Help on Cutody issue!!?
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Help on Cutody issue!!?
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Hopefully someone has some experience and can help me out:
Here are the details:
I am the father on birth certifiate
Me and the mother are unmarried/Live together
child is 3
State: PA
Ok so here goes:
On sat we had quite the argument, started over breakfast because my girlfriend was telling our daughter to shut the f*ck up and to quit being a brat. This fight escalated quite a bit, in the morning she damaged quite a few of my things, (around $1000 value) there was quite a bit of name calling and I was hit repeatedly (took pictures) I did not hit back but held her off forcefully, leaving some marks. She yelled to me and my daughter to get the f*ck out of her face, and emphasized both of us. Decided best bet was to get out of the house for awhile, left for about four hours with daughter to go to the lake, and then returned. Neither of us really were calmed down at that point. The arguing ensued while my daughter napped, more of my things were destroyed. I tried my hardest to only fend her off, but it continued to a point that I could not fend her off anymore so I took out my phone and tried to call the police. She didnt like that idea, a wrestling match ensued and my phone was broken, also, she didnt like that I was trying to document this with a digital camera so I had proof, and that was destroyed also (I do have the sim card for the phone and the camera with the proof on it). Somewhere in the mess of that, she tried to cut up all my work clothes with scissors so I would be screwed %100. I managed to fight her off but was threatened with a stabbing via the scissors. So at that point she decided she was leaving, but she ran to the kitchen and got my bank card and left. I had an old alternate phone, first I called the bank to shut off the debit card (she was able to withdraw money though), then I called 911. Filed police report, decided (yes I know that Im stupid) not to press charges for simple assault and was told that I could get a protective order on monday from the magistrate. Had a wonderful sunny happy sunday with my daughter. Then on monday walked downtown to see family court, I ended up their too late to see the judge (court dates go to 10 am...it was a long walk). Then my gf's mom called and begged that I not get a protective order or press charges...and convinced her daughter to answer a call from me. She was still irrate and off the handle because I had called the police, I told her not to come over, or I would call the police. Got home, she was waiting on the step and called the police on her own. And you guessed it, police had no ground for anything, this is both of our house and they could only intervine if something got out of hand again.
So here is what I need an answer on, where do I go from here? I am stuck in this house with her, police said that neither of us can leave with daughter, she needs to stay in this house. All the bills are in my name, she doesnt have any money left for rent after being at her friends house all weekend. I dont really want to screw her over, I would like to get primary cutody and have my GF out of the house....any help would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks!
Additional Details
FYI - In PA both parents have equal custody when none is established by the court
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KitKat
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Lawyer. I don't understand why the police told you that neither of you can leave with your daughter. There is no custody arrangement, both of you have every right to your daughter. You need to see an attorney like yesterday. |
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Cham
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In PA, both parents do not have equal custody until paternity has been established, and even then, you still don't have rights until they are established by a court order.
I'm not certain that if in PA, your signing the birth certificate they require you to sign the Acknowledgment of Paternity first, but I'd guess in most cases that answer is no. Being on the birth certificate and an unwed father does not automatically establish rights.
So your first order of business is to contact the hospital she was born in and find out whether they require an AOP be signed before a father's name is added to the birth certificate.
2. You MUST file for the protective order and submit your evidence to the police. You need to start thinking like a parent instead of a forgiving boyfriend and take the necessary steps to protect this child, your feelings don't count.
3. You MUST file for the suit immediately while all of this is still fresh.
Hiring an attorney to guide you is going to be the best thing you can do for you and your child. With a protective order and charges filed against her for Domestic Violence, it's almost an open and shut case.
Ouragon - Did you change your avatar again?? |
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ouragon
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When you are choosing to be on the brink of violence for hours, you are choosing Domestic Violence. Have the common sense to walk away. You have both elevated and escalated things to an unreasonable degree. Why do you keep calling the cops on each other?
You haven't even proved fatherhood. A DNA test will be required for that because you aren't married. You'll have to pay for it. In most states SHE has full parental rights, but you must go to court to get custody/ visitation. I think the cops are wrong on that point.
http://www.dearesq.com/which-of-two-unmarried-parents-has-the-right-to-primary-custody/
This is if the fatherhood is proven. A name on the bc is meaningless.
Why don't you think hard about what's best for your child, who is cognizant of your (and her mom's) reprehensible behavior. It's impossible to fight with someone who walks away. Tell the mom this isn't what you want, and that you plan to walk away.
She can leave with your daughter, legally, so it's in your best interest to figure out how to work this out before you lose your child. She could go to a shelter and disappear. Unfair? You bet. Realistic? Yes, it is.
If I'd needed to be there by 10 to see the judge, I would've starting walking earlier.
You act like you're right, but you are exposing a three year old to Domestic Violence. The mom has no legal record, and you aren't likely to get full custody. You'd better start acting rational and compromising for your child's sake.
EDIT: My husband didn't like my hair short, even on an avatar. He said it didn't look like me.
This is such a poorly understood point of law. Fourteen people said I was wrong on this yesterday, and it's scary for the parents, getting all this bad info, even from the police.
800.799.SAFE Nat'l Domestic Violence Hotline- they help men, too. You're in a bad position. See if they can help you. |
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scott
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Get an attorney and file for paternity. You must be declared the father before you can pursue further. Next file for sole custody for the protection of the child with supervised visitation. She is probably not smart enough to keep her mouth shut and will admint everything that she did to the judge. |
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JULIE A
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You need to talk to a lawyer and go to court to get custody of your daughter. |
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