Help Please...?

shae

You really need to take some time away from him so he can appreciate what he has.Give him the opportunity to realize if he doesnt change his behavior then your not coming home. If it means starting from the bottom then so be it. At least you know you and your children will be in a safe environment. You definitely don't want to raise your children thinking that type of behavior is acceptable. You deserve better and so do your children. Good luck!

Diamond in the Rough

Girl get a grip, and grow some temp balls....a woman can be just a intimidating as a male, just ask a black male..LOL

not_prfikt

Hon, nobody should have to endure that kind of abuse. My dad was like that to my mom. I witnessed him being physically and verbally abusive to my mom. She got a lawyer and then a divorce. I know it was a difficult decision for her because there were 5 kids in the house. She ended up with the house, child support and alimony from my dad. There is alot of help out there for women in your situation. Do not let him threaten you with the line that it is "his money". He married you and swore to support you and the kids. The court will back you and the kids. So my advice to you would be to go and get a divorce lawyer ASAP. If not for yourself, do it for the children. They do not need to witness you being abused as I did.It is traumatic and I still have nightmares sometimes... I am 43 years old and this was over 30 years ago. Good luck to you and your children.

In addition, as someone else mentioned, get a restraining order filed against him as well as a protection from abuse order. Let the authorities know what he has/is doing to you. Provide evidence. Be strong- do not let him intimidate you.

ryladie99

Help is on the way.I can see the problem very clear .You are living on one income and it is very hard to manage.You also have 2 kids and I remember raising kids about that ages are very difficult to handle.You are newly mom.I hear you and I feel your pain.I have been in these situation before and the house will be mess and the dinner will never be on time because,the work from your two little kids are plenty.My husband told me not to bother with food or housework but,our children first.He wants the kids who are healthy and happy more than the kids can not run around and be free.The word no is never in my vocabulary and always you can do anythings.
Now,you are dealing with your man who never has to raise 2 small kids and be at home all day long.He is tired and unhappy with the untidy home and no home cooking meal.So I urge you serve him quality frozen food that you can bake from the oven and just put time a side and see if it is helping you.You need to sit and talk with him when you both are not mad at each other.The verbal sometimes will happen when one partner is very hungry and demand when everything will be on time.He forgets about a thousand things that you are doing at home.So talk and talk and cool it down before things go out of hand and do not get emotion and take it personal because, you both just start a family and thing will not in place and it takes more practice before you get better.
The budget you have to give him the numbers and list how much he gives you and how much your bills.Make sure he sees where money goes?He needs to see how much he spends and you need proof otherwise you can not nail him down.
He is the man who holds momey and you have to compromise and make him sees.
If you can not deal with him I urge you to send your kids to the day care and you go to work,let see what is going to happen?
The moving out is not the answer to solve your marriage problem and try harder to compromise.Prepare to get a job or go
back to school on line or go to school at night and let him watching the two angels for a change.
Well do one thing at a time and do not give up the family yet.Kids who the parents divorce always have so many problems and it is very painful to see them grow up.I am sure you can put a fight back and teach your man a lesson.Good luck think more and have a vision before you walk away from the people you love and cherish.

Jeanne

You need to take the kids and go to your mom's now. Get a job, get the kids into daycare. There are may agencies that can help you pay for it, until you are on your feet. If you can't afford a lawyer right now, contact your local township office and find out if they have help for battered woman. They may be able to get you a lawyer for free, file for divorce and you'll get child support no doubt about it. Be strong,you have the rest of your life ahead of you. Good luck and best wishes.

Rezxian

get a lawyer NOW

wildspirit1313

he wants a slave not a wife.. leave. take ur children an go to ur moms and file for divorce. how du u expect to make him relize? if he doesnt relize that its not ok to abuse u he isnt going to listen to anything u have to say. go to ur moms, so u may have to get a job and support urself and ur kids nothing wrong with that. du u understand what this is duing to ur kids, they will remember this...when u get out of this you can rebuild a life with ur children and b astrong independent women.. trust me its agreat feeling

julianna76301

It's called get a job, get some self esteem, and get the hell out. I have to tell you that having no money is NOT and excuse to keep enabling this man to abuse you. There are many different resources available out there for you. It won't be easy to leave, but I think it would be easier than staying where you are. What about your children? Do you think your doing them a favor by keeping them in an environment that promotes abuse? I know they are still very young, but I promise you it affects them, immensely. I know advice from a total stranger is not going to make you choose to get out of a terrible situation, but I want you to take a good, long look at your children and ask yourself if they are worth a better life?

johnman142

you are young with 2 children and no money a perfect catch men will be knocking each other over to marry you. getting a divorce will be worse than you have now. try to work it out.

boooobi

i think you should get a job get the gov to help you pay for daycare or put a ad in the paper to do daycare in your home so you won't have a daycare bill for your kids they can be home with you definitly hide how much you make if you get a job outside get direct deposit and tell him you always forget your paystubs at work if you do daycare tell him you charge less than you do try to put 50 to a hundred away a week or whatever you can if you think he'll look at bank statements have a second accont set up for direct deposit to for only a certain percent of your check anyways wait for him to do something get a free restraining order through batter women group in your area or just save up enough to go to your moms but make sure you have enough it's hard to go back home with kids you won't want to be there long trust me anyways Godbless you you'll make it trust me your doing the rite thing your kids don't need to see violence it's better for them to have no example than a bad one that will only mess them up later plus there will be alot more peace.

