He wants a baby with me? HELP?

bubb1eguminadish

tell him you want a family and talk to him about it

Poppet

He has EVERY right to change his mind. You need to use birth control and (frankly) get out of that relationship. He is trying to decide who he wants to be with and in the process is only stringing you along.

Alrozz

You better choose more wisely who you lay down with. One day your gonna really get hurt/

TheBoredAssistant

A baby is not something you rush into. Makee sure you are BOTH ready not just one partner because it will never work out they way you want it too if hes not ready too.

heres mine:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AuANevxeNILriLnAMbdt6gDD7BR.;_ylv=3?qid=20080805093216AAZXQ8o

rschroth

You need to get out of this relationship as soon as you can.

yes, i wouldn't want to bring a kid into a relationship like that. Can you imagine you walking across the street with a baby stroller while she's in her car reving her engine? I wouldn't want to deal with that. Especially with a baby.
Although, it really does sound like you should think about kicking him to the door till he straighten this out with her. why are you putting up with it? At the end of the day its his ex-wife and his problem to fix if he wants to marry you and have a family.

Tootie

Don't worry so much about him changing his mind about the baby. He's stressed out with his ex-wife causing problems and probably doesn't even want to consider bringing a baby into the house with his ex acting like such a nut. Its more for your protection than anything. If she has taken to following you around and shouting threats to you in public, than she is probably capable of a lot more. You wouldn't want her to do something to you while you were pregnant, would you? Go back on the pill until the madness can be sorted out. Once its resolved, pick up where ya'll left off.

American Girl

If he doesn't want a child right now, you need to respect that. Not necessarily for his sake, or even your own, but for any potential child's sake.

Wait until you have a man, be it this one or another, who is truly ready & committed to being a parent. This gives your child their best chance in life.

Tryna-Hyde

No, I don't think it's fair, but I do think it's for the best. Why should you commit to such a life with someone who can't make up his mind about who he even wants to be with?

katelynn p

no i really don't think it is. Maybe he wants to get back with his ex. sorry. Good luck

Invisigoth

1. he's right. he needs to work through his issues with the ex first before he can be a good husband to anyone. you or her, however he decides to go.

2. DO NOT HAVE A CHILD WITH THIS MAN BEFORE YOU ARE HIS WIFE. Unresolved issues with the ex mean you risk being alone with his kid while he goes back to remarry the ex. YOU DO NOT WANT THAT. And if he finds that you have deliberately tricked him and got pregnant then I guarantee you will lose him even if he doesn't go back to her.

Erik P

He want his Ex back and thats why he said our issues he ment with you and him.

Keerayzee

You are going to have a very hard life.

You sound like you are talking about getting a puppy.

"Well we haven't been using protection even though I told him I was on the pill."

How DARE you treat this situation so casually!

You are not only trying to trap a man (a moron,true),
but you are using a LIVING,BREATHING,INNOCENT kid to do it for you.

I try to not judge anyone, but this is sad.

"You can still get pregnant from bein on the pill right?"-----

Your child is going to ride a short bus when he/she does get here.

Do society a favor and DO NOT PROCREATE

lilsnob8681

Yes I think that it is fair. Why would you want to have a baby with him if your relationship is stable. he is being the smart one by saying that a baby doesn't need to come right now. I think that it is totally wrong for you to just TELL him that you are on the pill. Are you on it or not? Thats why women get a bad rep b/c women like you trap their men and get pregnant by lying to their b/f or husband. That is totally wrong and if you get pregnant, he will resent you for it. You need to re-think all of your actions. Why are you having trouble with his ex-wife? Do they have kids together? If not, he needs to tell her to move on and get a life. No, you cannot get pregnant on the pill. Take it like you are supposed to.

guineapig

A relationship based on dishonesty (you lying to him about a very big issue) and then a bunch of drama (the ex is still in the picture) spells disaster and the one who will suffer most is this poor kid you are trying to conceive. Wait until that is sorted out until you get married, and then be up front with your husband about the birth control situation, and then have the baby! Give him some major space right now to figure out what is going on - it will give you some breathing space, too.

Dee M

You can change your mind and realize you aren't ready. But you need to rethink wether or not you want a child with him

Grant M

Yes its un fair. But if his excuse is what you said then he is really not in love with you as much as you think is he? Its time to move on.. I have heard his story to many times... You do not need the hastle.... Good luck Grant M in Pennsytlvania

Peanut Gallery

I agree with Tootie. It doesn't seem like the best time, the stress alone would be too much. Who knows what one person alone is capable of, add jealousy and it gets scary. He may want to clear the air with her before he takes that next step with you. I'm sure you would rather deal with this now, then with a child dealing with it. Keep the lines of communication open and you will know all that you want to know!

