Having trouble moving on w/ my boyfriend who wants to get married?

Lived with my boyfriend for 3 yrs. He's 28 and I'm 24. He wanted to get married last year but I was young and was unsure. I had never been on my own before and wanted to experience life. He ended up moving out against his will because he loved me but I had my mind made up.

I saw a couple of guys and realized how much I really did love my ex. Him and I started talking and we gave it another shot. He met a girl in our hiatis and talked to her almost everyday for a month. 2 weeks after us being exclusive he went to a bar and she was there. That night I found a text to her saying goodnight beautiful. I found out nothing physical happened but he was still misleading her and didn't tell her we were 100% back together.

His answers to my questions are "I used her as a resource not to dwell when you weren't around...she just made me feel good about myself, I always wanted things to work with you and things were getting better b/w us I didn't want anything from her"

He has cut off all contact with her and has been doing everything to prove to me he still wants to be with me. He wants me to move back in with him and marry me.

Is it wrong that I am still hurt over this?

Sarafina

No, it's not wrong. He essentially lied to you about not being straight with her. I wouldn't trust him either! Personally, I don't know if I could ever trust him. If he really wanted things to work with you, he would have been up front and honest with her immediately after you got back together. Instead, he continued communication for a back up plan. Not cool. You have every right to be angry.

benjamin m

Yes, you didn't want to be with him so he moved out then when you saw that the grass wasn't so green on the other side you wanted him back! You dated during your hiatus, why is it that you are hurt by him dating? Make up your mind if you want to be in an adult relationship choose battles that can be won not battles that would require time machines!

kpopp

Feeling hurt about something is understandable. But there is no wrong or right about feelings. They are just there. No matter what, when you marry someone, you are taking your chances. That's what life is all about: taking chances. You will never be certain about any relationship. But if you want more of a discussion about how relationships work, check out my source and find out about compatibility.

Laura

I can understand your feelings, but I think you are over reacting a bit. You were on a break and both seeing other people. It was wrong of him, but he was basically keeping a back up plan open. As long as you trust him that it is 100% over with her your best plan would be to let it go.

If he is the one, don't let petty stuff and young insecurities ruin a wonderful relationship/marriage.

Good Luck!

The African Queen

No, it isn't wrong that it bothers you. Just don't dwell on it or bring it up much to him & if he's trying as hard as you say, you'll both forget it before long.

Eva82

If you still feel hurt the relationship will be hurting too. You need to find a way to get over this feeling you are having so that you two can move forward with your lives. Try and avoid talking about it with him. If you find yourself thinking about what happened, start doing something to take your mind off it. In time, you will heal. Just be patient.

Honestly, it sounds to me like your ex was the one who really could have used the time to be out on his own. Instead, he managed to strike up another relationship right away with someone he claims not to have cared about because he was afraid to be alone, and now he's right back to pushing you to make a commitment.

I don't think fixating on the other girl is productive if you want to try and repair your trust, but definitely take things slow and try to sort out whether he's so eager to settle down because he wants to be married to you, or just because he wants to be married.

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