Help: I'm very depressed my husband abandoned my house?

riettebotha2

Just move on with your life, if he is sleeping with someone else he does not deserve you. Good luck!! Try to get out some friends or family!

heymrdj1

Not sure what to say cause I am in the same situation. My wife of 13 years is currently having another realtionship with a married man, and alot of times..I wanted to just get up and leave cause it's depressing just being here......but, we are supposed to divorce eventually...whenever we get the money, but for now...I'm stuck here. So...instead of being depressed, maybe find a light at the end of the tunnel, and start new......pick up the pieces and move on....I mean, after all, it's his loss right? There is someone much deserving of you, so....take time for yourself and good luck through it all.

Maureen B

Get a divorce and move on he obviously is immature and he does not love you..You are better off without him..

karenhar

Dear, this is not nor ever was a "good man," to do this to you! If he truly loved you, he wouldn't leave. Men only leave a woman with a baby if they don't want the responsibility, and they don't really know what love is! Sounds like he does have another woman, and you should let him go for your own sake!
(Been there and done that).

Mr Blues

It sounds like he may have been planning this for a while ?, and with him getting all his stuff so quickly and refusing to talk might mean he was scared to face you or any questions you might have ?.

If he's done this to you then he is obviously not a good man, and you should try if you can to forget him, and for now concentrate on your beautiful baby and yourself.

try surrounding yourself with family and friends and in time things will get better !.

All the best !!.

night p

if you think another lady is involved I suggest getting a divorce. Once a cheater always a cheater-and remember if he just picked everything up and moved intogether with a woman, they knew each other long before that date

as for the other I would pursue child support from him, his mom may be helping out but its not her responsiblity really. I suggest you get the divorce and get everything straightened out with yourself aka dont be an emotional wreck-give yourself some grieving time because yes it does
hurt when you feel abandoned esp by someone you trusted

after that go for it-and remember DON"T LET HIM COME BACK

Just_gone

He left YOU, you must realize that, as unpleasant as it is. He was not enough of a man to stay and work it out.
You have to work somehow, or get relief and WIC, and get child support. Don't worry about his mother - she will side with him. Take care of you and your baby. Find support groups and go. Contact local churches for help.
Do NOT wait for him to return, sitting in a gloomy house. Call someone and get them to stay with you a while. Now.
Cry, but make moves, it is you and the baby now, and I am sorry, but it happened.
You are NOT a bad person. HE is.
Take care of yourself and your baby.

Marissa Di

You could find from his mom where he is, and how to expect to support you and your child, now he is gone.
She knows he is going through something, and is helping you the best she can. I don't think she can talk to him much either, except he may tell her his preferences.
You may want a lawyer, if he has a lawyer or his mom does, see if they can work something out for you and your child. I would worry about supporting myself and the baby. Either rent some of the house, with his mom's permission, or see how you can raise money for the two of you.

freeman3905@sbcglobal.net

sure looks like hes sleeping with someone. looks like your going to have to take it to court. and when you do. he may wake up. and if he don't you have to make a life for you son and your self.its going to be hard. but you and your son have to do it. start out your new life and good luck to you both

matty

I feel very sorry for you. But he does seem to be a bad man to abandon his wife and baby and with no support... not good. I think you are well rid of him. I'm sorry it doesn't help your pain or situation. I can only wish you good luck.

iyamacog

If he does not wish to be with you and your baby by leaving the home, there isnt much you can do. Please be strong for you and your baby. Seek the advise of an attny so that you acquire some financial support, from your husband, for your child.

yahoobloo

If this marriage is over - and it sounds like it is - he has to pay for his child`s keep. Liking his mother is no good reason why tax payers should keep his child ! You need to talk to him and get some straight answers from him asap !

c0nfusEd_g

if that's your husband's behavior....then i think he's really sleeping with another woman as what you've said.....
i don't know your real situation but all i can advice to you is that you need to priorities your baby and analyze if you really need to leave your husband for good...because if he's acting like that,and still stick with him, then you'll only have a more difficult situation....and it can also affect your child soon....so while it's early,better sort out things immediately.....

hope my answer helps.....

Wax Crayon

It sounds like you're in a tough position.

If you need (financial) child support from him, be ready to pursue it.

Speak to your GP about your depression.

Try to surround yourself with friends and family as a support network, and try to clear the misunderstanding with his mother.

oops ok!

really sorry to hear your in this situation, your going to have to be strong even if you don't want to, keep busy,friends, taking the children out, discovering new things on the Internet etc

go see a counselor as well an advice about a divorce to move on and stop thinking about him, if you do sometimes-make sure its only negative stuff.

even if he is with another doesn't change the sit ur in, be strong.

Claire W

He will be back - the question is would you want him back? It's his loss not yours - you have a lovely little baby to care for now, maybe he is trying to adjust to the situation -men do not always handle the sudden responsibility the right way, maybe he is scared and a little jealous of the baby.

God bless you....and your little one. x

DEBBIE G

He owes you an explanation. He will eventually calm down and come around to talk to you. As hard as it may be --- move on with your life. Do the best you can for you and your baby. If he is sleeping with someone else ---can you forgive him? Do you really want him back? Plan ahead.

Peanut

Darlin' Nancy,

How can you "just go out and leave him" when he has already left you? What you must do now is find an attorney and file for a divorce. You must have child support. You must have alimony until you can get yourself ready to find and keep a job. Go back to school and give yourself wider options than a secretarial position. Don't forget that his leaving left the door open for YOU.

