Help, i have real anger issues?

Aroo

Use military counseling services. They will guide you to a solution for this exact issue. This is a fairly common problem in which others have been helped. Stay strong! Simper Fie!

sparrowszealot

no offense but being in the military i'm sure hasn't helped you cos it sure didn't help me, it made me a very angry bitter person, but on the bright side the military does offer help for free so i'm sure there is someone you can talk to to help resolve your problem

NEILISA

counselling could help.. good luck

Allora

Go to counseling.

You and your wife together.
First marriage counseling, then maybe anger counseling.

One step at a time.
Talk to your wife, ask her opinion.

The One That Got Away

Yeah... take advantage of the free counseling... and do it NOW so your wife know's you are making an effort. Its very common in the military to turn into A-Holes. My husband does every time he goes on deployment.

â˜…Greedâ˜…

You need to talk with a therapist to help you learn how to control your emotions better.

Even if you never hurt anyone, the stress will harm your health.

Grack

Sounds like someone is misunderstood
You should Go outside do some hobbies you can release your anger with.
You might lose everything that you ever loves just becasue you couldnt control it :(

James S

see a psychiatrist and try meditation.

dreamer

anger management?

grneyedgrly

I commend you for coming forward and admitting you have a problem. If I were you I would get some kind of anger management help. They have a lot of places that offer that kind of help. Don't let your temper ruin your marriage more than it already has. It's also affecting your kids and believe me, hot tempers can get you into a lot of trouble. If your wife were to leave you, she can tell the judge or her attorney that you have a bad temper, thus putting you in a TERRIBLE spot with visitation with the kids. So please, get help before it gets worse. At least this way, if she still chooses to leave you, you have proof you are getting help. It's all about Covering Your As.s.

mosaic

Only a counselor and anger management classes would help you.

RockStar

My dad is this way to and trust me it is REALLY hard on the kids. If your wife decides to stay with you and take it your children with suffer mentally and end up really screwed up if they arent head strong. but it seems your wife has the motive to leave so why would you want to give up your marriage and your children because of anger. Whenever you feel mad try counting to 10 calmly and slowly. leave the room and collect yourself before talking...and do talk DONT yell for no reason. if you cant overcome this on your own may I suggest an anger management course?

pebbles is magically delicious!

Talk to a professional. The Marine Corps should have a counselor u can speak with. U need to learn to walk away and do something else before blowing up. Ur wife may need to go with u to see a counselor so she can spot when ur about to have a meltdown. Good luck.

SexyChocolate

Maybe you should talk with a counselor?

Ron T

get help (councelor, shrink)
punch pillows
talk to friends
breathing exercises (put your left hand on your stomach, your right on your chest, and breath so that your stomach moves)
Muzik (whatever captures your attention most.
yoga?

this is the first step, reason to change.

Entwined

I know it might be hard, but maybe seeing an anger management specialist might help. The fact that you aren't violent and that you are aware of the problem is a great bonus. I'd imagine your working life is quite highly stressed, and this could be a partial cause.

It's not uncommon in men and I'm sure you'll be able to solve the issue provided you take the right course of action. Talk to your doctor and they might be able to make some suggestions on what to do.

volleygirl955

Try to get help like with a consular or a doctor. When you are mad try to count to 10, it sounds REALLY stupid but it works. Please don't put your anger out on other people including your wife and children.

Kelly C

Call your community mental health group..they should be offering services in that category.
You can also ask your doctor, or work..sometimes they know of something.

It's great that you are aware of your problem and want to get help.

Good luck...

Terri J

Anyone who had as much on their plate as you do at such a young age would have some difficulty. But you have two kids, and you have to make it work for them.

You must get counselling for this problem IMMEDIATELY. In the meantime, any time you feel yourself getting angry, leave. Tell your wife ahead of time that you will be doing this for her protection, and not to get back at her. Then get that counselling for the sake of your children.

Good luck.

Blue Foots Eve

Well, I guess the first thing that comes to mind is: Why are you angry? What is it that really sets you off? And, are you able to count to 20 before "letting it rip" and think about whether or not the battle is worth it.

