your wife that you love her and stop thiking about this other person. it is wrong and not fair to your wife for thinking of someone else. what if the shoe was on the other foot and she was thinking of another man, then what?

Tommy D

how about grow up?you have a good wife? how many people really say that anymore? you are blessed, now go out and get your wife some flowers,she deserves it .you knucklehead. go to confession too!

Nothing at all. It's normal to have crushes on other people we are only human. As long as you don't act on it, you will be just fine.

reunionrowdies

Your crush is just your fantasy woman. It's natural to be attracted to other people, but it becomes unhealthy when it's obsessive or you fixate on one person. You need to put more energy into re-connecting with your wife. Try to distract yourself when your thoughts lead to this 'fantasy woman' and those feelings will fade over time.

connie b

Crushes come and go..at times they may feel so strong...almost irresistible but you have to weigh them against hurting someone you Love ...who you have shared years with...If your wife knew It might really crush her...get it.. so anyway ..we can't go around acting on every impulse we have or think of the chaos the world would be in ... there are consequences and this one would be too big ...ok...you can dream or fantasize but stop at that...

smilingtalker_au

Just avoid occassions where you can look into this woman's eyes. Chances are she has no idea about your feelings so just avoid her and imagine your life without the woman who is currently your wife. Why throw away what you know and seemily are happy to have on the off chance of something developing with someone with sweet eyes (who may well not be interested in you in any case).

Scenic Point

anytime you think of this other woman, mentally envision yourself in front of a firing squad.

see the uniforms, the guns, the grass under your feet, the wall behind you. feel the rope on your wrists which are tied around a pole behind you. see and hear the rustle of the squad taking aim, followed by a split second vision of sparks and smoke. feel your body fall limp as the hail of bullets tear through your flesh and blow you off your feet. hear yourself release one last piercing scream before falling into the eternal silence that once was your life.

thus, reminding yourself that your life as you know it could easily be over if you act upon your attraction for this other woman and then, dismiss her from your mind.

:o)

Blue Sky

I sounds to me that you are truly in love with your wife.Don't do any thing to loose her. It is human nature to want and be attracted to other people. What separates us from the wild animals is the self control not just to drop your pants and do it any where & with anyone.

Bert

If you love your wife, why would you want someone else, why not pray and ask God to give you a deeper attraction toward your wife, God hates affairs, because He hates when someone has a broken heart.....Jesus loves you

ldlivengood

IMO- a crush is a crush. We all have them. In most cases they are harmless as long as they don't really mean anything. Think long and hard before you do something stupid, though. Crushes are fine as long as they are fantasy...it's when you act on them that they become a problem. Besides that, most crushes are more fun in your imagination than in reality. You have to remember in your fantasy YOU control every aspect of a situation and create a sort of utopia. In real life, that perfect kiss you imagine may end up with a smack in the face! On top of it all, the most important question you need to ask yourself is "Is it worth losing my wife over?"

REBELLYNN

Man oh man........what a pickle. How green is that grass on the far side I can't have. Which head are you thinking with?Something is wrong if you feel this way, maybe your wife doesn't do it for you anymore. Don't be scum. Decide what your going to do, then let your wife know what your gonna do, BEFORE anything happens. By your own account, she loves you and has been there for you, she deserves that much. You need to decide or let it be, just remember there is no turning back if you cheat or tell your wife so make sure what it is you want to accomplish, like her telling you to hit the road. Fantasies of others should be left in the mind. Think about this...........If you feel this way......maybe just maybe she has a crush on someone too. hmmmmm? How do you feel?

Kettering Dog

This think of how crushed your wife would be if you reacted to your crushed and did something with this other woman. Think of the humiliation and devastation she would be subject to. Dont do it.

Kodie's World

Just ask your self is the trust of your wife, loss of respect, family, and the betrayal worth your marriage

patj773

well let me say this if you really love you wife get some help. i just went through this was married 8 years he came home one day and move in with another,she is the one thats going to go through bad times, i took it really hard , he would not talk about it just left,please get help.its been only 5 months for me and still cry when i see him with her

PutPut

I'm in a similar situation. My gal is great in every way and I would not want to risk it for the world but I met another woman who I can't seem to get out of my head. I've been thinking about her non stop and it's getting annoying. I want to think about something else. When I woke up this morning I pictured that both my gal and this other gal were asleep in the same bed as me and and we all loved each other mutually. It was a really nice fantasy. I'm a little disappointed in society for not allowing romantic bonds between groups of three or more people to be common acceptable. Just think of how successful a family would be if there was say three dads and three moms. Four or five people out working and one or two looking after the home and kids. The house would be HUGE and so would the BED. All the resources would be shared under one roof. It would change the world for the better don't you think?

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