Don't sit there, girl, get busy... life is not going to wait. Keep your chin up, don't waste time feeling sorry for yourself, it won't get you where you want to be. Smile, look for things to help you smile, pray without ceasing and love your baby. You have much to do, and it CAN be fun. Blessings to you, sweetie!!

flyingdove

what the hell kind of sick game is this "man" playing with you? (I placed quote marks around the word man, as he certainly isn't acting like one, more like a spoiled bratty baby)
I hate relationship games and sick of people that play them too.
Honey screw him and if he wants to act like a big dumb *** baby, divorce his rear and get all you can get out of him, then take care of yourself and your baby. It sounds to me he isn't worth the toilet paper you wipe your rear with!
Good luck and God bless YOU and your baby.

lily

Wow, I never thought a Mexican would treat his wife like this! Thank goodness you are married, so you at least have the law on your side. Keep tight with his mom (heck I would even move in with her) Don't you have any big brothers that could go knock his socks off?

Johnson O

I am so sorry for the situation you find yourself in, to be sincere he's seeing another lady but do not let that hurt you.
Try to concentrate on taking care of your kid(s) and in respect of his mum i believe she's been bought over remember the only joy a woman has is her child. Please take good care of them

oldcorps1947

Sounds like the marriage is over, it takes two to make a marriage.
It is time to consult a divorce lawyer, make plans for you and the baby's life without him. Request the court to order separate maintenance until the divorce is final.
It would be wise also, to get your name off of all joint checking accounts(take money out for you and the child).
It is wise to make a plan on how you will met bills. Hey, you may need to a smaller place which you can afford.
For the depression, consider seeking help of a physician, you may need to be on anti-depressive meds for a while.

kosslyn

Wow. First of all you married a complete W*n*er! usually I try to look at the other persons perspective, but I really don't care what his reasons are, because they couldn't possibly make up for what he is doing to you, and you kid(s).
There is no easy way to get over him or the life you had planned with each other, but you have to.
I hope your a strong woman with self respect, because this guy sounds like he might be back, I hope you show him the door.... with a back handed slap.
Good luck

Daniel H

I did know a woman who continued her relationship with her daughter-in-law and abandoned her son when they split. Your mother-in-law has ties to her grandchild. You may want to investigate if she would be willing to continue that relationship after the divorce is final.

The biggest cause of divorce is that the wrong people got married to each other in the first place.

In the meantime, ask around for the meanest, toughest divorce lawyer that you can find. You can negotiate the fee.

Fatima S

wake up and smell the roses girl. You have your child to think and your life to take care. Move forward and get ready because one day soon, he will regred it all and try to return. However, bythat time YOU SHALL BE A DIFFERENT PERSON.

Felix

I will take you at your word when you say,
" I think he got upset because we couldn't go out because I was concentration on the baby."
When you have a baby you have to be both a MOTHER and a WIFE.

Was your husband getting affection and attention from you when you were pregnant? Was your husband getting affection and attention from you AFTER the baby was born?

If the answer to these questions is NO. Then to him you were rejecting him. Each rejection hurt him and gave him pain. He bottled up that pain and he let it explode into a rage to find a woman that would give him affection... He probably still loves you but your rejections have hurt him too much for him to make amends. Women need to realize that MOST men are VERY PRIMITIVE in their emotions. A typical 100lb woman can turn a 300lb muscle man into a basket case in the realm of emotions. Men are cavemen. You have to be very observant when they go into their emotional cave. And draw them out gently. He PROBABLY is with another woman.....and if you were not being a wife to him...then I don't blame him....

The foundation of the family is the husband and wife.
Kids are of SECOND importance! If you were failing to be a WIFE, then I sympathize with your husband. He needed a woman's touch that he was not getting from you. Your husband is at fault NOT for being MORE DEMANDING with his needs. Instead he took the passive-aggro route. You deserve child support.....if you are getting it from his mother then that is fine. If she stops paying, then hubby needs to pay up.

good tree

Hi, I'm sorry about your situation. It's hard to do but you need to be around people who will make you feel good about yourself. Force yourself to go to a mother/baby group, invite your close friends over, you must keep contact with other people. If you really feel you have nobody, try going to your local church, if it's a good one (lively) you will be made very welcome and make new friends. Don't sit around waiting for his next move. If you still love him, and he wants to come back, I can only say forgive him but seek counselling together. I hope you find peace.

tattylashes

he didn't just abandon your house, he abandoned you and your child...that says something about what kind of man he is....he said he's fed up....that's complete bull... he wanted a good excuse to bail out and is placing the blame on you for them reasons, if you feel that he's with another woman then your probably right, but what ever he's doing....he's blaming you for the way he feels, when all along he was planning his bail out, he has not supported you, he has not been near you, he has not explained himself to you.... what kind of man does that to his family? also he has the audacity to tell you that he does not want a divorce, so what does he expect you to do?...your depressed, your alone, you have no support, i don't think he has an inkling about what damage he's doing to you....honey, i think you should get them papers drawn up because this man does not deserve you....no decent man would just walk out on his family and leave them in the lurch like that, get onto the CSA and get what he owes your child, then see a doctor about your depression, your child needs you so you have to stay strong...i am really sorry that this has happened to you and i hope that you can find peace of mind....bless you....x

by the way, his mum knows him best of all and i don't think she is going to take his side....she will know if he is lying, it is lovely of her to send you money, but it's not her responsibility...it should be your husband providing for you, not her.....take care...x

alec.

,till you have a baby he loves and after he doesn;t,these people are not worth living.cowards.

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