Does it matter if the house is perfect? Does it matter if you take turns dealing with the kids? I mean, these are issues that could be resolved by talking.. and perhaps you and your wife could work out a time where each of you gets your own personal space without interruption each evening. Maybe an hour for each of you to chill out? Create your own space? Find a hobby that relaxes you? Once a week go bowling? Read a book?

I don't know.. but whatever it is you are angry about, it's not worth losing your family over.

Chaquita

You need to identify what is making you so angry. What everyday problems are you magnifying into extreme anger? You need to take a step back and evaluate the situation. Are you over reacting over something small. Think about the impact you are putting on your children and your wife.

psuns

I think it's great that you at least recognize you have anger issues. That's a wonderful first step. My ex-husband had severe anger problems too, which is why we're not together anymore, so I can certainly understand your wifes feelings on this matter.
While it's ok and healthy to get angry, it's not ok to scare your family. Fear instills more fear, and we, as humans try to get away from the fear.
It's also ok to seek anger management therapy. It's a great option out there and think of all the things you're be saving. Your health, your marriage, your family.
Good Luck to you and yours!!!!

crazygranny72

Go to anger management. It will help! Then maybe as others suggested marriage couseling.

SMILEY

My sisters bf is like that he has some anger problems
i suggest go see a specialist on your problem get help so you can go back to your family happy

Good for you soldier-A real man will seek the answers until he finds them and he will make the changes necessary to make his home one that his wife and children and anyone who steps foot into-feel safe.
By your side, has to be the safest place on earth for your family to be. How good are you at being loving towards your wife and kids? How can you help them to feel safe? Learn what your anger is about and let it go. Anger comes from fear-pain, frustration, anything really if one is prone to anger but read on.

I promise, as you do not feel safe right now as they, it can change immediately-if you say so. This requires knowing you donâ€™t have all the answers and your not supposed to yet.

Now follow me on this my brother, our own minds, based on our past, tend to drive us today. Sometimes when that happens we end up on a track we want no part of, so we have to switch tracks at the station, so to speak. Today is a station for you, if you so choose, to switch tracks.

Ok, so you were raised by your (fill in the blank) and you went to school and had friends (again, fill in the blank) and you grew up believing in certain things like.
Race, politics, religion, how to treat people verbally and physically what your limits are in life in any given area. We begin to set filters on our view of the world and every single person in it, and the older we get, the more filters we put into place. Example: You looked into the mirror probably this morning and either spent a great deal of time thinking about (fill in the blank) and talking to you about yourself. One day a stud, next day piece of dung. It is called your "conversation"-we all have it and we can learn to ignore the stupid things we make up about ourselves, anyone, and anything.

I tend to think my gal is critical of me in her mind but she is not. I hear "you idiot hurry up and fix itâ€, or anything negative. When in fact she is thinking how great it is I can do repairs like that-I had to ask one day and realized my conversation was dead wrong.
So we all have those conversations going on in our heads-every moment of every day. We have to work at changing our negative internal conversations, as that is what impacts our way of being physically -More on that later-

Think of how many fights you have had-I mean fighting another guy along the way, or fights you have witnessed where guys make up crap in their minds about each other-which is always negative. And so they go to blows.

So you have been hurt in your life by (long list here) you feel guilty for lying, possibly killing, cheating or not cheating, being a bad parent/spouse-anything. Make a list if you like and then agree to forgive self and all others, make yourself right with God (however that looks for you) and let it all go. And if you have to let it all go several times a day-say up to 490 times thatâ€™s ok.

Change your behaviors that are not working like:
Not spending quality time interacting with your children and your wife.
Working too much or not enough-
Alcohol or drugs-video games-anything that takes you away from the reality of your family-be done with it.
Affairs of any kind with anyone/anything.
Did I mention to forgive yourself and others as you are forgiven?
Any hate you have held for anyone/group/institution is best left along the road too. To forgive is not to condone but rather to create freedom for all.

So you find yourself at a point of change, that you may not like, and your anger has brought you here.

Anger is an external response to that internal conversation in your head-Let it out and let it go, as it serves no one and is probably not at all true.