migamw

Ive been where you are.You don't need to be dependant upon him.That is what he thinks.That you can't live without him.There are probably programs in your area to help you leave and help you after you leave.He is teaching your children how they will be when they grow up.Do you want that?Make his a*s pay child support and alimony.If you think you will have problems with him get a restraining order first.You can do it,because most likely he won't go to counseling even if you agree to go with him.He may straighten up when he sees you are leaving and are serious

dynabody

Get out and get a job and support yourself and your children!!! If you don't want to be abuse any longer then you will have to get away from him and make a home for you and the children. You are the only one that can change your situation and he is the only one who can change his behavior but he is not going to do that as long as you let him. I would recommend some counseling but to be seperated during this due to the abusive situation. What are you going to do when he starts doing this to the children and he will. IF you don't stop it now, it will get worse and could start being physical. Good luck and take your life in your own hands and make it work. There is help out there for you, just ask.

ilse72

This situation will only get worse. He is an abuser and a controller. You need to get out NOW! Go to your mom. File for divorce. YOu will make it because he will have to pay child support. Hopefully, you have people who can verify the abuse as that will assure you custody of the kids. And, you get the kids, you get child support. That money will help you to take care of the kids. If he has never let you work, you can also get alimony which will help you support yourself.

Good luck!

LatinaYankeeFan1113

Thats a good idea. I think its time for you to leave, you deserve better than that.

diasia9622

A good book to read is: Too Bad to Stay, Too Good to Leave. It will help you make your own right decision.

Gene

Child Support.

rainchaser77

Don't tell him you're getting ready to leave--just pack up your kids and leave. Go to your mother's and don't look back. If you want, since you handle all the bills, start saving some money out for yourself (you really should have been doing this all along. Just ask any old-fashioned SAHM. It's called mad money--to leave when you're mad), but you should really just leave now. It's not "his" money. You're married, and even though you don't have an outside job, you do work. Half of everything is yours legally. You need to get out of there, and your kids need to get out of there. Even if he hasn't physically abused your kids yet, he will. And his physical and mental abuse of you hurts them--you're their mother and they love you, so it hurts them to see you hurt.

Worst of all, if you stay, you're teaching your daughters that it's ok to let someone treat them that way, and your sons that it's ok to treat their future wives that way. Kids learn by example, and that's the one that's being set for them right now.

â™¥Luckyâ™¥

Life is too short to live like that. Realize that you can't change him. Leave him and make sure you get child support from him. The good news is, you're still young enough to meet new people quite easily. Get yourself and your children out of that situation before there is permanent damage, start over, and when you are ready, find yourself a better man.

~~~NEVER FORGET 11,SEPT. 2001~~~

leave hun if not for you for your kids it will only get worse if you dont

arlgdman64

you should leave him, no woman deserves to be trated that way nor do your children need to be in that type of environment.
Contact an attorney A.S.A.P., your ex will be paying you to live & survive..

slinky

oh my you sound like me 4 yrs ago.. i was an at home mom with two kids. and went through the same thing. I didn't have a penny to my name and I didn't know where I would go, but it all worked out. go to your moms...you should never stay in that type of relationship.. it will seem hard at first but once you go you will begin to heal.. call well-fare and get some help they will help you with food and housing..or you can go to a battered woman's shelter.. in most states they will help you get on your feet...find you a job..place to live..there are always options but you have to come to the realization that stay with him isn't an option...Leave for your kids. It is so bad for them to see this go on..you don want them to grow up and think that it's ok to treat there spouse that way. or be treated that way....He tells you the money is his but he is wrong as long as your married it's 50 percent yours. Go empty the checking account he can't do a thing about it. Good Luck

paco

simple hire a private investigator and keep good records

Kat

Just pack up your things and leave. Go stay with a trusting relative, find a good lawyer, and like everyone else has been saying, "nobody deserves to be treated like this."

Squeaky

First you need to make sure you and the kids are safe, then worry about the money. I watched my mom go through that and now her youngest is 17 and she still has to stay home and watch my brothers kids or she gets "in trouble"
I don't know how many times I watched him hit, punch, throw and hurt my mom, not to mention the horrible verbal abuse.....If he won't change then you NEED to get out of there SOON. I would not wish for any child to have to see those things and if he doesn't quit then things will most likely become progressively worse..It will be really hard for awhile but get out of there!

ronjesszla

Get out of that relationship! It sounds pretty bad. The problems may seem overwhelming upon first liberating yourself and your kids but things will work out if you set your mind to it.

DonaldsGurl

Baby girl you have to leave NOW RIGHT NOW get the kids and leave. You think it hurts that he hurts you, what if he hurts one of the kids. Go to your moms, and then from there call the police and get a restraining order against him for you. Then take him to court for divorce and for custody. See if your family could help you with the kids while you get a job. It's gonna be hard but it's something you have to do.

jeff_is_sexy

Leave his ***!

cambest25

think of your child. you still have long bright future. have a talk with elders. ask for their support and comments. there must be a factor of your husband's temper. if you cant have a talk with your husband, and still your husband abusing you, then i think the upper department must involved. like maybe you should report this to police or any other organization. please take a very good care of yourself and your child. may god bless you n your family.

utookmyusername2001

Leave his @$$ girl! Nobody should put up w/ that. I pressed domestic violence charges and got a restraining order against my ex.

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