Red Rose

The same way he changed his mind about having a baby. You can change your mind about wanting to stay with him.

jeanette n

Sounds like he is considering his options with her. Tell him having a baby is something you really want to do and if he doesn't feel the same then maybe its time for you to try to find a new settled cammitted relationship. Maybe he also has new founded fears of relationships ending in devorse and he needs reassurense from you that you are with him to the end, but you can't be blamed for his past.

Thomas

guess what lady, what you're saying is true about him. the best thing for you to do is end the relationship, now.

when he said; " we have to work through our issues with her first before anythign". that is a huge red flag waving in your face. there is no "WE" to work out anything with his ex's. he should work everything out before he got into another relationship or being engage to another woman. that's is nothing more than BS!!! its sound like that his ex's want him back and he leaning more going back to her.

don't you have any child with this guy, believe me it will save yourself a lot of head and heartaches. its not worth it at all and don't fall for any of his pleading. call the whole thing off with him and tell him to go back to his ex's and stay with her. if you don't then, is all your fault for not ending this mess when you could.

Christine

this sounds like too much drama. get out while you can, before you have a kid with him and find it even harder to leave.

Mean Carleen

Uh HELLO..she is already his ex wife...what the hell is there to work out? I think he may be working out getting back with her. I suggest you make sure you Do NOT get pregnant because something fishy is going on.

LadyKaudrim

Ask him 'what issues'?

He needs to tell this ex to bugger off. You should be his priority. Tell him that if he wants to marry you, then he worries about you and not her. Tell him if he wants to remarry her, then he needs to get out of your life and let you move on instead of dragging you down like this.

Get the law on your side if she's causing that much of a nuisance. And if he's afraid to press charges, then either he's scared or he doesn't want to do something like that to her... uh,huh.

And the pill is pretty effective in preventing pregnancy, but if you're concerned still - tell him that he has to use condoms as a backup precaution because this ex situation isn't resolved and you're not taking chances. You shouldn't have to take a chance of being his baby's mama only to be ditched if he takes his ex back.

~Preggo with ma #2~

no is not fair at all! but trust me is better that you don't have a child yet with all this drama in your life. what would you do with a baby and with a fiance that has enough problems to deal with in a first place. you have to think about the stress that you and your fiance are going thru right now! i know you probably want to have a child! and is beautiful but you need an stable relationship and a home free of drama! take care talk to him and take your time! you won't regret it! xoxo
good luck sweetie!

I love cooking!

You should end this relationship.

Momto2inFL

Wow, a man who says to wait so he can provide you with a GOOD life with LESS drama?! I say thatâ€™s a keeper if you ask me!!

Honestly, you donâ€™t see it because youâ€™re not in the shoes of a person who is there. Heâ€™s doing you a favor!!! You DO NOT want to bring a child into the mix if his ex wife is causing you both stress due to her game playing. TRUST ME!

My husband has a child with his ex and sometimes the fighting is unreal. When I had my son (not planned) with my husband, I vowed to KEEP OUT because I didnâ€™t want my son being raised around the stupid drama of the ex. And I do my very best to keep him out. However, my husband and I often fight because heâ€™ll be stressed or heâ€™ll have just had a blow out with herâ€¦.pick something.

Heâ€™s doing you a favor in straightening up his â€œotherâ€ life before starting one with youâ€¦..

** ADD **

But you my dear, you're playing with fire. You should be ashamed of yourself!!

Alicia

You probably think he is the love of your life and I feel your pain, but you need to move on!!! Why do you want to be his second choice???

Mac

I dont know why he would have issues with his ex, she is his ex wife, unless they have a child between the two of them, I wouldnt see why there are issues with his ex... confusing. To me it sounds like they are trying to make things work between him and his ex. I would sit him down and talk to him. Ask him what is the issue he is trying to resolve with his ex wife? Does he still have feelings with his ex wife and if he does, I would say leave him. Its not worth wasting your time on someone who won't be honest with you and is that selfish.

He doesnt seem to know what he wants and I would just ask him straight out... thats the best way to find out what is going on. Nothing worse than thinking the worst when it was something small.

Good luck.

danthemaninhtown

You need to run as fast as you can. I'm a guy and i'm telling you you're staring down the abyss, turn around and walk away. No guy who cares about you will do that to you.

There's nothing wrong with him changing his mind. There's A LOT wrong with you lying to him about being on the pill and intentionally trying to get pregnant when he's made it clear that he doesn't want a child with you at the moment.

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