Now think about the last couple of times you got angry and what was going on inside your head. Was your wife/kids doing or saying something you did not like or not doing as you wanted? What was the conversation in your head that pulled the trigger on your anger issues? These are questions for you to answer to yourself-and to your wife.
Your young-a fighting machine-with testosterone and being hubby and daddy is not the same as being in the field with the guys.

I will not pretend to know what itâ€™s like to being you and I do know what it is like to be human and be married and ruin several relationships along the way based on listening to my conversations. Today as a result of learning about the BS conversation in my head and that I make up my own perception of everything I experience in this world and that I no longer have to drive down my track staring and behaving like what I see in the rearview mirror but rather I look out the windscreen and I see whatever I choose to create. My relationship is without arguments or fights because at my side is the safest place on the earth for her to be and I know how to respect her way of thinking as she is much kinder than me and I always learn from her.
I am the tough guy and she is the sweet girl and we allow each other to not agree.

Write down the kind of person you want to be right now and decide to be it.
Get immediate counseling for your anger and anything else you require.
Ask your wife to go also and go together and apart.
Find someone with a successful marriage and talk with them.
Your employer offers quality counseling, now step to it.
Pray if you serve a God and seek solutions to your problems pronto.

You can always be angry-angry is easy as it is always justified at the moment.
That is your conversation; it does not work-learn to ignore it and choose to speak about what is bugging you at the moment-so it never has to escalate. Work with a professional and have a wonderful life.

robert h

YOU SHOULD CONSULT A DOCTOR. REMEMBER MOST PEOPLE THINK IT MAY BE A MENTAL PROBLEM. AT TIMES IT MAY BE. SOMETIMES AN UNKNOWN PHYSICAL PROBLEM MAY BRING SOMETHING LIKE THIS ON. OFTEN PEOPLE THINK THERE IS A SOCIAL STIGMA ATTACHED WITH MENTAL PROBLEMS AND THERE UNFORTUNATELY IS. WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT WE ARE NOTHING BUT ELECT RICO CHEMICAL MACHINES AND THE BRAIN IS REALLY JUST ANOTHER ORGAN LIKE THE HEART OR LUNGS. HAVE YOURSELF CHECKED OUT. BEST OF LUCK BOB

kttphoenix

The counseling is a great idea- also examine your life top to bottom- your career in the corps, your family, friends, faith eberything to see where the issues may be coming from. Doign this with a counselor and on y9our own woudl be beneficial. Thank you for your service to the country, and God bless you through this.

think about that~

Most of these answers are pretty good... Obviously therapy and everything can help. Just the fact that you recognize your anger is causing problems in your family is a great start.

Can you distinguish WHAT it is that is making you angry? Are there certain things that trigger it? If you can find the things that trigger the anger you can see if you can avoid that type of situation, or find a way to deal with it better.

Remember that YOU are the one that makes the decision with you.. So if YOU are angry YOU choose to be angry. Nobody can make you angry... it is an emotion and you choose to feel that way. Same as no one can MAKE you be happy, sad, depressed... these are all feelings that you choose for yourself.

With that in mind... Kudo's to you for searching for help. I hope you find what you are looking for. Good Luck!

lulusbuggy

Your gonna need to get the help of a professional to help you learn why and how not to. Doesn't the Marine Corp offer such services to their servicemen? If you're not willing to invest in your future, don't expect your wife and children to do it. It will only be a matter of time before the stuff hits the fan.

Leizl

You need psychological help. Try counseling or an anger management class. If you find yourself being angry you need to take a time out and go for a walk before you blow. Take time to calm down and dont come back until you are ready to deal with the problems calmly and maturely. It's your choice to be angry about something.
You need to ask yourself, what is it that makes me so angry? Why do I need to be mean and blow up and make everyone miserable with my anger? What does being angry solve? Does it make the situation better or worse? Sometimes you just have to get a grip on yourself and relax and let things slide. Don't sweat the small stuff. Decide to be a real man and don't get angry about things, instead find real solutions to problems and implement them. Think of what you are teaching your children by showing them that it's ok to lash out in anger.

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